Hope

SA

fella why should you want to talk about anything else??

you just ran 17 miles my freind !!!!!!

That to a mere mortal is something to talk about, if you were still at it I am pretty sure that running would take a back seat.

As it is you have goals, things that you will I am sure achieve.

for that alone

Again in the words of the honourable smiler

BE KIND TO YOURSELF.

After reading posts like that I feel inspired, so thanks for sharing.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Day 420 or 60 weeks without a bet of any kind.

Thanks Dunc's... to be honest I'd love to have a few months of just running and rest and races and a little socialising. I hate going to work. Am full of stress and anxiety about the place now.

The big announcement that we have been waiting for is not that the centre I work in is closing down, its that the other day centre and central office is closing down and everything is being shipped over to the centre I work in. This ain't good news.... it means continuing chaos and clients kicking off... all for next to minimum wage.

Am waiting for the powers that be to do my reference request... of course its nobody else's priority except for mine. As soon as its done I'm off. But will they do it.. they won't want me to go. How much do I push and prod...? Am glad my mate is coming over today. I haven't actually spoken to anyone since I left work on Friday.

No gambling for 60 weeks.... am chuffed to bits with that. I acknowledge this milestone. Trying to be kind to myself... I just find it hard. Thanks for listening... S.A

Hey SA,

Thank you for a lovely message..made me smile.

Always remember, you are no 1, you are worth everything in this World and and you can do everything with ur life.

Opportunities are out there, and i know sometimes they feel like out of reach, but if we keep trying to make it work - eventually we gift ourselves that lovely achievement feeling.

Believe in yourself my friend and of course be kind to yourself :-))

...and grow those b... lol..to fight for your rights and everything you are entitled to.

Have a good, stress free day :-))

Sandra x

P.s. good stuff on g free time!!! Be proud 🙂 xx

Hi S.A. I think we have very similar views/approaches/ethics when it comes to our work lives. (We aren't similar when it comes to exercise as you wouldn't even catch me running for a bus!! lol) There are so many things in my work life that create anxiety and stress. I'm slowly, slowly coming to accept that I just can't change those people/things/situations/processes, etc. I think part of why people like us find it so difficult is that we are generally efficient and we care. And I don't think it's necessarily that those others don't care, but they're better at recognizing what they can't change (or... because I actually don't like the word "can't".... maybe it's what would be too hard on them to try to change so they don't bother). At any rate, I feel like I did quite well this week because, like you, my blood pressure goes nuts when it comes to work frustrations. I find this little breathing exercise helpful when I'm very anxious. Have a good week.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Wg-UAYGa2A

Day 421 completely gamble free and thanks both 🙂

Well am slowly edging my way towards resignation. I told my manager I will be moving on soon enough and she's totally supportive. My reference has been done so am told. Just a few eyes to dot and tea's to cross and then the resignation letter will be in... moving on for better or worse.

In some respects this is only possible because I haven't gambled for a decent length of time.. rent ahead, bills ahead, some savings. Although I will have mixed emotions when the moment comes ( I will miss certain staff)... its time.

I wait for the rain to ease so I can go for a run....

Thanks for listening... S.A 🙂

SA - good luck with the resignation and hope you find something else soon.

I do however really struggle with the fact that you have savings after (only) 421 days. For me any compulsive gambler would still be paying off debts after that amount of time. Maybe your gambling caused you a lot of problems but you weren't compulsive and beg stole and borrowed all you could to fund the addiction. If so I'm glad you managed to manage things to that degree.

Best wishes.

Hey SA,

Great news and I'm well chuffed for you!! :-))

Little steps forward my friend...you will get there!!

I am over the moon for my sis...she just changed jobs...retail, the one she always wanted ( lovely dressed, nails, make up) lol..she used to work in a factory, so you know how huge change it is :-))

I am still looking...just can't give up hope, smthing must be out there..for all of us..just more belief and make it happen 🙂

Once again, well done SA...you are defo heading in the right direction 🙂

Take care

Sandra xx

Day 421 continues... thanks both 🙂

Sandra... yes baby steps, inching forward. Things have a habit of working out. Am feeling positive today.

Captain... I gambled myself to bankruptcy a few years ago... so I have no bank debt anymore. This is why I can save a little now. I did many things I regret when I was gambling.

I just been for a very enjoyable 7 mile run. Thanks for listening... S.A 🙂

Bankruptcy eh, well hats off you can't get more compulsive than that!

Thanks for clarifying.

Well done SA,

That's why you take all the precautions to make it work 100% . We do make mistakes in life, but only can learn from them.

Onwards we go!!!!

Well done on 7 miles...I had about the same today..feels great:-))

Take care

Sandra x

Sa

my friend i hope your honest approach helps you find another cog in your own recovery, through gifting yourself a job without so much grief. The effort is there in black and white.

From page one were you came to this forum, emotionally and financially bankrupt you have taken every opportunity to become a better person. That i believe is true and the humility you bring with that is something to behold.

From me thanks for sharing i learn a great deal.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Day 422 gambling free

Thanks Dunc's and yes I consider myself a basically honest person. I don't tell bare faced lies. For example if I gamble I will say so. Pointless living a lie, including on here and especially on here perhaps.

But of course honesty is actually a broad concept if ya think about. How many times over my life time have people asked me "How are you?" and ive said "fine thanks" when inside ive felt absolutely rotten.. that is me telling a lie. Maybe another lie goes like this... well they didn't ask so I didn't tell them... this is me lying by omission. Ive been guilty of that one too.

None of us are fools though are we. I find it fairly easy to spot when people are lying to me, so am sure it would be the same the other way around. I think the reality is that most of the time I can't be bothered to take issue with people lying to me, so maybe it gives them the impression that they've got away with it... more fool them.

Am still teetering on the edge of resignation but today was never going to be the day. Had an outing to the Malvern ***.. which was better than being in the centre. Stress levels still high mind but manageable. No gambling thoughts... Thanks for listening... S.A

Hey SA

Good for you for putting steps in place to make a move and as Duncs says , your progress in recovery has very much changed many aspects of your life...improved confidence shines through.

Also made up you have some savings and again this just goes to show how the pot is no longer all empty and you are building your life in a constructive way ..I remember reading in your 1st page about bankrupcy and I think if it's possible to do then it really is a clean start and a new slate.

Am also one for using the old maxim FINE or as they say in 12 step the real meaning is :

f****d up

Insecure

Needy

Emotional ...

Lol xxx

Day 423 gambling free

Ah thank you Rach, am finding it hard today though. I think your acronym FINE just about sums me up... its been an emotional rollercoaster.

Ive taken the plunge... resignation has happened. A good polite letter thanking the company and working my months notice etc and then 2 hours later I had a call from the agency I plan to work for to say that they need another reference because the one my current employer has sent has merely stated when I started working for them and not a lot else and then when I asked the service manager for a work character reference she says no! its all got to go through hr. So in short after 3 hard years working for this firm am not even getting a decent official reference. Its w**k!

What I do say is this though... no regrets, for better or worse I am leaving...this is a s**t company to work for in all respects. todays events only undermine my determination to get out. save my sanity.

No gambling. Thanks for listening... S.A

Hi SA

I've been with you for many a year and now very glad you have decided to make a move from your place of employment. For better or for worse you have taken the power away from them and holding it firmly in your hands. March forwards in recovery and keep passing the message on.

Take care