Hope

Day 410

Thanks Steve and yes am leaving this job. You haven't gone on... your thoughts really help... I appreciate them. Ive written my resignation letter. I will carry it in my back pocket. I don't intend to hand it in today as I at least want a sense of what I am moving on to and that means some intensive job search which I started last night.

Although new year is just another day I notice others have decided to make change as well ie moving away from the forum. I wish them well, I will miss certain regular posters. I will stick around for now as I need the support.

O well time to start getting ready for work. Its a full centre today, all clients in and one of the vehicles has been smashed up so god knows whats going to happen and how we are going to get clients from a to b. No management as far as I know... recipe for a major incident. Gulp! Thanks for listening... S.A 🙂

No gambling since 18th November 2012

S.A.

Read about people who carry out the 365 day running challenge where they run every single day for a year. What do you think? You think we could manage that.

Tomso.

Day 410 continues...

Hi Tomso,

Well, in principle yes. The big challenge in my opinion would would be to avoid fatigue injuries, like shin splints. Also what would count as a run? Would a ten minute run around the block count or would it have to be of a certain length or time? Running if ill would also be a challenge.

I think the longest period of days ive done when marathon training is only about 10 days.. but each of those would have been at least 3 miles. and mostly a lot more.

Work

Ive not resigned yet, but another stressful day which only undermines the reasons that I want to leave.

No gambling. Thanks for listening... S.A

Hi SA

Not sure if this will help or hinder but will put it out there anyway ..

I've had a lot of job changes in my life but when embarking on any move I have thought .."what's the worst case scenario"

If my bases are covered such as roof over my head, outgoings and basics then I've made the move if not then I have applied "don't fly without a parachute " thinking and got another position whilst already in a job.

You are in strong position but may not realise it .you have a job at the moment so noting to stop you shopping around ,maybe outside of the box? Its all interview experience.

An acquaintance of mine is happily "jobbed up" but shops around on his day off to see what's out there almost like a hobby. As he is not in a desperate position he is relaxed in interviews and can consider the pros and cons of making a switch from a non fearful position of knee jerking out of desperation.

Still reading ..but have run out of stuff to say on my own diary xxx

R and D xx

SA

Fella thanks for post, so true regarding the dentistry!!!! f**k my friend I dont have any in the back half of my mouth!!!

When visiting the dentist all my adult life, the question of extraction v root canal has always been proceeded by the same answer

'whatever is cheapest!!'

And to end I would only go after the second lot of antibiotics stopped working.

A very crazy world my compulsion to gamble took me. I truthfully would put my own health behind a punt!!

I hope you find the resolve to follow Rach's sound advice, I really liked the quote

'you don't board a plane without a parachute'

Very true today.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

S.A.

365 day challenge has a minimum of 3 mile distance. I read this somewhere on the internet. I agree it seems like such a big commitment but then again going out for forty minutes each day doesn't seem so bad. The effort compared to the gains for me doesn't seem that bad at all. Running helps me a great deal that is not in doubt.

Anyway, I have been out the last two days and I will be going out today.

I hope work goes O.K. for you.

Tomso.

Hi SA,

Thank you for your recent immense support and really thoughtful words.

I really wish all the best for you and hope you will find that new better place to work in 🙂

As of running...d**n man, I did a little marathon yesterday ( well 8 miles is marathon for me these days lol ) but then got into work and night progressesd, start feeling immense pain in my knee. Feels like bones are griding each other while I walk...no chance to get up the stairs..and now, still the same.. I just wonder what might it be? I don't think I strained it while running...maybe wet weather affects the joints?

Must be age...ha ha..killing me to know I can't get out today for a run..well,, see how it goes tomorrow, if the same, time for doctor's visit with my little list of problems lol..

Sorry for ramble, but thanx for listening 🙂

Well done on your continued abstinence.

Sandra x

Day 411 with not a penny gambled on any form of gambling.

Thanks for your thoughts as always folks. I always think about feedback received 🙂

Another day at work survived. The usual rollercoaster of emotions... depressed, stressed, annoyed and even cheerful and happy...all within the space of 7 hours... moods changing like the wind.

Now its the weekend and its starting to feel like the whole Christmas, New year thing is finally done and dusted. On balance I think I struggled more than I thought I would, especially given the fact that I could afford it this year thanks to no gambling. Clearly this time of year has triggered all the usual negative feelings and shows that having a bit more money in the pocket doesn't mean that I was going to enjoy the time of year any more. Anyway tis gone for another year.

Swim and sauna tonight... too tired to run. No gambling thoughts. Thanks for listening... S.A 🙂

Thanks for your warm post to me, SA. I read your thread fairly regularly and have to tell you that I am in total admiration of what you've achieved. Kudos to you! I did eat more yesterday but have learned the dizzy spells are from vertigo and not diet. It's good to know that it's nothing life threatening but still, a pain to have to deal with. Oh well.

