I want to make this happen

Once again I have relapsed but I know last time it helped writing on here and reading other stories .as I have said before I fear telling anyone after reading stories of other halves not understanding I have to do it alone

Day one after being burnt and really feeling down after few big tennis bets messed me up I'm determined to mend again

Hi christer..thanks for popping over to my diary...
I've took a quick look at yours ..
And yes....you to could have my strength....if you set up some barriers to stop you gambling in the early days...no...it's not easy....but trust me it's a fight well worth fighting.....the alternative...a life full of sadness and isolation....give the helpline a call....chat one to one for help and support....I did...best thing I done...good luck x

thankyou yes i will do that and yes barriers are a very good idea its like now last couple of days i stupidly chased some losses and now all i feel is horrible but yes i agree with what you said thankyou for advise

#31 - strange, people who tell their OHs almost always vouch for it being a good decision. A surprising amount come clean and get support. Some don't but feel the sweet relief of not leading a lie and being able to build from the bottom up.

Are you imagining things to justify secrecy. Or am I imagining things. Pretty sure I'm not - I really don't see any people regretting coming clean.

Louis

ones i see are there current wifes sayinghes gone to far and want to see what they can do to help for their children also live in fear cause few yrs ago i admitted online betting and she blew her lid

so im not imagining things thankyou

I am like urself, I what to quit, and I don't want anyone to know about my issues. So I understand the need to want to keep it hush hush.

Truth is I have read your diary and you are going around in circles. We have all been there. You need some blocks in place, even if you don't wanna tell people you need blocks. Self exclude from as many online sites as possible. And betting shops. Why not get a joint bank account with the wife. Then you know you can't gamble as she will find out? You are not telling her but at the same time she is able to track your spending. Something to think about??

I wish you all the best, I really do. It will only get worse if you continue and you will be praying that you stopped now!! Take if from me as people told me the very same advice years ago. I didn't listen and they where right!

If you're scared of a boll o king, ok. But what do you expect if you s P unk all the money away?

end of the day you need to man up and take some responsibility here

yeh once again cardhue not good advice and split thankyou yes your right i do need blocks and yes been going round in circles will be my job in morning and yes i think joint accounts is good idea i will look into it

Personally I think joint accounts are only a good idea if they are joint signatories, otherwise if just you can take money out of it, then it could be closing the stable door after the horse has bolted if you decide to do something rash. Thing about it from your OH's perspective. They need to protect themselves and the family from your destruction, so giving a route to their money via a joint account, I think, is a very bad idea. I know some people feel the fact they'd have to 'fess up if a line on the statement showed they'd been at it, is enough to stop them. But what if it isn't and you act on an urge? By then it'd be too late. What you can do with various accounts is set up alerts. I have an account with a large bank named after a city in Spain begining with 'S' (who took over Alliance and Leicester and others here in the UK). It's a basic bank account with a seperate top-up debit card. I have configured alerts to send SMS messages to my wife's phone any time there is a debit of over £50. That way, she's got to know about it instantly it happens and can call me to confirm what it was. They *may* offer that facility for joint accounts? However, if you're like me your credit rating will be very poor and a joint account will link your finances and stuff up your OH's too.

Remember that getting burnt feeling and bottle it up. My gambling time was evenings, to escape after work, sitting all hours into the middle of the night depositing and chasing. My cards are now locked away upstairs in a money tin. This means I can't deposit at night time or I would wake up my husband in the process of digging about for my tin. I allow myself my cards for online purchases only or spare money from the tin to shop with. No more willy-nilly gambling spends to credit cards. The calm feels great.

I must admit whatami I've always thought same bout joint acounts and that is why I'm hesident to try it .my blocks will be on betting shops there my worst enemy as I've excluded from all online anyway I have one plus if there is a plus I never use casino fobt machines it's sport betting I'm bad with.i work nights and my worst time is beginning and after work so I will top up a gift card and leave my bank card at home

Day two and feel good as not touched or been near bookie and self excluded again

Keep it up fella,

I must admit whatami I didn't think of that. I am sorry if I have given the wrong advice... As indeed I do now see how a joint account could be a bad thing. Brillant idea about the bank cards.

I just wanted to add, excluding from the bookies and online sites is one thing. But I am living proof that those actions alone or not enough! There's always another website you haven't excluded from. Or a betting shop in a different part of town.

Please fella get some blocks in place now!!! Like literally NOW!!! You need to otherwise you will be back on here telling us all about ur losses.

I used to get a lot of payday loans to fund my addiction when I had no money. Did you know you can ring them up, explain you are a gambler and they will put you on the do not lend list. Mbna and Barclays did the same with my credit cards too. Unfortunately it was too little to late for me!