good Hi everyone !
You could probably all guess why I'm here. I finally admitted that I have a gambling problem / addiction . I can confidently say I'm a compulsive gambler . Having a good job as a physiotherapist with a wife and a little boy (15 months old ) I don't know why I still get demonise by online gambling ! It all started when my nan died 5 years ago and the worst part of it was I won 3 grand that year by playing online poker then got too greedy and lost it all the next year ! Plus I lost another grand which hurt me and made me realise I've got to stop !
then I manage to stop between 2014-2015 as got married and just did not have any interest with anything to do with gambling!
then last year I got really bored one night and stated gambling again ! And found online casino ( roullete ) much more interesting than poker cause I can just win money within seconds ! Little that I know I took out hard earned money within seconds too and lost 2 grand :(.
This year I lost 2 grand in January which my wife is aware of as she knew I've been working very hard and on the beginning of this month I've lost an extra 3 grand whilst the OH is on a night shift ! She doesn't know the last loss and I'm sick to my stomach and disappointed , disgusted of myself ! I felt that I let my wife and son down..
Luckily we're not in debt .. what I'm scared of is we have a big savings of 45grand which could go if I haven't stopped .. so I made my decision of joining gamcare and updating you guys with my progress ..
Currently I'm 15 days Gf! I've already learnt to do it ONE DAY AT A TIME!
Hey buddy. Glad you've started a diary. Will look forward to following your journey. Best wishes, Phil.
Inspirational post. I'm in a similar boat. Relapse into gambling, young family. Good luck buddy.
Tell your wife and get her to take control of the finances. Get her to put the savings where you can't touch them. Once you've done that get other practical barriers into place so you can't act on a whim, book counselling (Gamcare offer free sessions) and find your nearest GA meeting. You will need to identify and address whatever is driving the compulsion.
Day 16
Still GF ! And still feeling quite low thinking of my last relapse which has not been kind to me 🙁 . Need to fight this addiction ! And I'm determined to beat it one day at a time .... I don't deserve a Father's Day appreciation from my family as I have been bad to them 🙁
@phil thanks buddy !
@ burka thank you buddy I hope you're recovering well too..
@lethe thank you for the advice .. I'm still scared of telling her my last relapse but I evently let her know .. about our finances I already told the bank and I have excluded my account on almost all the online sites and installed blockers in place ..
Day 17
Today is by far the hardest day of my recovery .. I cant understand why I just burst into tears after I picked up my wife from work doing night shifts .. (she's a nurse)
I think I'm feeling rather guilty gambling away our hard earned money .. she's due to be back for another 6 nights and I just can't hold the tears from my eyes ... I'm not normally fragile but today every single little things weakens me 🙁 ..
I feel lonely and hurt .. but still fighting strong to remain gamble free .
Sars
Hi Sars27
So sorry you're feeling so bad atm. You're definitely not alone cos we are here for you.
Why don't you have an online chat with one of the advisers on here? Think it's called Netline.
Or get your self one of those kiddies blowy up punch weighted bag characters, call it online gambling or something n punch seven bells out of it. Anything to lighten your mood.
Be kind to yourself x
Day 18
Feeling a bit better than yesterday and still gambling free !
@ magsy thank you very much that means a lot .. I think I'll just go to the gym more frequently and release all the tension by getting fitter 🙂 I hope you're well ..
Hi Sars. Remember there is a lot of support available - GamCare counselling, GamCare Netline, ACT, GA and of course the chatroom. Cheers, Phil.
Cheers Phil . See you tomorrow on the chatroom 🙂
Going to give the chatroom a go tonight 🙂 Cheers
Hi Sars, hope you're good mate.
Yes going to the gym more often is what I'm doing too. And running. It gives my mind something else to focus on other than gambling.
Keep smashing those days bud!
@craigy cool! I hope you found the chat room friendly & helpful !
@moorey for sure buddy gym is better I'd rather max out in gym than max my credit cards out like what I use to do lol !
Stay GF EVERYONE ! and thanks for all the support
Hello Sars,
well done on your progress thus far. I too started gambling after a bereavement, in fact, it was the very night I heard about the death. I have deluded myself with much magical thinking during late nights of gambling since. You done well to tell your wife, that must have taken a lot of courage.
@ lights out thank you ! The most recent relapse I haven't told her yet but I will in time ! Keep up the good work yourself ! Day 19 still gamble free !
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