Let's see how it goes.

Hi good luck for tomorrow and with regards to the doctors your not wasting their time, see how you feel. Take care x

How are you getting on Danny?

Hey everyone Day 17 today, no interest in gambling and my first telephone counselling session booked in for Monday at 10.30 which I'm looking forward to. With regards to myself I feel so much more positive about being home, I have a drive to not gamble again and to be honest I don't want to. Being with the kids again is amazing and has cheered me up no end, they are at school right now and I can't wait to pick them up...takeaway and a movie tonight so I've been and got some goodies for us all.

With regards to my relationship, my wife is letting me stay in the house and she has no idea how much that has helped just to be able to be with my family. It does hurt to look at my wife though knowing what I've done and how much i've hurt her and I do hate myself for it, I'm not sure that will ever go away though regardless of what will happen. Yesterday was a good day, I made tea for everyone and went to a WW1 art afternoon at my daughters school, today I'm just tidying and getting on top of the house so my wife doesn't have to, things I actually don't mind doing and are keeping me busy. Lot of work ahead though, my wife still doesn't know if we can still be together, I know if she gave me that chance though that I can prove to her that I can do it and be the husband she wants and fix all of my mess. She is the one true love of my life and whether she likes it or not I won't be giving up on my marriage without a fight. Tanks for all your words of support though and sorry I have been on for a few days.

Hi Danny thanks for the update and well done on your gf days. Thats good news about your wife letting you stay in the family home, at least you have hope and can try and rebuild the trust that has been broken, it's going to take time. That and your children should be the motivation to stay gf as well as putting th blocks in place. Enjoy your weekend and take care, stay gf X

Hi Danny,

Great to read your update and it seems things are a little more positive than what you were thinking this time last week.

I really hope everything works out for you and Christmas is a good one. As you now I was in the same position as you 4 years ago and I promised I would never gamble again. Please be careful and get the correct blocks in place. I love my wife and family more than anything in the world and have done since I knew them. Unfortunately this addiciton doesn't seem to recognise that. I only wish I had found this website 4 years ago.

Hope things are good mate

PA

Hi Danny,

How's things? Hopefully you're well and you and family are looking forward to Christmas.

PA

Hey everyone, sorry it's been so long since my last post....nothing to worry about I've just been extremely busy. Today is day 31 of no gambling and still not an interest. Things have changed for the better since I was last here, me and my wife have repaired our relationship and although it's early days if I stay gamble free our relationship will only get stronger. I'd go as far as saying my relationship at the minute is the best it has been for a long time and that is making me more determined to not gamble. I have had more time for my wife, my children and some of the jobs that needed doing in the house. I've kept myself busy and that has helped a lot too. I have a plan in place to repair the financial damage and hopefully once I get new year out the way i can begin putting that in place.

Right now I couldn't be in a better place, my wife and a few select others know about my problem and that is helping me, no secrecy about anything is making it much easier. Knowing my wife is sticking with me only goes to show me how much she loves me and I will not let her down again. She has also told me numerous times that she has the old me back which is so nice to hear aswell as hearing her say that she is happy again for the first time in ages. We are off for a 4 days break tomorrow with the children, a little xmas family time before I return to work on Tuesday for 3 weeks. Thanks for all your support over the last few weeks. How are you all doing?

Hey Danny , really pleased things are working out well for my friend , it was a difficult thing for you to do coming clean as just as we all do we risk losing everything , that being said I'ts the only way to move forward to a better life :)).

Wishing you well for your future together with your family Dan and a very happy xmas and new year !.

All the best

Alan

Thanks Alan, Day 36 today. Just on my way back to work over the christmas and new year period for 3 weeks. this is going to be tough. Not on the gambling front, I'm finding that strangely easy. More from my family point of view, just feeling like I'm getting back to a good place with them all and I had to leave. We jut spent an amazing 4 days in London as some family xmas time with me being away, a chance for the 4 of us to be together without any other worries and I have to say it was absolutely amazing.

I owe my wife so much, not only for the way she has been through all this but also for her support. I plan on repaying her by never gambling again and by working my way though all this.

How are you doing Alan? Proudarab? I hope your all looking forward t some amazing time with your families over the xmas period.

Hi Danny,

I'm doing good thanks. Going to my second GA meeting tonight and things seem to be looking up on the home front. Coming clean was definitely the best thing to do.

Looks like things are looking good for you too. Just remember how you were feeling the last time you were away (I'm guessing you are offshore) compared to how you will be feeling this time. You'll get some sleep this time and hopefully the 3 weeks fly by for you.

