Hope

Hi SA,

20 miles is no distance to be sniffed at - I'd struggle to do that on a bike in a weekend! I think I'm lucky that I don't really have any friends who are big gamblers, or at least I don't know that they are. Occasionally someone will talk about a fiver here or there, but for me I think that helps to keep it out of mind that no one else talks about gambling.

Good luck with the work thing, it doesn't sound like a particularly good place to be for your right now. Keep piling up those gamble free days on top of each other.

All the best

Ryan

Hey SA,

Lovely honest post 🙂

I can relate to it a lot. Running helps a lot ( not always i have to say ) but surely picks mood up for a time being.

I am not sure what's wrong with me..no stability what so ever...i can be on cloud 9 one day and fall to hell the next...i start pacing the room too now if get a bit panicky moods lol..or some music usually does the trick :-))

Well waffling on here...hope you have a good day at work tomorrow, as much as i don't like mine, i feel i need that time away from my low thoughts...concentrating on other things seems to let the time go quicker...and maybe will push me to pick the pace with changes i need in my life 🙂

Hey ho..stay safe and sound

WELL DONE on ur continued abstinence!!! Great job!!

Sandra xx

Day 414, comes to a close with not a penny gambled in that time.

Thanks Ryan & Sandra... my running goes from strength to strength that's for sure..am certainly clocking up the miles.

Found it very hard to hold my s**t together at work today. Clients behaviours deteriorating and all staff are stressed. Am going to talk to boss tomorrow, if she appears. What words will come out of my mouth am not quite sure but this conversation will be the beginning of the end for me.

Life feels very tough at the moment, but gambling won't make it any better. My gambling mate came round for tea. I gives him a tenna to get him through to his next benefits day. I says this is last time. I understand where he is at.

Thanks for listening... S.A

Hi S.A,

Sorry to hear that work continues to be sh it. Give her an ear full tomorrow. You're absolutely right though and I try to tell myself the same thing; that gambling doesn't solve a d**n thing. I see you are a good friend there S.A. Here's a hug. Not much but, I got nuthin else... ((((((((((S.A))))))))))) -joanxxx

Day 415 and another day without gambling.

Thanks Judy 🙂

Another crazy chaotic day at work. The emotional rollercoaster goes on and on. Strange thing is am kinda buzzing at the moment, having survived another day. In days passed I would have hopped skipped and jumped (metaphorically speaking) straight to the machines to continue the high, only to then end up in the depths of despair having lost all my money.

No resignation today... on it goes. No gambling. Thanks for listening... S.A

P.s It crosses my mind that I have some autistic traits and a highly sensitive nervous system.

Hey SA,

Thanks for the post..i leave all the negative stuff on my diary and come along with fresh positivity for others 🙂 that's how it works in my little world lol

Work - chaos...hmmm..that's about right my friend.

Keep strong my friend and fight for yourself because you are worth more than you can imagine :-))

Good stuff on continued abstinence....be proud SA 🙂

Stay safe, calm and keep smiling ( now and again at least ) 😀

Sandra x

Day 416 begins with not a penny gambled in that time.

Some agency rang me. Did I want to pick up shifts working in a children's home. I says maybe, so today I go to sign up with them ( I have a day off). Am very luke warm about it all though and it involves forking out £50 for them to do the CRB checks. It feels like it might be money down the drain.

My gambling head says, well you can win it back after. I needed to say that because the thought lingers. This finding new work thing is really messing with my head. Every time I try to do job search I feel my self-confidence drain away and yet I am confident in my current job even though it stresses me out. This working with troubled kids lark feels like out of the frying pan and into the fire.. being told to f*** off much of the time no doubt. I am fearful of change and confused about what to do. Its a recipe for gambling.

No gambling. Thanks for listening... S.A

P.s I feel really low.... its 50:50 whether I will show up at this place. Place your bets. (sorry... not a good joke)... am not in a good place.

Day 416 continues...

Am feeling better.I went and I signed up with the agency and as it turns out they do alot of work with schools etc and they have a good hourly rate to...so its a start. Formalities may take a while but its a start. Gambling urges have subsided. Am gonna chill and be good to myself for the rest of the day. Thanks for listening.... S.A 🙂

SA, my friend 🙂

Your last post is music to my ears!!! You go man, go and show what you are trully worth..:-)) I took so much inspiration from you just now, will update my CV and send it out...(then I finish posting lol ) so thank you!!!!

As they say...they only see what they had then they lose it...

Be good to urself, you have no choice in this crazy crazy world :-))

Hugs ((((( SA ))))

S x

A very late merry Christmas and happy new year to you sorry about the lateness been feeling sorry for myself and burying my head but have snapped out of all that now (hopefully!). Hope you had a good one and make 2014 a great one! Done a lot of thinking of late and I wanna give a massive thank you for all the help, support and encouragement you have given me over the last 2/3 years (mad that it's been that long!) but it is appreciated and has helped so much. Glad your still ploughing on and I hope this year will be the year for me where I plough on and really give gambling a right kicking. Thanks mate. Take care.

Day 417 with not a penny gambled in that time.

Thanks Sandra and Dave 🙂

All in all a fairly positive day. Work was stressful but manageable. Signing up with the agency is going quicker than expected. It is the beginning of the end for me in current job. I can feel it. It will happen.

An enjoyable run this eve... 7miles, no wind and rain for a change.

No gambling. Thanks for listening... S.A 🙂

P.s Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I am starting to venture on the work front, now that's a good thing.

Well done old friend - remember tomorrow is as dangerous as any other day. Great to see you still exercising, good for the mind and body. Myself, 1:1 counseling, although expensive, seems to be doing something that hasn't happened in a long time, fingers crossed

Take Care

Blues

No wind and rain? Sounds like you must be genuinely fortunate tonight! Great that you are keeping strong and looking for other opportunities. While I've had some good and bad jobs, in the end they are just that. I've never regretted leaving a job to do something else, whether its turned out good or bad. The only thing I'd be likely to regret is to do something I dislike too long.

Keep up the good work, both in terms of roadwork and staying free from gambling.

Ryan

Day 418, gambling free.

Thanks both 🙂

Struggling day. Full of anxiety and stress. A cycle to the pool for swim and sauna this evening helped a bit.

No gambling, that's the main thing. Thanks for listening... S.A

Day 419, gambling free.

I just run 17 miles. That was hard work but I did it... 18 next week weather permitting and then after that I run up to 3 hours for my long run which would put me between 18 and 19 miles. No more than 3 hours running in any long run though... I just concentrate on getting a bit quicker and getting my body use to those sort of distances. In theory once am comfortable with 18 to 19 then the last 7 miles of the marathon won't be quite such a nightmare that they usually are.. lol ( he remembers past marathons).

Sorry that none of this has got f*** all to do with gambling.. but its what I do instead of gambling.

Other area's of my life are complete pants.. but I don't want to talk about them at this moment in time.

Thanks for listening... S.A