Day 14 and am getting concerned as my levels of anxiety are not dropping, I usually get over relapses faster than this or at least begin to feel better. Perhaps this one hurting so bad will be the end of it.
Wow...ok so huge urges this evening...very big, so much so i actually looked at online gambling and for a split second considered it. I have never used online gambling..it scares me enough the amount i can do in the bookies with a debit card but online with credit available to use to it just scares me. Glad i logged off away from it. I played the play for free game and still felt the pulpatations in the heart and the shakes from it even though there was nothing riding on it. Two weeks ago today i had a meltdown. Tonight was one of the enevitable urges to try and win my money back and get myself back to the confidence that i was at last month. i remembered I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP...i must remember this. Anyway im glad i didnt sign up to anything and glad im still out of debt all be it savings destroyed. Tonight was a warning MONEY-TIME-PLACE i had the lot there and luckily i have a distrust for online gambling. Heres to another day...day 15 tomorrow.
Well done, you did right to be scared of online gambling, it does not even feel like real money, until we can't deposit anymore because we have drained our bank account, and when we look online the next day and see what's still in and what is actually available, we then realise how much of our real hard earned money we have actually spent, and even worse then we want to start chasing it, by using credit cards, payday loans whatever, ( well that was me lol) you have done great to resist after that urge, keep well away from free bonuses, it sets the addiction off and can be dangerous.
Suzanne xxx
Well done relapse, we need to remember the fact that nobody wins at gambling long term!
Paul
Been a few days since my last post. Day 25 today just checking in. Taking things day at a time still for the time being, its the best way not to look too far ahead for me.
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