i want to do this

Hi Miss M...you can get a grip of things, but sounds as though you have issues to work through. Have you contacted Gamcare, they can arrange free counselling. You sound a smart cookie; you can do this, you can turn life around for you and your kids, and if it is what you want and your partner wants, get your relationship back on track. Whilst we gamble, we cut ourselves off from people who care.

Thanks Rhoda for your reply... it is much appreciated. I do understand my gambling is an emotional response to things I have not dealt with. Problem comes from not knowing how to deal with them and finding an appropriate coping mechanism when I am stressed. I have had counselling in past and I do suffer from mental health issues. Im not sure if gambling is a result or a cause tbh. Yes I have isolated myself from a lot of people, almost blaming them for my actions. But I cant continue on this merry go round of gambling, quitting, starting, quitting. I hate what Ive become and I want an end to this cycle.

Hi Miss, good to hear from you and I can totally relate to your story and especially not knowing whether gambling is a cause or result of mental health issues. I'd agree with Rhoda, that counselling will be a huge step in your recovery - you clearly have a lot going on and speaking to someone about it all will help. Sometimes, it's something that you think you've dealt with that is still lurking and causing part of the problem.

Is there anyway you can take away part of the cycle i.e. money, time and opportunity? Could someone perhaps look after your bank cards, or can you put a block on your devices to stop access to the gambling sites? The block has been a God send for me!

Keep posting and I'll be looking out for you.

GT x

Thank you Getting there for your response. Yes i could put a block on my devices and I could just keep enough money to cover direct debits in bank, these are all options. I had told my partner about 2 years ago and while he was very supportive and, he left me off at GA meetings and took money off me, he started to trust me again and believed my lies.. thats all I could call them. I dont gamble regularly, more of a binge gambler, results are still same. What I do need to do differently this time is address the reasons for gambling cos I think no matter how many blocks and self-exclusions are in place, the symptoms are only being dealt with, not the cause. Possibly GA again, no matter how painful to bare my soul and counselling may help. Anyway 2 days but whose counting

Hi everyone, its been a while since I posted anything. I'm not doing great. Gambled everything I had last night. Feel sick and as if im losing my mind. I am so unhappy deep down and I don't know how to address it. Been with doctors who gave me pills and referred me to CBT. I may go to that now after saying I wouldn't. I'm doing a professional degree, have 2 kids one who is being referred to ASD services, my partner and older child hate each other, I have no social support. I feel very isolated at minute. I can barely concentrate. It's all a mess. I just needed to write it down.

That is the Gambling Mind for you, when your low it will get you depositing like crazy as you hunt down those big wins to end all the debt, go on holidays, nice things. But you wake up thinking "What have I done" and with all that stress it wont help you get that degree. Find what works for you, everyone is different but find a way, you have to stop gambling, email all casinos saying you want to self exclude, sounds like you have enough going on without gambling. Focus on what makes you happy and find your way and stick to it. Good Luck Miss M.

Thanks for your reply. I am in a brain fog at the minute. I will have to put one foot in front of the other just to get the day in. My life is utter chaos. Yes things need to change as of now. I can't go on feeling like this.

Stay strong Miss M I am also trying to beat this. One day at a time.

Gambling offers an escape when things are bad but it can never last...it's an illusion for us compulsive gamblers. If you can make it through 1 day no gambling then at least you can say, no matter how bad the day got, "I didn't gamble today" and be proud of it

Wishing you all the best in recovery

4D

Thank you for replying. I know I am a horrible person when I have my gambling head on. I don't think of the repercussions on my kids. My partner and I are almost finished due to bickering not related to gambling. I think I may be in a better place without him. I need to be more assertive and do what's right for me not everyone else. Being a people pleaser has got me to this point and left me with bitterness and frustration. Things must go

I am a binghing slot gambler, when gambling my life is in chaos, I hate myself as I throw away money whilst watching my partner struggle to pay bills. I then work overtime to try and loose the guilt. I have in the past been put on anxiety tablets, but the truth is my anger stems from gambling what I don't have. I think so both need to learn to be good to ourselves. Everyday gamble free is a day of peace

Thanks Katie yes I understand where you are coming from. I'm a binge gambler on online slots. Can go for months without but then hit them hard. Results are still same. That's for last 10 years back and forward. Used to be smaller amounts but now I've totally destroyed my finances for next 2 months. Note to self: wise up. Money's gone.

Checking in day 4. I'm so much happier when not staring at a screen. Whole life changes ahead.

Hi Miss M,

Just read your post and am glad to see that you re tackling this, like you (and many others) i suffer from mental health issues and wonder whether this is the cause or effect. I am on day 2 today so we are at a similar stage! How about we do this together and keep eachother motivated but just one day at a time? We have so much to gain and nothing to lose.

Enjoy your weekend.

Athena

Thanks Athena for your lovely comment. I have had mental health issues for longer than I have been gambling. However it makes it so much worse. Now is the time to focus on us x