Killing the Zombie

Just a quick check in. Well into week 5 and still no urges to gamble.

Making myself post without really having anything interesting to add. Although I feel strong its interesting reading how many posters have a great start - then their posts become less frequent before grinding to a halt, only for a reappearance a few months later with details of a relapse, usually accompanied by an acknowledgement that stopping posting was a big contributing factor. So want to try and avoid falling into that complacency trap and post fairly regularly for at least 14 months- which would take me up to around April 2014 time.

Mate's been staying all weekend. Good craic and a few too many beers been had. Just seen mate off and am back at flat. Hungover with a few hours on my hands - almost instinctively went to log on to a betting site. Obviously checked myself and was then really relieved that I didn't have to go through the process. Shows how little I was enjoying betting before.

Past the 6 weeks stage and feeling strong. That's the good news. Bad news was I made a conscious decision to smoke this weekend. Have to stop tomorrow. Going to use the diary as a focus for stopping smoking for this week. Bit of an abuse of process but that's presenting me with the bigger challenge right now.

Hope everyone's fighting on - whether keeping the winning streak going or getting back in the saddle.

Hey cardhue,

Glad to see your doing well, congrats on the six weeks gamble free. It does get a bit easier as we progress forward, and I'am trying to post as often as I can also. Stay strong, and be proud of yourself.

Chicagoguy

Thanks for your comments on my diary and well done on remaining gambling free for 6 weeks. Sounds as if you had a good weekend and it sounds as if you will be able t kick the smoking in tomorrow no problem. I too need to give up they are far too expensive and are killing me! lol

Thanks CG & Wilsy

Just a quick post. Will make it through today pretty easy with no big smoking urges. Unfortunately that's because I'm feeling like I'm coming down with something. Boozy weekend and the sudden cold weather was always a recipe for getting ill. Still, that's one way of staying off the f**s

Well I'm pleased to say no more f**s since the weekend.

Going to visit family tomorrow with my GF so wont be around the forum at the weekend to celebrate my 8 weeks of being gamble free.

Still haven't had any urges. Why didn't I do this 16 years ago!!!! Anyone curiously looking in, considering whether to take the plunge and start a diary.........GET ON IT. NOW

Hey card,

Well done on your sobriety. Enjoy your weekend with your gf and stay strong.

Chicagoguy

Nice on mate, I'm still smoking, was going to stop today but buckled. Have a good weekend and well done on your continued progress

Thanks CG & Wilsy

Nice weekend away with GF spending time with family.

Gambling still seems pretty much unthinkable as things stand. Sadly not so good on smoking front. Had a couple of f**s on Saturday night at pub, bought some on Sunday justifying a weekend thing, left tobacco at home on Sunday eve, only to buy some more at work today. Expensive this pretending not to smoke thing. Shows what an addictive nature I have. Pretty much zero resistance once I have one, so a lesson to be learned if I needed it- can't ever have a 'one off' gamble. Still, 9 weeks gamble free and that's the most important thing. Smoking blip=day zero again,a wheeze and feeling disappointed with self. Gambling blip=day zero and all hard work I've made in reducing debt suddenly undone.

Hi

Just want to say about urges these are a state of mind sometime I have given up had no urges and sometimes I have. Just protect yourself against a time you may lapse and the other thing to watch out for is complacency. I was 2 and a half years without a bet life was going well yet I went back to this misery I am now 7 years back progressively getting worse I need to change now good luck Michael

Hey Cardhue,

Congrats on the 9 weeks of sobriety. Keep up the good work!

Chicagoguy

It's now been over 2 months gamble free. I've made my second pay-day-to-pay-day without a gamble!

What I'm really pleased about is how I've been able to chip away at my debt. For the last 2 months I've managed to put a quarter of my wage towards my debt. Given I'm living in London with rip off rent I'm well chuffed with that. Doubt I can pay off debt at this rate every month, but if I could be debt free in 9 months.

Mustn't get complacent and forget that I am a gambling addict though. I'm still reading diaries regularly albeit not posting so much. I've often not got much to say and don't feel I can offer the advice to others which some on here so helpfully do. I do appreciate the support though.

SNAP!! - 2 months, 2 payday. We are both doing great. Keep up your great efforts.

Take care.

Feb.

Great news on your debt repayment and for being 2 months gamble free, you must feel so good about things. Well done pal!

Feeling positive effects of non-gambling. GF and I talked about moving in together - I can do this with a clear head and conscience knowing that I'm addressing my issues. Also the fact I've told her about my problem means the only remaining secret I had is out there.

Was getting money out today and for a second had a brief panic. She was looking over my shoulder and I remember previously I worrying in case I'd accidentally pressed 'show balance' rather than 'get cash' - in an instance the house of cards collapses. But now it wouldn't matter as I've laid cards down. Big relief.

Finding I'm addressing how I am more generally. For example I've been meeting a lot of new people recently and I've been looking at how I interact - particularly with people outside of my comfort zone - eg GF's family members. Don't always like what I see when I look in on myself, but then again in order to change you have to be honest enough to know your issues - so this critical reflection is a start. Same does apply with gambling - but my point is more that stopping gambling puts you in a stronger position to make more fundamental changes. It's never too late.

9 weeks and counting