I am stronger than I thought!

Char, e-mail coming to you.

Hey Char

Sounds like your having a tough time at the moment. Well done for coming straight back here its important that you keep fighting.

Sorry to hear you have had a slip, i know its painful and raw at the minute but it doesnt undo all the hard work you have put in to come this far.

I know one day your going to get there and overcome this one and for all. Never give up on giving up.

Best Wishes

Andeew xx

Admit defeat charlotte its something Flagg has told me to do in the past you need to accept and understand how strong this addiction is and you can't win you can't beat it. You need to know that it's just something that you can longer do as it will always control you not the other way around. Just keep your head up. Your young not in loads and loads of debt. You can sort this all out and in years to come look back on it and laugh at how stupid you were but how strong you were to get out of the situation and for that you will be so proud. Stay strong Charlotte. Your a well loved character on here and offer some great support to many so we all wish you well - do what you need to do and focus on you!

Hey Charl,

Really sorry to hear you are having a difficult time at the moment. Many people say there are different ways to approach recovery and what works for one may not work for another. What you are doing is trying to find the right formula for you. You need to look at the times you turn back to gambling and it is often linked to feeling low. Are there any things you can try or put in place to protect yourself from going to gamble when feeling down?

Currently I don't feel on top of the world and i'm not saying my problems are comparable to yours because they are different but what I am saying is when I am feeling low I don't gamble simply because I have the right blocks in place to prevent me doing so. I am no better or stronger it's just my restrictions are tighter. Money is our fuel and if we have access eventually it will go wrong.

Finally, it may actually help if you admit defeat to gambling. I often think the whole reason I am here is because I admitted defeat. By saying you have lost, it almost gives you a clearer view and allows you to defend against the addiction and urges better. I think to myself the addiction is stronger than me but I can protect myself against it by doing various things. Posting here, attending meetings, limiting access to money, blocking software on the computer etc etc.

Like I said it's not easy when you are feeling low gambling is like your escape but ultimately it doesn't make you feel better so you need to find the ways to stop.

Myself and so many others really want you to succeed. Keep fighting.

Flagg

Hi Charlotte,

Flagg really said it all. Recovery is a journey as you already know. The thing is that from time to time the path may not always lead us in a straight line. Hopefully we all have very long lives in front of us. And, that's why we have to really hear the phrases "progress NOT perfection". Or, "ONE day at a time" The journey hopefully will be a long one. We will from time to time fall down and we will get right back up again. Okay, so you gambled but you came on here and admitted to youself that you did that. You are making progress Charlotte. Take Care and do not be too hard on yourself. What is it that you tell me? We are all here for eachother. That gave me such a lift. Let me/us be there for you now. Hugs Charlotte. -joanxxx

lovely lovely charlotte

carl

Hi charlotte

What a journey ur on so many ups and downs but for me there is so more many ups , sometimes we just av to look at the big picture where u were where u r now and more importantly that person u were and the person u r now , all I can do is heap praise on u I know u might not agree at this moment in time but the praise is for the fighter in u never giving up on that better life

U will get there

Take care

Castle2

hi char

carl

Hi Char,

Sorry to hear you are going through some tough times at the moment, I know how you feel. Take some time away from a few things for a bit but if you feel fragile hand over the bulk of your money to someone who can look after it for you whilst you are so fragile. When you are feeling low the burning desire to spend your money is at it's highest. Come back when you next can, keep your chin up x

Hello charlotte,

sorry to read you are struggling a wee bit.

May I point you in the direction of jac s last post,I think on page 2 now. Very wise words indeed.

Good luck in beating this,you can and a lot of people are behind you,will beat this 😉

Winning Post.

Hello Charlotte20, sorry I missed your birthday but I was tied to a bed in Outer Mongolia and I've only just managed to escape. I'm just flying through to wish you well, thanks for your kind words. Sorry to hear you've been through a rough patch but remember nothing worth fighting for comes easy. It's not easy though when you still have emotional feelings for someone. You'll look back in time and think 'what was that all about.' We've all been in situations like that. Your rational side says one thing but your emotions say another. It's easier said than done saying try to appreciate what you've got, appreciation only really comes with time and hindsight but you'll get there I'm sure and find the contentment you deserve, take care Lotte, I'll hopefully be back in 65 days with a smile on my face, till then best wishes.

Charlotte.

So glad to see your recovery has not been derailed my dear friend, keep on doing what is right for you.

A journey that i know will get you where you deserve to be.

Happy.

Hope that little one is still giving you your belief.

Duncs stepping forward never back

Hey Charlotte,

Keep at the counselling, babe. It sounds like it is hitting some raw nerves, and stirring up some painful emotions. It's really scary when that happens, and you have panicked. That's OK. It's understandable really.

Don't be hard on yourself - as I said recently on Paulds diary, I will say it again on yours - don't let your mistakes define what you are capable of. I slipped up dozens of times, and may do so again at some point. I'm still 18 months+ clean. So the number of mistakes I made, didn't mean I couldn't achieve anything in recovery. I'm doing great, as can you.

Learn from this. You have found that you had a lot of bottled up, painful emotions, that came tumbling out and you gambled to escape. The lesson in this? It's not healthy to bottle stuff up. It makes you self destruct. So work on changing that - as you are by working with a counsellor.

I still believe in you as much as ever.

Take care,

f x

Hi Charlotte,

I can only echo much of what has already been said. Gambling, its like a reaction to life isn't it. Gambling numbs whatever it is that we find hard to face or struggle to deal with. Finding other ways to cope is a part of the journey. Most of us struggle at some point. It matters not how many times we slip but keeping that desire not to gamble anymore is key. Onwards to better times. Warm regards... S.A 🙂

Hey Charlotte

i think you have done the right thing in cutting ties with your ex.

.

Sometimes if you are so familiar with someone it can feel too enmeshed and stuck in a cycle usually guilt driven.

For your own recovery you have to put you and Maddison always as a first priority.

You have pobably have seen on others diaries stuff i've written on Higher Powers...just wanted to say your ex also has one too and maybe he needs to start his journey and face himself as you have had the courage to do..

You said in your post hun that your head and your heart are torn...I shall stick my neck out on this one but keep going with your head ...: ).

It's just a suggestion Charlotte ...but one made with the best intent and based on wisdom to know the difference.

R and D xx