I'm gonna beat this!

Came here to give you a big hug

Hi pinky

Very well done on day 8

You are doing well keep going forward and abstaining and your life will start to come together how you want it which is a good life where gambling has no part in it

A happy family life does not mix with gambling

Take care

Suzanne x

Thanks xxx

Feeling better 🙂

Woken up today feeling good. Finally!!! So happy the low mood has lifted. Feeling much more like my usual happy self. Today is going to be a great day 🙂 x

Thanks for posting on my diary, think positive you can beat this and long May your good mood continue.

Shaun

Cheers.

I'm excited about the weekend. I'm off to see my partner (haven't seen him all week) and get some well needed hugs 🙂

Have a great weekend everyone! I'll be checking in next week, if not before 🙂

Day 15

Hello diary.

Had a fab weekend with the fella, probably ate and drank way too much 😀 😀

Started today feeling a little low. I think partly due to getting a credit card statement yesterday reminding me of the debt mountain I'm climbing, and perhaps some is due to the excessive weekend wine 😮 getting back to reality after a weekend of refreshing fun 🙂

I've decided to enjoy today regardless. It's up to me how I choose to feel. I've allowed myself to wallow in bouts of depression for far too long. No more!

Have a happy day!!!

Pinky x

Day 20

Having a weak moment.

I've blocked all gambling via cards yet this evening after afew wines I found myself wondering if I could depo anywhere via PayPal, and considered searching for such a site. I'm bored, tipsy, a tad lonely and a bit low. All the triggers which I know drive me towards gambling. Id decided to come here instead, but even as I type temptation tries to cut in :-(( I don't like it.

Day 22

Had a better couple of days.

Enjoyed today at work, it was the smallest charge's 2nd birthday, so I had fun spoiling him a tad 🙂

No further gambling urges after the weekend.

Looking forward to an evening with the fella tomorrow x

Hi pinky

Well done on resisting a weak moment it shows you are determined to have a better life without gambling

Keep strong and keep going forwards

Suzanne x

Thanks Suzanne 🙂

Day 28

I seem to not care about gambling at the moment, which is great. I remember a time when the thought of never being able to gamble again scared me 😮

It's still early days yet, but I have confidence in succeeding.

Having a boring day at work. A nanny with no children. What am I to do? Lol. I tried helping out on school this morning, but that turned out to be a load of filing of children's' work and sharpening about 200 pencils! I left at lunch and did some laundry & cooking for my employers & children instead.

School run time now, so I'd better get my backside into gear 😀

Day 31

I've popped in because an ad for a well known site I used to really enjoy (before banning myself!) came up while I was browsing FB and took me by surprise. I missed it. Ro really felt a sense of loss there. Needless to say I clicked to choose not to see future ads of this nature. But I have a pang of sadness.

Must remember how much I hate what gambling does to me and my life!

Now onto brighter better thoughts. It's my last day of the working week today as I'm having a nice weekend away with the finace. Wooohooooo 😀

Day 42

It's the summer hols, so my job as nanny has been a little more hectic than usual - but that's good because I enjoy being busy. Eg, today with my usual charges plus friends we have eight children in the house. It's a miracle I've got two minutes to type this! Lol, they all have an elaborate game going on in the garden, so this is one of those rare moments I get to sit back and simply supervise ;-D

Had a great weekend - I managed to be out socialising Thurs,Fri,Sat & Sun - which is something I've not done for quite some time. I've had lots of fun with friends - brill!

The subject of gambling came up, where some friends of friends went over to the bookies, and there was talk of going along to a casino - I went quiet thinking 'no, no no, please don't go!'

But my two bestie mates were out with me and they know all about my little situation and would have supported me and avoided the casino with me 🙂 In the end we moved along to another pub instead, so the situation was avoided, yeay 🙂

Right, I can see a disagreement brewing between a couple of the elder children - I need to get back in there 😀

Bye for now!

Day 49

Ooh, approaching the 50 say mark, woohoo 🙂

I've had a great week. A nice surprise on Friday that I've got two weeks off work as of today. I thought I only had the one week off next week 😀 😀

My fiance is working most of this week, but has some time off next week - I'm looking forward to having the chance to spend some quality time together and enjoy the summer time 🙂

I'm a little fed up about being skint. It'd be so nice to be able to afford to go out more during my hols. Trying to remember that the day will arrive when I've climbed over that debt mountain and that'll be possible.

Had my hopes up for a lil council flat as when I placed my 'bid' there were 0 people above me. Thought I was in for a chance. Just had a look online and I'm now 12th in the queue. Tut... I've had my name down for a council place since I was 18. I'm now 34. Ridiculous. Sometimes I feel I made a mistake deciding to work full time. I might have been better off popping out a coupla kids and living off benefits instead lol, at least I'd have a home(!) 😀

Anyways, back to enjoying my free time and being HAPPY!!

Until next time dear diary x

Day 58

Just checked my queue position for that flat. I'm now 22nd in line. Mad!

Apart from being fed up about the council housing system I'm doing well.

Had urges to gamble last night but didn't act upon them. I've made it difficult to be able to, but it was the thought of having to explain myself and knowing how much I'd be letting down those close to me, which put me off the idea.

This weeks news - I forwarded an email to my partner of an application to be a contestant on Tipping Point, joking that he should go on and win us some wedding funds.

Turns out he actually did apply and has gone through a couple of phone interview bits and pieces and has made it through to the final audition tomorrow. Exciting 😀 Lol.

What else is going on?

Of course. It's almost my birthdayyyyyyy! So we're having a pre birthday BBQ tomorrow. I'm looking forward to a lovely evening with my friends.

I think that's about everything.

Wishing all love & light.

Take care, & bye for now 😉