I hope this is it

pal forget your losses treat them like a hard lesson , i lost 43000 in about 18 months again alot from savings , i still annoyed at myself abit , but wha this whole experience has taught me is , money dont make you happy , now you may think i would say that as i lost but no its taught me theres more important things in life , yes money will make life a little easier but it will not give us happiness.

Aswell as forgetting your losses my advice would be self exclude self exclude self exclude, from every online site casino and bookies , there is no shame in doing this , you need to maybe if you think you cannot stop yourself hand over your cards to your wife/husband or mom or dad and something somebody else on here has done is set up a direct debit going straight into there mom or dads bank account and then asking for money when they need it and maybe letting parents pay bills out of it , then there is no way to get money to gamble , only carry a small amount of cash with you , fill your time with other stuff running , swimming family time whatever , we cannot gamble because we cannot stop so there is no point in starting , i will not be a victim to this addiction so dont you be , whatever you must self exclude and now before urges come . Also when you get an urge to gamble think of your last loss or biggest loss and remember how you felt, that always puts me off gambling again , and dont get me wrong i have come close , but thinking of that has always stopped me gambling again, also keep on this diary every day posting on your diary and others and also read loads of other diaries it really really will help you stop it will open your eyes , i have only gone about 4 weeks so i am still only taking it at a day at a time , thanks simon

Day 3 today and feeling a bit better although just so sick about my behaviour in general. I need to be honest with myself and say that in truth my actions over the past few years have been hugely irresponsible and damaging. I have brought my family, my career and my business to the very edge of destruction. I need to stay strong,focus on real hard work to earn money and hope the bank stays with me and I might get through this mess. Good luck to everyone dealing with the same problems today. By the way, I have no urge to Gamble at present, but it is early days.

Hi

well done on making it through the first couple of days. They are always the hardest. I've blown a lot of money on online poker over the last decade. Although there is some skill involved a lot of the time it's just down to luck. I've had some sickening river cards in my time and I swear the sites are rigged to get you to go all in more.

Very very few people can make a living out of poker. It's not worth the roller-coaster ride which inevitable ends badly. Try not to think about the money. most of the time It's just digits on a screen. I know it's a cliché but the best things in life are free. Try and stay in the present moment.

Blocks are very important, if you haven't already got one I recommend K9 for your pc. You can beat this. Never give up on giving up. Wishing you all the best in your recovery.

lots of help out there and in here

counselling, gamcare, group support

I've been reading other diaries and share so much with so many. The lies, the deceit, the gross irrational and irresponsible behaviour. Amway, now in day 5 and feeling a little better but the danger of a complete financial collapse remains, particularly as I have effectively funded my poker habit from business profits and my savings. It is so true that the more in debt you get the more you tend to gamble and this is a "disease" that effects all sections of society. I wonder how many of my "sensible" friends are possibly in the same situation ? Anyway, I have no urge to gamble and I think I am self excluded from 99% of poker sites.

Day 6 and no real desire to gamble. I was thinking about the whole thing last night in bed. I have always been a full on character, but it was only playing online poker where i seemed to lose full control. I could go to the horse racing, for example, with mates and allow myself £50 or £100 in bets over the afternoon, but I would never feel the need to bet compulsively or try a lunatic bet to recover losses. But Poker was nuts. I lost control as soon as I was down. I thought I could win every time but I know now that every bet or hand I played, I was losing....not just cash, but my life. I feel so much better without Poker..but its only day 6. Ive got to keep going.

Day 10 Poker free and how different it feels. Money is very tight but at least I have some! This is going to take some time but I have no urge to try and play poker thank god. But I have been here before. I must, must stay strong. I think I am going to buy a bike and start cycling ! Good luck to everyone battling through today.

Alfredo,

nothing like scooping those big pots when the poker godz are with us right. Oh how i love to sit and play poker all day all night and love those hot runs. This game was by far the biggest money loser for me. I want you to remember that last river card where if only he didn't get lucky and hit his flush you would of had a nice bank roll. Forget it it's gone never coming back. Every time i feel like playing poker i just think about how many times the websites are cheating and people see our hole cards, We cannot be sure it's not happening just like Ultimate Bet scandal. So think like me everyone is cheating you.

Best of luck on your journey.

CasinoRoyaLoser.