Hi all
New diary, new name, same goal.
I posted at the end of my last diary how I'm taking a slightly new approach and this doesn't just mean to my gambling recovery but my life as a whole. A lot has been going on and I've struggled and am still struggling but for now I'm working on things with a more positive outlook looking to solve the troubles rather than be consumed by them or run away from them.
This is a diary for me, to keep me on the right path, help me stay off gambling and keep my life moving forward, I could mention all the pain of the past but its not worth going into, I know the pain of gambling and I know I can change my life and make it 100 times better by simply not gambling. That's my plan and has been for a while. I have some other things I'll be changing and working on in my life and this marks the next step, really walking away from gambling, realising it brings me nothing but despair.
I have a little girl of 17 months and a wife who I have been with for 11 years. I don't want to lose them. I have a loving family and have good support, unfortunately sometimes I forgot that. I can be a bit of a control freak and take on more than I should in all aspects of my life and sometimes I need the support and need to accept that support.
I have this new dairy and I have a calendar that I'll be crossing off daily to keep my focus. I will have my daily count and a count down.
My day count is 715 and 1094 to go. The count down started yesterday and its 3 years, as I estimate it'll be thee years when I can truly say my gambling debt is gone, I may still have some debt but it'll be because of normal life costs and I'm happy that if I get to count down to zero with no more gambling spend I can say I've done it, I've changed my life, I haven't let my family down and I'm in a much better position for it.
So as the diary days I will not let my family down and I will not let myself down.
Day 715, 1094 to go.
Thanks for sharing this. As you said once we stay away from gambling we do realise how blind we were and how much we start to love ourselves and our family . You seem to have a beautiful family and concentrating all your energy on them will keep you away from gambling. Just be aware that it’s a constant battle , some days a worse than others but it can be done . I wish you and your family the very best
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