Its time

Thanks ODAAT, I have chosen to stop, everything else I do is to help me, LiMiT is a great tool and continues as an insurance. My strength and resolve are increasing as I progress, I do not want to waste my efforts so far but equally as important, I want people who read my dairy (including me) to see that it can be done, this will provide balance to those who are continually being bitten by the beast.

Today is going to be a good day, I hope it is for others too.

At what point do I say that I am an ex-gambler rather then a compulsive gambler? I am not precious about what I am referred to as but it got me thinking about goals. We all know that gambling hits us in many ways and we will happily set a goal in terms of time of abstenance or financial benefit. I have decided that whilst important, neither of those really give me a feeling of success, neither are outcomes to aspire to. I stopped smoking many times and remember that everyone wanted to know when I had had my last f*g. I noticed that this was the constant question until there came a point where no-one was interested, at this point I was recognised as an ex smoker (haven't smoked for 5 years). My normal position now is not to smoke and it would be out of character to smoke (people would be very shocked and surprised). How do I reflect this in my gambling journey? At what point does it become more of an event for me to gamble than not? Will I ever be an ex gambler or will I always be a compulsive gambler who hasn't gambled for x days? I realise that with smoking and gambling I am always only 1 f*g or 1 bet away from relapse but I have decided that my goal is to be an ex-gambler and I will continue my diary and GA attendance until the point where I can decalre, "I am an ex-gambler". Some may not agree that this is ever achievable but it is important that i achieve this level of unconcious competence. This is some way off but it means that I will no longer reflect my journey in terms of numbers but will measure my success on how comfortable I am with myself. Today is therefore not only day 62, but a time when I am also a little bit closer to being an ex gambler.

Whilst I am waffling, there is another point, when I "tried" to stop smoking, every time I fell off the wagon it was a bit of a joke, quite interesting when you consider the long term health impact of smoking (it kills you). I don't get the feeling that I would get the same reaction if I fell off the no gambling wagon, I am positive that the reaction to that would be far worse...

Anyway, today was a great day as will tomorrow be. I hope it is good for you too.

All is good. Another day where I chose not to gamble..... no, thats not true, a day when I didn't have to make that choice because it didn't even cross my mind.

Looking forward to tomorrow which will be a great day. I hope it is for us all.

Good day today and attended GA meeting this evening which had record attendance. One of the group made a re

ally valuable observation. The forums on here and attendance at GA meetings has increased significantly recently. Despite everyones opinion that Britain at the bookies is purely propaganda, maybe, just maybe it has helped people understand that they have a problem and nudged them to get some suoport. Makes you think doesn't it.

On that note, I have had enough of people blaming the gambling

industry for MY addiction, I cannot change what they do but with lots if effort, I have the ability to control what I do.

Tomorrow is going to be a great day!

Great weekend of golf and family. Nothing really to report. I genuinely have not thought about gambling over the last 4 days and I am only checking into my diary in case I ever need to remind myself that my world is a better place when gambling isn't in it!

This week is going to be great, I hope it is for everyone.

Just a quick check in as I have been too busy with work and i am away at the moment. Everything is good and looking forward to a great day. Will hopefully catch up on others diaries at the weekend.

Well, it's the end of another gamble free day and all is good. I now often have days when I don't even think about gambling indeed the only reason I am posting is because I was searching for something on my phone and this page game up as recently visited! Really happy to say that tomorrow will be a great day spent part on the golf course and part with my family. Starting to feel like I am in control but I know I am still only one bad decision away from wasting 12 weeks of abstinence. Hope everyone else is doing well and this selfish post is for me to read if I ever need to remind myself how strong I can be.

All is well. Keep forgetting to update and that I am in recovery as I keep forgetting that I ever gambled. Maybe I should feel more angry but in honesty my GF life is busy enough so I don't waste time dwelling on the past. Tomorrow is going to be a great day, I hope it is for you too.

Very close to 100 days and all is good in my world.

Only concern is that i was reviewing the diaries where I have made posts over the last 3 months and nearly all have not posted or not updated their doaries for many weeks! Hope everyone is ok and staying strong.

Today is going to be a great day, I hope it is for you too.

In London for a few days and in a hotel surrounded by bookies and arcades but that's how it is, I cannot control that!

All is well in my world and have passed through 100 days sometime last week but I am still only one bad decision away for ruining my efforts so far. Today is going to be a good day and I hope it is for you too.

Yesterday I had a bit of spare time and stopped at a motorway services. I went for a pee and then stood in the gaming area. I had no intention of gambling and stood there for a minute and watched those around me play the machines. I had a tremendous feeling of relief as I had no desire to gamble and found myself internally laughing, i felt delighted that i found it easy to walk away. I do not feel complacent but I do feel stronger! Now I am a little confused as to why i had even wanted to go into the gaming area and wonder if I was testing myself in some way. I shared my experience with others and was told that I must not "test" myself. In fact it was suggested that I was being a little flippant, as if I was "playing a game". Has anyone else had experience this as part of their journey, is it better to go through life avoiding every opportunity to gamble or is it better to learn to resist the opportunity as it arises? I always try to remove points of the locations, money, time triangle but cannot expect to spend the rest f my life avoiding EVERY opportunity to gamble. I do not understand however why I chose to go into the gaming area and spend a moment watching.. The good news is that I was strong and I chose not to gamble so I look on it as another part of my journey. It was a good day and tomorrow will be the same.

Interesting question, you can't avoid seeing the places @ the services but until now I have scuttled on by with nothing more than a sideways glance @ them. The other day however, I actually noticed a particular game advertised & even stared momentarily @ one of the machines. It kind of felt like I was laughing in the face of Mr Gamble. My urges are nil @ the moment but I will not get complacent - if I had a nut allergy I would not eat nuts, that doesn't mean I could avoid seeing them. Obviously this is slightly different as you went in but I wouldn't be put off eating in a pub with a machine! I think choosing no is more important than trying to avoid all opportunity because then when you come face to face with it it doesn't catch you out!

Whatever you decide, staying away from that 1st bet will keep you safe - ODAAT

Thanks ODAAT, I feel more in control than I ever have and now feel able to take the step of allowing myself to be near to gambling. Like you I have no urges and hadnt even thought about any form of gambling for some days prior to my visit. As I have been travelling around I have walked past many bookies and as I am away I have had money and time however I have never even considered walking into a bookies and observing. I like your phrase if laughing in the face of Mr gamble ... But, I still take him very seriously and will ensure I manage my recovery carefully.

today is going to be a good day, I hope it is for you too.

Hi sbiss,

My vice is/was online slots at home anywhere in the house and garden, in fact anywhere I could play 0(( so my gambling environment is around me 24/7, I don't think it's possible for us to go through life erasing the location, but as long as we have one piece of the triangle broken, we can't play if the urge arises, the location to gamble is everywhere, in our high streets, on our phones, television, etc etc,

It's ok to look back at times as long as we don't stare ( Quote from Ade)

You do too right to take this addiction seriously,

Well done on 115 days, of putting recovery first and winning.

Keep strong with guard up

Suzanne xx

Another great day with no thoughts of gambling. Out tonight to enjoy some time with my wife and have a meal and a beer or two. Looking forward to reaching 1/3rd of a year gamble free next week!