It’s time for change….

Good evening @tj3cpy0aru  Mariahxx

Thank you for posting your Day 1 journal and being so open and honest.

Thought I would say great news that you have registered with Gamstop but sorry that you have found the international sites.

Gamban is a blocking tool that you might find really effective to help as blocks all sites that relate to gambling uk and international and is downloaded on your device and up to 15 other devices including PCs. Use this free link to register.

GAMBAN - https://gamban.com/gamcare.

For any  further help and guidance please feel free to call the helpline on 0808 8020133 or live chat https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/talk-to-us-now/

Best Wishes 

Tracey

Forum Admin

DAY 2

Hi all,

Here goes to another day. Up early for work. I work in a school so first day back after half term!

Started listening to the Allen Carr book lastnight. Hopefully it will make me see gambling in a different light and see it for what it really is.

Hope everyone has a good positive day! 

xxx

@forum-admin Thankyou. I feel it’s something I need to do as I have told no one about this. 

I do have Gamban but find it easy to uninstall, I hear a new version is due to be released soon that will make it impossible uninstall? I do hope so!

Posted by: @tj3cpy0aru

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DAY 2

Hi all,

Here goes to another day. Up early for work. I work in a school so first day back after half term!

Started listening to the Allen Carr book lastnight. Hopefully it will make me see gambling in a different light and see it for what it really is.

Hope everyone has a good positive day! 

xxx

DAY 3!

I felt quite low yesterday. I think it’s due to the fact I have for the first time I have opened up about this. Made it all real and I suppose made me feel accountable for what I have done. How did I let myself get to this? 

on the plus side, I haven’t thought once about placing a bet. It’s made me feel sick actually so there’s a little win!

I have things in place to ensure that I don’t relapse should it arise. I feel strong today and positive. I know it’s early days but I’d rather feel like this than how I feel after a loss!

I don’t expect to feel good every day and I accept that. I know this isn’t going to be a breeze, how could it?!

Anyway, have a good day all xxx

DAY 4!

Morning all,

I said I felt strong Yesterday and had a really good day!

Let’s hope today is the same. Still reading the book and it’s certainly starting to open my eyes up to the illusion we all see whilst trapped in this nightmare!

I will free myself from this…..1 day at a time.

Have a good day people xxx

DAY 5!

Hi,

Day 5 means another day g/f.

Another good day was had yesterday. No urges whatsoever. 
I have come up with a daily routine that I believe is helping me through. 

Keep strong everyone xxx

DAY 6!

Didnt have time to post this morning.

Another good day for me. No thoughts about gambling at all. Still reading my book and started watching Steve Rose PhD on YouTube…he’s fab also. In some strange way I am enjoying all this eye opening information, it’s like a relief knowing I have been tricking myself all this time and the cure is to unravel it all. Retrain my brain.

I have been in a similar situation before, 19 years ago where I was in a very dark place. Not with addiction but with anxiety….severe anxiety. 

I fought against anxiety for so long I was in a constant loop just like people do the same with addiction. Apart from the fact gambling was my own fault, the anxiety wasn’t.

Even so.,,,, the same method I used back then is the same method I am applying now. To retrain my brain. 

I will and can do this

Here’s to the weekend! 

DAY 7!

1 week! 

In between running my home, going to work and quitting gambling I have been educating myself. 

I have learned a lot over this week on how to rewire my brain from various sources and comments on this site.

I really am glad I found this site!

I am going to continue to post here daily, probably until I feel I no longer need to.

I haven’t told no one about this so I suppose this is my way of telling, speaking about it.

Let’s see how long I can keep it going….soon be writing week 2!….i hope xxx

DAY 8!

Yesterday I was up and down. It wasn’t down to any urges though. My partner has been away for a week and came back yesterday.

In the week he has been away I have:

For the first time gave into the fact I have a problem.

Put all blockers in place to combat it. 

Took accountability for my actions

Spoke out for the first time (to you guys on here)

Read many gambling stories some good, some bad

Inundated my brain with information on how to rewire my brain

And finally, been g/f for 9 days

It’s been a lot in one week! But it’s been positive.

I know the reason for my down day yesterday is knowing my partner was coming home and I have not yet told him. In all the years I have been with him I have never lied but now feel I am lying and it’s bothering me. He’s not 100% himself mentally so don’t want to add to his stresses. I will tell him eventually though xxx

12 DAYS g/f!

Hi all,

Not been on as I have been super busy at work.

I can honestly say I have had no urges whatsoever. Sometimes I think to myself was I even addicted as I have not yet found it that difficult? I’m probably kidding myself tho as we all know it can creep up at any time!

I have been educating myself in this time and feel I am in the right frame of mind. 

Maybe payday will be a trigger for me? Who knows? I will post back here on the 26th to let u know!

I’m just feeling really proud of my self at the moment.

Take care xxx

19 days g/f!

19 whole days of not placing a bet.

19 days of feeling so much better in myself

19 days of waking up happy and not gutted about the night before 

such an amazing feeling!

Made it to 24 days gf

I can’t explain how much mead head feels clearer. Not having to worry about the morning after. The dreaded thoughts of how I’m gonna get through the month. 

I have had money in the bank and not gambled a single penny. Payday on Wednesday and for the first time in a long time I will pick every single penny up as I have not gone overdrawn.

This is what it feels like to win. This is the only win I continue to want.

sorry casinos but I’ve kicked your a**e this month. You won’t get another penny out of me!

Well, payday was yesterday and there were absolutely no urges to gamble whatsoever!

Today is day 26 g/f…..it will soon be a month!

I’m feeling really good at the moment, apart from the fact Christmas is round the corner. Don’t know how I’m going to afford it with the mess I’ve got myself in. I vow to not use my credit card but may have to go down the Klarna route. I’d rather pay it off in 3 months than add to my existing mountain. Can’t see any other way? On top of this it’s my 40th next week and have nights out booked every weekend in the run up to Christmas. BUT I do know one thing for sure, I would have gambled my wages and not been able to afford any of it previously. I am really proud of myself for this.

My currents thoughts are, get through December and then from Jan I can fully focus on my debts and start the long road of not just paying them monthly but figuring out a way to clear them off completely.

Have a good day all xxx