It’s time for change….

I made it. A month gf!

Money still in the bank from payday after paying all my bills. 

Im doing really well…and to think, this is how I would have been living if I never got sucked into online slots. Y do we do it to ourselves?? It’s madness!

No casino will NEVER get another penny out of me. I have began to see them as vermin, more so each day with every text or email that comes through. Like they’re desperate for my money and everyone else’s on this site. Don’t fall for it people…it will never end well!

Im only a month in and let me tell u, I feel SOO much better! Yes I have debt now but I know that money can always be made. It’s a temporary situation I have got myself in. BUT what I DO know is that the longer you gamble the more permanent your dire situation will be. 

Break free now!

Well done, sounds like your doing an amazing job! Keep it going 😄 

@dazza85 Thankyou. 

Yes I am doing really well and still gf.

I really haven’t thought about having a bet tbh. Even with Christmas round the corner! Normally I’d be thinking of ways to make some quick money to have a great Christmas but I’m quite the opposite! Don’t get me wrong, I am worried about being able to afford presents but not once have I thought about gambling as a way out.

I will get through it 💪🏼

@tj3cpy0aru Well done Mariah 👏👏👏👏. You are doing great! Payday was always a trigger for me too. I could go all month without gambling (often because I had no money left to gamble)😟. Then when my salary would hit my account at midnight, sometimes the lot would have gone an hour or so later 🙈. Just typing this makes me shudder and feel ill. Thank goodness those days are over.

It seems like you are determined and focused and have a good plan of action going forward 👌.

keep up the great work and enjoy all your 40th celebrations! 🍾🥂🍾🥂.

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

P.S: There’s nothing wrong with Klarna ☺️. I have used it and it is a really sensible way of budgeting and buying things instead of putting it on a credit card and paying interest! 👎.

@j5a6meyr4z thanks Pink Lady 🙂

I don’t know why but in some twisted way I couldn’t wait for payday to arrive. I knew this would be a test for me but wanted to test myself and work on any thoughts that came if you know what I mean? And guess what….they never came!

I am so determined to get my life back on track, how stupid I have been. Sometimes shock myself as to how I allowed it to happen to be honest but we live and learn don’t we. Hopefully I don’t have to learn my lesson again as I know how easy it is to be tricked into thinking £20 won’t hurt nothing. We all know where that could end!

Thank you so much for the birthday wishes, I still feel 18 mentally 😂 maybe it’s time to grow up lol

And yes…. I think Klarna will have to see me through Xmas but like you say…interest free and I won’t be adding to my existing debt….win win! Xxx

@tj3cpy0aru 👌👍

🩷🍎.

On Sunday I will be 6 weeks g/f

6 weeks!!

still persevering, still winning at life and feel great.

The other half took me away for my 40th birthday and it was bloody lovely. They say life begins at 40 and I’m starting to believe it!

No urges to gamble what so ever.

Please if u read this, I promise u it’s the best thing u can do for yourself. It’s never too late to start a fresh. Sometimes we have to go through things in life to give us a kick up the backside! I knew what I was doing was wrong and bad for me but glad enough to realise it was only keeping me in the loop. Chucking money down the drain for what? Some fake illusion of winning back what I put in when I could have just kept the money I had in the first place. How bloody stupid!

Dont be sucked into it, come up with a plan. Be ok with the thoughts that come and watch them disappear. 

What done it for me was my boy asking me for a few quid for the shop and I said no, stop asking for money. When in reality I hadn’t got it. I hadn’t got a FEW QUID! My boy went without because I decided do waste it to the devil. I looked at him and thought in that moment, he deserves the world. He never asks for much and I couldn’t give it him. How sad is that.

GIVE UP! Do it for yourself first and then the ones around you. Xxxx

Just checking in….

Not sure how far along I am now….think a month and half? but I am still gf. 

No urges whatsoever 

Still haven’t told no one else about it, couldn’t even think about telling my partner but I am still going strong.

It can be done people, I know I am still early days but my hate for casinos is real.

I have said this before but I just cannot believe I allowed myself to get to a point where I was In debt because of it! I’ll never be that stupid again.

My mental clarity is better than it has been for a while, I’m more productive and starting to regain focus. 

Break up for Christmas Friday for two weeks!!

Really looking forward to a well earned break.

Hope you’re all doing well. Xxx

@tj3cpy0aru Lovely to read Mariah 👏👏👏. Enjoy your Christmas break away from work. 🎄

keep up the good work.

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

Hi Mariah.

I have just been reading through some diaries and wondered how you are doing? Hope you have had a lovely Christmas and still enjoying your break away from work.

Take care and remain strong and determined.

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

@j5a6meyr4z 

Hey Pink Lady.

I had a lovely 40th and a great Christmas, hope you did too?!

I managed to get almost all of my presents by way of wages and Klarna, had to use my credit card once unfortunately but I’m ok with it. Not much extra long term damage done!

Still gf and have not thought about it at all. Think I’m nearly 2 months in now?

I am trying to make the most of my last week off….(I am dog sitting two lovely chihuahuas for my friend for the week) 😂

Hope you’re doing well xxx

@tj3cpy0aru Awh that’s great to hear Mariah 👏👏. I had a lovely Christmas too thanks 🎄.

Dog sitting….. I am absolutely petrified of dogs 🙈. Always have been since a young child 😢.

Take care.

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

P.S: I am still using Klarna/Clearpay 👌. Love them both!!😆

@j5a6meyr4z 

Hey Pink Lady,

I was scared of dogs too for a very long time after being bitten on my face quite badly as a child. I love them now though 🙂

Glad you had a great Christmas! I’m just trying to make it to payday now, Jan has to be the absolute worst month ever 😂 I have 5 birthdays to sort too 🙈😂

BUT!……I’m still gf, still haven’t thought about casinos. My hate for them is too strong now. Can’t believe I was so stupid previously but we live and learn i suppose!

Hope you’re doing well xxx

@tj3cpy0aru Hi Mariah.  Lovely to read once again 👌💪.

Five Birthdays in January!! Wow! I have my son’s on 8th January but that’s it! I always try and get that sorted/have it accounted for prior to Christmas as I know January can be a tight month for most 🫤.

That dog bite sounds horrendous 😲🙈. Glad it has not left you traumatised however 👍.

Keep doing what you are doing and reminding yourself of how much you now dislike those casinos that cause you so much damage and heartache 👎👋👋👋.

Take care.

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

@j5a6meyr4z 

Hiya Pink Lady 

It was actually 6 birthdays 😑😂 missed a nephew off 😂 All is done now and it’s payday Monday!!

A lot has happened this past week tho. I felt that I couldn’t manage my debts so contacted step change. Currently in the process of completing that and I should soon feel some relief. Get my quality of life back!

The biggest thing this week was I came clean to my partner…..o*g! Not about the gambling but my debt. My debt isn’t down to me gambling but reckless spending and getting through the months. I just couldn’t carry on doing it but it all came out. I actually thought he was going to leave me after 25 years and I was well prepared for it! Pictured myself packing my bags and off to mothers! 😂 He was actually really good about it! Mad that I was using credit cards but I have given them to him now and if I need anything to ask him.

I just feel so relieved 🥹

and obviously last but not least….still no gambling, no urges to gamble whatsoever. Coming into month 4 now and my life is so much better ❤️

Take care xxx