Hope

Lovely post my friend, you are working st recovery, and 165 days and not a single penny spent on any form of gambling

soo proud of you.

Keep turning stuff around slowly but surely, and keep winning

Suzanne xxx,

Hi SA,

Great positive post ☺ thank you for sharing!
Working at recovery...nice & steady, foot in front of another dear soldier

Sandra x

Hey SA,

13 miles! Awesome work for sure, so very big well done ☺
I will prob start with 5 lol..cannot overdo my first run in ages can i...else i will need to be scraped off that pavement 😉

Yes, that app is really good. It's called "movie box" and you can download it for free. Easy to navigate, very quick uploading and plenty of movies/series to pick from ☺
Watched Spy last night and still giggle to myself uptil now..really funny ☺..also would recommend to watch "inside out" and seen it in cinema, it's animation one but so clearly explains what's going on in these boxes on our shoulders lol..i am "sadness" as Sesuo agreed and she is "joy" lol lol..all good fun to tell ya the least!
I remember my counsellor suggested to watch "happy feet" for when i feel blue, she said it works every time to lift someone's spirits up. Seen that one there, but suddenly don't feel as blue lol

You're right, gambling hides our personalities and we cannot let it happen. We're deffo better people when not gambling.

Keep up good work, better days will not stop coming and we both know that! Embrace the unknown - accept yourself for who you really are - amazing, kind, compassionate person ☺

Very well done and stay safe

Hey thanks, bless you both x

Day 169 with not a single penny (of real money) gambled on any form of gambling. This is good but alas am still playing free slots from time to time, usually when am feeling stressed or depressed or a combination of both. I am obsessed with a particular slot game and I am heavilly dependant on my blocking software to prevent me playing for real. I don't think I would have been strong enuff to rely on willpower...in fact am sure of it !

Having said all of this, there are positives amongst the negatives. I decided to sort my flat out this half-term break and ive actually been doing it... clenaing and tidying and sorting out has actually happened. I feel better for not living in an unkempt flat... atleast for today anyway!! 🙂

Am feeling fairly upbeat today but yesterday, despite my practical endeavours, I was depressed. When to bed early but didn't sleep much. Tossing and turning like a piece of meat on a barbecue.

I watched a programme about people with mental health problems the other day. You may have seen it... Stephen Fry presented it. Very interesting. It focussed on bi-polar but it got me wandering what my diagnosis would be. Straight forward anxiety and depression I think. I honestly think I would benefit from going on some drug for the long term. I remember feeling calmer and weller when ive been on them before. But the doc always says, a short term course of bla... to get through the current crisis. But for me ive been through virtually the whole of my life just feeling a bit depressed and a bit anxious like 95% of the time... waiting for the inevitable next crisis to come along... usually gambling related of course. Although I am protecting myself and I am relatively stable at the moment I have no real confidence that i will be able to maintain this forever and a day. I know "just keep it in the day"

I guess for some of you, the longer you don't gamble the better your life gets or the better life feels. It doesn't work like that with me. Its not a straight forward progression from the depths of despair to a happy and contented life. Its up and down like a yo-yo. The only concrete thing that not gambling does is to stablize my finances. Don't get me wrong... thats a very good thing, but everything else is so much harder.

As always I be quite hard on myself and deep down I do see that am in a better place than i was 6 months ago, but am just... well impatient i spose, wanting a better life now, rather than sometime down the road. But then like i say... when i think a little more deeply things are better than they were....

enuff for now... thanks for listening... S.A

Thanks for your post SA,

Agreed this is a good place to get down your thoughts but also think that talking in the 3d world is a handy tool to go hand in hand with gamcare. I've been using the Mind charity this past couple of months, it has a nice ambient feel about the place and the new fresh type therapists seem to have a nce empathy about themselves. Its also very reasonably priced and your also giving something back to the non case hardened people there.... Just a thought!

Good on you for your winter clean up, a good positive and something always comes from a positive even if its just a thought of coming back to a clean fresh abode after a long run....

I find this bloke speaks alot of sence and keeps it as simple as it should be...

https://youtu.be/72UuGF7YdX4

Hi SA,

Wow...relate to you 100%. I feel like I'm not progressing in my life, but if you look closer, little changes are happening. We, as CG are impatient people. I can stamp my feet and scream i want it now! Lol...d'oh...nothing comes easy and everything takes time!.