Merry (gamble free) Christmas mate.

PA

Hey Proudarab, well done on coming clean. It's the best thing you could have done and your family haven't abandoned you like you expected which must make you feel better. I have to admit that coming clean and my wife knowing everything is helping in my recovery a lot, I know it''s only early days (42 to be exact) but with my wife beside me I know I can do this. She is being extremely supportive and even more loving and seeing how our relationship is going now I have a clear head only makes me realise what I almost lost and I won't be making that mistake again. My family and making sure I stay gamble free are my priority.

Had a bit of a bonus this time, travelled up to work expecting to be working xmas and new year only for storm Barbara to create havoc and stop me from travelling which meant I got sent home on December 23rd for a few days so I got to spend it with my wife and family before travelling back to Aberdeen last night. Feeling a bit low and S****y now to be honest, things are going so good with my wife and children that I didn't want to leave them. Also had an amazing 4 days in London with them all and when I start feeling c**P I just look through the photos of them to clear my head and cheer me up.

How was everyones Christmas?? Hope it was a gamble free one 🙂

Been finding it hard the last 24 hours. Too much time on my hands to think which as I keep saying is never a good thing. As always stressing about the financial side of things, I know it's not going to be an overnight thing and I will have to work hard at it but the impatience is getting to me. Something different happened this time though, rather than dwell on it too much which always sent me back to gambling I picked up the phone and messaged my wife telling her my feelings (one of the good things about her knowing). Her replies were both reassuring and extremely sweet, she's helped me focus a little bit on getting to April when hopefully I can pay off a substantial amount of debt and as she said it's pretty much January now anyway, so it's only 3 months really. She always tells me we'll be ok and we'll get through it, she's always there to reassure me and show me the way. She's told me not to let it get to me too much because then there's a chance I'll do something stupid, I won't but right now she can't trust that. My biggest regret is that I didn't tell her my problem 2 years ago and I wouldn't be in this position. Now I need to look forward and to the future, and how much happier I am becoming with every GF day, Once I start the pay off process I know things will get better with each payment.

Just before I went to bed I was sent a picture message, a quote from Lauren Oliver saying "My point is, when you love someone, when you care for someone, you have to do it through the good and the bad. Not just when you're happy and it's easy". My wife sent me it and it almost made me cry, sometimes you take things for granted...you know someone loves you but you never know how much. Well the last 4 weeks have shown me exactly how much my wife loves me and I am determined to beat this illness for myself and equally as much, for her.

Finally got round to balancing my transfers to 0% as much as possible and cancelled the cards so that my details aren't stored online. New cards have been sent to my house for my wife to do as she pleases...cut them up or store them in a safe place. I feel much better about that now knowing I don't have that temptation anymore as that was my biggest issue. Now I need to get rid of the remaining balance on one of my cards which isn't 0% and that is going to be my first challenge.

Day 45 for me today, can't wait for 50...then 100.

Hi Danny,

Happy New Year. How's things offshore? I'm sure you will be missing your family but won't be long until you're home again is it?

And like me you'll be over the 50 day mark now.

PA

Happy new year to yourself PA and to anyone else ready this. Let's hope it's a happy 2017 for everyone. Things out here are good, I've decided to bury my head into work and switch off, it's working so far. I'm missing my family like mad, after having such an amazing time in London followed by an amazing and unexpected Christmas at home I found it really hard coming back. I'll be home in 12 days to be exact, a week on Wednesday. I was supposed to be going home this Wednesday but one of the guys asked if I could cover a week for him so he could see family that are in country. I discussed it with my wife and we agreed that the extra money could come in handy right now so that's how it is, I'll use the extra money to pay something straight off.

Day 52 for me today, I've found it suprisingly easy to be honest. The lack of gambling doesn't bother me, I've filled my phone with games which takes away any urges. Instead of picking it up for to blow money on betting I now find myself playing a daft game, it's working anyway. If anything what bothers me more is the amount of debt I have (which I have a plan for...and I've already started with shifting card debts to 0%) and the damage I've caused to my relationship which me and my wife are slowly working towards. For now the future is looking a lot more promising and I'm hoping that with every monthly payment will come a weight lifted from my shoulders, I can only look forward now. Keep focusing on yourself PA, if you don't do that your relationship doesn't stand a chance. Your wife needs to see that you want to change for yourself, that your putting all the necessary steps in place to prevent it happening again. We can beat this mate, but under no circumstances do I want to see yous or anyones else GF days crash to zero....your ahead of me at the minute, keep it that way!

Hey Danny,

Long time no hear, hows things?

PA