Well I am going to try make a daily entry on here, I don't want to be here. But I am a compulsive gambler and regardless of what I want I alway end up back here or in GA. Don't get me wrong when I stop gambling I am more content, balanced and happy but without fail I have returned to some sort of mindnumbing torture I have manafactured for myself. To be honest it seems I need the torture in my life. Anyway my head is sore my eyes are sore and I want to gamble but for the rest of today I am going to say no.
Day One feel abit better this morning trying hard not to look at Royal Ascot I know if I do I am gone again so best avoided.
Dear Frozen,
congratulations on your new start and committment to a good life! Have you been able to get to the root of *why* you gamble?
I know a bit about addictions. There always an intial stressor underneath the behaviour that one is trying to manage. If you have cycled round a few times, perhaps it would be worth taking a cold, hard look at your past or present in one-to-one counselling. Was something missing in your childhood? Is something missing in your life now? Is gambling filling a gap somehow? Exploring these kinds of questions in counselling may help you understand the hidden engine of your behaviour. Sorry if I am preaching to the converted, but not all counselling will go there naturally, sometimes you have to plan, target, aim and fire with counselling, rather than just talk. And some counsellors need you to guide them on this.
Rooting for you, we can all help each other here!
Dear Frozen,
I hope you didn't find my post overkill. I am full of optimism that this time will be different and obsessively examining the layers of addictive behaviour, but I may just have come off as annoying, naive or patronising, I apologise if this is the case. Perhaps you are just struggling through the grit and grind of the first week? How are you getting on?
I stayed gambling after this so I start again well back to square 1, will take a couple of days to get a clear head as at the moment I am a in a bit of a haze.
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