Tablets are temporary solution, i have to agree with that. ..but if they help, why say no? Sometimes that's all it takes to get yourself stronger, clearer, committed to the change and new adventures. For me, it helps me to build my confidence up and don't see the world as dounting and nasty place. Not saying I'm flying around with smile on this mug, but the reactions to outside world definitely changed...I'm calmer ☺...lol & i sound like I'm on horse tranquilisers huh 😀 ...no, i just accept help offered and taking my life from there.

Ohhh...another thing..i lied to you the other day!..it's not "movie box" lol..it's "Show box"....good app, worth checking it out if you still have urges of "free play"...outweighs the mind f**k for sure 😉

Later and well done on gf days! Go man

Ps...nearly 5 miles in nearly 50 min yesterday :-(..tell ya what, i would be quicker walking for sure lol

Hi SA,

I watched that documentary too and thought it was really good. I'm sure there are a lot of people (both on here and in "the real world") who have some level of unrecognised mental health problem...not all bi-polar, obviously, but struggling with issues that if they were physical they would get to their GP about. I'm not sure if they don't recognise it or don't want to recognise it, but in my opinion help and treatment are the way forward. I wouldn't try to treat a broken leg or stomach ulcer myself, so why would I do that for my depression? I'm glad that programmes like that open up the issue a bit and maybe start to encourage a bit more understanding .Anyway....I've ventured off of what I was going to say (sorry).

Tell me to mind my own business, but I was wondering if it's your GP saying a short course of meds to get through the crisis or is that a psychiatrist? (you don't have to answer). If it's your GP, you could ask for a referral to a consultant psych...with the best will in the world GP's don't have the same level of training/experience. There is a condition (think it's called dysthrymia) that is like a constant low level of depression, a chronic depression if you like, it's not the same as regular depression...it's almost as though all of life feels a bit flat. I'm not in any way saying you've got that (or any other) type of depression...I'm just mentioning it because it popped into my head when I read your post.

Keep well.

LB x

Day 173 with not a penny having been gambled.

Much food for thought in your comments folks, thankyou.

I think that even I have to admit to myself that life IS better without gambling in it. Ive had a productive and constructive half term despite my underlying depressive tendencies.

Ive done 80% of the tidying and sorting on my flat that i planned to do, ive done two long runs, ive swum and relaxed in the sauna, ive played chess and snooker with mates and ive worked two agency shifts. In short ive kept myself fairly busy and ive felt better for it.

I go back to work at the school, not up to the edge of my overdraft and not in a mega crisis of mind body and soul. Thats all I can ask for really.

No gambling

Thanks for listening... S.A

SA, just a thought as i see similarities with me. How's about making that 80% of cleaning the flat 100% today. Its also something i seem to do. Best intentions are good but finishing something is better.

Enjoy your day

Hey SA,

Sounds like normality is back inda hood ☺ so good to hear that you're achieving little goals in your daily life. That's all we need to do - appreciate what we have - health, food on the table, job, roof over our heads...and just for a little icing on the cake - swimming pool & sauna! Yep man...I'm jeal lol! Wrestling with the thought of heading bk to the gym, used to love tose chilling times in sauna/steam room..kinda process of being reborn huh ☺

Ohhh...did my "long" run of nearly 8 miles on Sunday & 5 yesterday...feel like getting back on track..what else can i ask for?
...well....loooove maybe & a puppy haha

Have a good week & take it easy my friend! Keep those gambling free days mounting up, life is far better without this nasty addiction crossing the path huh

Laters

S x

Hey lovely Man:))

Lovely last post and not one single penny spent on gambling, just reaping the rewards that recovery gives us in little and big ways, :))

Keep doing what you are doing because you are doing it.

Suzanne xxx

Day 178 gamble free. Thanks all for your wisdom.

Am still e*e, definately not going anywhere. I take a break of a few days sometimes but I come back. I am still very much on my cycle of problem gambling but always working on not reaching the part of the cycle where i gamble... one day at a time.

Am a little sad to read about certain long timers exiting stage left but it in truth it doesn't detract from me working on my own recovery.