Day 412 begins, with not a penny gambled on any form of gambling.

Thanks Carla 🙂

Iv'e been thinking about why I continue to post and I think, well why not? I enjoy it. Keep doing the things you enjoy isn't it? The daily commune with myself helps me to deal with how I feel.. and that's what its all about isn't it? I'd say that the majority of people here gamble on their emotions in one way or another and this is an alternative way of dealing with them in a more healthy way. My aim at some point is to find myself more support in the 3d world but until that time comes am here waffling away like I do and even when that time may come I still think I'd type because as I say, I enjoy it.

Am gearing up for a long run. Realise am better running a long run on a Saturday, so that I can recover sufficiently by work time on Monday. Its even more horrid being at work when knackered and dehydrated from long runs.

Anyway, laters.. S.A 🙂

S.A.

Fella today I salute you.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi SA

Yes I also have used my diary as a daily commune with myself and it has helped me not lash out in my 3d life whereas I would have done normally. By dumping on my diary it's discharged tension.

I've started to talk to people now more in 3d in a constructive way especially in work after it reached a head again a few months ago. At the moment it's ok bit I'm not kidding myself it will stay that way as what normally happens is I go on a low , think about leaving and then have the best day ever straight afterwards having even a laugh with the person who for 364 days a year wrecks my head.

The job is not the problem, I can do the job stood on my head. It's the people! Lol...story of my life!

I guess it comes down to the Ol serenity prayer which on a good day try and use across everything in life ..

"Accept the things you cannot change and change the things you can"

In work ..I read that as very black and white "are these people going to change? " NO..so I have 2 choices.

1.Accept it and work around them and don't set myself up.

2. look for something else.

All I can say from my own work life is that I have never once regretted quitting a job even when I've taken pay cuts and often in hindsight I look back and think, how the hell did I do it for so long?

however in all truth ,the reasons that I have usually left a job (headworkers) have usually always followed me into the next job , just with a different face...

I have to still learn to deal with them in a constructive way and not sacrifice work I enjoy.

This time I'm not being hounded out of work I like but trying to deal with it despite it causing a bit of conflict. This is why good people like you who are very good at what you do end up leaving your work which takes high personal integrity (which in my mind cannot be taught) and replaced by a set of clowns.

In my work I do have a strong hierarchy of people and strict rules "higher up" if I push it so the support is there but in using that support it will cause merry hell at ground roots level in our branch between all staff..that's the catch 22.

Anyhoo...I know you will find a solution...keep using your diary SA it's an asset to you, xxxxxx

Day 412 continues...

Thanks Rach, lots of thoughts of yours that I relate to. I find myself nodding along. I will find my way through my job dilemmas when it happens. I hesitate to hand in my resignation letter for all the sensible reasons you and others have mentioned... but it feels close. There is a big management meeting next week and I think after that then we staff will be informed of changes to happen. January seems to be the month that developments happen in the company that I work for.

I think once am finally free I too will look back and think "why did I stay so long?".. I think its partly the allegiance I have with 2 or 3 staff but if one of them decides to go (we all talk of leaving) then that will be my cue... as my main support will have gone.

The thing is in this line of work you HAVE to get on with people, it makes a huge difference because of the challenging needs of the clients. All it takes is one weak link or one member of staff who isn't liked or can't work in a team or is useless with the clients and then it gets much much more stressful for everyone. In my opinion we have more than one weak link.. and the weak links ain't me. But I spose I would say that wouldn't I lol

I ran 16 miles today in 2 hours 26 minutes and 11 seconds. This averages at 9.08 mins per mile. Elevation gain 858 feet Elevation loss 840 feet. So more uphill than downhill. The runners world race time predictor predicts a time of 4 hours 6 minutes and 33 seconds for the marathon given todays performance. I am pleased, but much work to do.

Thanks for listening... S.A

S.A.

Sounds like a great run. Keep up the good work.

Tomso.

Into day 413 with not a penny gambled in that time.

Thanks Tomso.

Just 4 miles this morning, nice and slow... 20 miles for the weekend.

Mate coming round for lunch which gives me the impetus to tidy and clean just a little and cook something half edible. Am doing a chilli-con carne type thing.

Mate is f****d because of his Christmas gambling. He asks me if I can lend him something till his next benefits payment. I says ok but as it happens I only have a twenty pound note and it ain't getting his mits on that.

Running is only thing keeping me on a level at the moment. Am stressed about work and generally depressed.. but am not gambling.. on it goes. Thanks for listening... S.A