It's now or never!... 13th May 2018

Day 2

Had a good nights sleep last night. Up and about at 6:30 this morning. I have Classic FM on the radio as I get ready for work. I’m feeling in the mood for another positive day. Day 1 consisted of no gambling, no junk food and a 5km run.

All in all I felt a lot more relaxed and have woken up feeling more positive this morning.

Let’s see what Day 2 has in store. Set to be another lovely, sunny day so will try and go for another run later on.

Let’s do this!

Day 2

Another 5km run completed this afternoon after work.

Felt much happier in myself today. It’s still very early days but the temptation to gamble is non existent.

I’m looking forward to another relaxing night. I know there’ll be tougher days ahead but for now I’m just going to enjoy this one.

I’m ending my 2nd gamble free day by watching Rocky Balboa in bed on my iPad.

Simple pleasures 🙂

Well done Dan, great to see things are going well. Exercise is as good for the brain as it is for the body.

Keep up the great work buddy

Day 3

I’ve noticed that I’ve been sleeping MUCH better these last couple of nights which has been a welcome relief.

Another day ahead. Another day where I won’t gamble.

I’ve seen the long range weather forecast and it looks pretty good! So that excites me and puts me in good spirits. Rain today though.

Just having a morning ramble before I head off to work.

Have a good day everyone. Stay gamble free.

Having watched Rocky Balboa last night, I have watched Sylvester Stallone’s inspirational speech several times since.

“It’s not about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit!”....

It might sound daft but it serves a reminder that life is **** at times, but it’s about fighting past that and coming out an eventual winner.

Maybe it’s me talking rubbish but it has helped me this morning 🙂

******** When the going gets tough - the tough get going ********

Dan the man is in a determined mood. He has come to realise that he has what it takes to face up to and overcome the challenges he must face.

Within him lives Dynamite Dan. A steely character who is capable of standing up to the insidious addiction that has caused him so much grief.

Dan's face is set in a defiant smile, courage and valour accompany him on this glorious quest.

Rock on my friend, we are many of us by your side, ready and willing to be free from tyranny...stephen

Hi Dan,

Thanks for sharing you stories. Since your last post, how have you kept yourself busy from gambling. I am trying to find a way to control the mind, I can’t shake of the feeling, constantly thinking, just maybe I can win back something tonight to cover back some of my loses. Not all just some!

Hi 3CP, I have tried to adjust my lifestyle slightly by allowing myself to relax more often.

First and foremost you need to totally let go of your previous losses. It’s done, it’s happened. You can’t change the outcome of the past BUT you can change what’s to come.

I’ve set myself some challenging goals to focus my mind on over the coming months.

I worked out the reasons why I gamble (stress and anxiety) and I’ve tried to tackle those issues rather than gambling itself.

I now wake up every morning to Classic FM. I log onto here to read a few diaries before I head off to work.

I’ve started running again to try and get fit and to lose some weight.

I’ve decided that instead of concentrating intensely on gambling, I’m going to focus my energy on looking after myself.

I want to take pride in my appearance again and to do that, I have to stop gambling.

Gambling only leads to misery. The more you gamble, the more you lose.

If you were to chase your losses, you’ll end up losing more and more. The only factor being how long it would take you to lose more.

Every night before I go to sleep, I’ll read a few diaries on here and then pat myself on the back for making it through the day without gambling.

Urges will come and go. Anyone in the process of recovery would be lying through their teeth if they said otherwise. What you’re experiencing is completely natural. But it’s important to remind yourself why you posted on here in the first place. Gambling creates misery.

When the urges come, log onto here and read a few diaries.

A brighter future is their for the taking mate. It’s all in your hands.

The very best of luck.

Dan

Hi determinedDan...I absoutely agree with you...focus on fixing the reason why you gamble rather than the gambling. I have been doing the same...and it works better for me also. At the beginning I think I was too focused on stopping gambling rather than dealing with the real issues. Having all the blocks in place is great at the beginning and absoutely necessary whilst going through the withdrwal process...but after that its your mind you need to work on. Great post..thank you.

Day 4

My newfound lifestyle is currently working for me. I’m far less stressed about things and I’m sleeping much better at night.

The urges do keep popping up every now and again but I remind myself of how I felt last Sunday and that urge quickly turns to a sickening feeling.

Life in general is far more peaceful when gambling isn’t involved. You begin to see life clearer and take notice of things that you’d otherwise miss.

I enjoy seeing the days stack up against my name. Every day I wake up feeling prouder and ‘cleaner’ of being gamble free.

I enjoy that feeling far better than worrying about a bet or about how I’m going to attempt to chase my losses. It just isn’t worth it.

Life has far more meaningful things in it than gambling.

Day 4

As the fourth day draws to a close, I’m looking back as to how I find myself in this position again.

In some ways it’s very frustrating because I never allow myself to get into a situation where I spend money that isn’t mine. Applying for loans, borrowing money from friends etc isn’t what I do. I don’t even gamble until every last penny has gone.

I seem to gamble several hundreds in one go, leaving myself with a few hundred left before I eventually stop.

Almost like I go into panic mode when I’m down to my last few hundred so I stop.

Every time I get myself to a place of financial comfort, I seem to shoot myself in the foot.

Thankfully, I’m not somebody who has amounted any debt and I won’t be paying back debts for months/years to come.

But it’s frustrating that I have the willpower to stop just before losing everything, yet I don’t seem to have the willpower to not start in the first place.

I know there are people in much worse situations than me and I apologise for having a little rant about it tonight as you lot could be thinking how lucky I am not to have any debt in the first place.

Anyway, I’m just having a little Thursday night moan to myself.

Still have no urges.

I think the blocks I have in place and the mindset I’m taking towards the whole recovery will stand me in good stead. Much more so than previous attempts.

Hi Dan, I know exactly where you’re coming from.

I did the same. As soon as I started getting a bit flush, that would be the trigger point. Then I would go into full on gamble mode until I’d spent that money, a bit more on top and then a bit more again. But I’d always stop before I went too deep. Bad, really really bad at times, but always recoverable.

I have over £50k of debt as a direct result of the past few years of this stupid addiction but earn very good money, so I do count myself lucky in that respect.

However, that is a bit of a double edged sword as I always wondered, would I be capable of the ‘big one’. Where in a moment of total madness, I completely took leave of my senses and lost an irrecoverable amount. I do have full access to a stupid amount of liquidity at all times. The house, my business, followed by my family and everything else. Gone in a few minutes of doubling up chasing losses. Scary stuff.

Day 5

Yes, I’m the same ukds!

I get scared that one day, I’ll surpass my previous binges and do some serious financial damage in a moment of madness. I’m hoping it never goes that far though and I nip it in the bud here and now.

Friday is here!...

It’s sunny outside and I’m currently free from gambling. Life can’t really get much better than that. Or so it feels 🙂

Another day safely negoitated.

Going to have a peaceful (naughty) and relaxing Friday night. Pizza and chocolate.

High five to all who have stayed gamble free today 🙂