Work has been challenging as always, but am feeling quite stable and resilient at the moment... so its ok.

I feel as if I might take a few potentially positive risks with my life in the not to distant future.

Life isn't that bad really is it.... it only feels like it (briefly) when we do daft things, like gamble all our money away.

Thanks for listening... S.A 🙂

S.A wrote:

Hey thanks, bless you both x

Day 169 with not a single penny (of real money) gambled on any form of gambling. This is good but alas am still playing free slots from time to time, usually when am feeling stressed or depressed or a combination of both. I am obsessed with a particular slot game and I am heavilly dependant on my blocking software to prevent me playing for real. I don't think I would have been strong enuff to rely on willpower...in fact am sure of it !

Having said all of this, there are positives amongst the negatives. I decided to sort my flat out this half-term break and ive actually been doing it... clenaing and tidying and sorting out has actually happened. I feel better for not living in an unkempt flat... atleast for today anyway!! 🙂

Am feeling fairly upbeat today but yesterday, despite my practical endeavours, I was depressed. When to bed early but didn't sleep much. Tossing and turning like a piece of meat on a barbecue.

I watched a programme about people with mental health problems the other day. You may have seen it... Stephen Fry presented it. Very interesting. It focussed on bi-polar but it got me wandering what my diagnosis would be. Straight forward anxiety and depression I think. I honestly think I would benefit from going on some drug for the long term. I remember feeling calmer and weller when ive been on them before. But the doc always says, a short term course of bla... to get through the current crisis. But for me ive been through virtually the whole of my life just feeling a bit depressed and a bit anxious like 95% of the time... waiting for the inevitable next crisis to come along... usually gambling related of course. Although I am protecting myself and I am relatively stable at the moment I have no real confidence that i will be able to maintain this forever and a day. I know "just keep it in the day"

I guess for some of you, the longer you don't gamble the better your life gets or the better life feels. It doesn't work like that with me. Its not a straight forward progression from the depths of despair to a happy and contented life. Its up and down like a yo-yo. The only concrete thing that not gambling does is to stablize my finances. Don't get me wrong... thats a very good thing, but everything else is so much harder.

As always I be quite hard on myself and deep down I do see that am in a better place than i was 6 months ago, but am just... well impatient i spose, wanting a better life now, rather than sometime down the road. But then like i say... when i think a little more deeply things are better than they were....

enuff for now... thanks for listening... S.A

Sure your aware, but be careful of those free slots. Might not seem as if its gambling, but i know continuing to play them keeps me in the cycle of gambling. Almost anything else is preferable! Well done on everything else. Stopping gambling is the toughest thing. It really can be!

Hey SA,

Thanks for dropping by ☺...ohhh..i hear you're on the road to some changes (positive risks). As long as they are not negative - go for them with head held high!

Yup, i hear what you say about drink and gambling going hand in hand... for me the experience shown that i don't need to drink to go on slots...i drank half of my life and even if it provided me some relaxing times, it worked negatively on me also. I hate to think how my liver looks like but am surprised that i managed all the exercising while i was on that particular road. I was social drinker (that's when i had friends lol) but since i started recovery (and a little before that..my year and a half active gambling) i become more isolated...which i still find difficult to get out from this lil cycle..face the world that is lol but lil steps are being made :-))))
Now I'm just glad i gave myself a break. Not saying i won't ever drink again, but am comfortable with abstinence just for today. Hell bored at evenings but cannot beat the feeling not being hangover in the morning lol..besides, seems like my moods has settled down now so i shall take it as positive ☺..& i stopped talking bull & upsetting ppl! That's bonus i believe 😉

Ok..gone off on here a little. Good to hear you're on the straight and narrow and being kind to yourself. We are a lot better people when we don't gamble - esp for ourselves...and when we are kind to ourselves, we spread it to every1 around us ☺..

Be good, keep winning 😉

One day at a time

S x

Day 183 with not a single penny gambled.... over 6 months once again.

Thanks for your thoughts Sandra and Triangle. Am working hard to reduce other negative behaviours and keep doing positive things. A work in progress.

Thanks for listening.. S.A 🙂

Last gamble 1st september 2015