Life begins again

Good evening diary

I have won today because I have. Not gambled today

And I did not want to

Happy free gambling night all

Suzanne xx

Good morning diary

Day 29

Back to work after having spent the last 2 days at my eldest sons did not want to comeback yet

For the first time in 2 years I have not had to lie to them about my secret additive life and I came home yesterday feeling even more to determined to never spend even one penny on gambling

So I am feeling very positive today about gambling I won't play today I don't want to and that's how I feel today

I will win today because I am not going to spend even one penny on gambling

One day at a time all and have a happy free gambling day

It does feel good to wake up with no thoughts of having gambled yesterday All that winning then losing and then chasing and then feeling so devastated and helpless

Abstaining beats those awful dArk feelings any day

I have woke up with the feeling I won yesterday because I. abstained

Keep strong all

Suzanne. Xx

Hi Suzanne, keep posting and keep winning by not playing. I am on day 32 today so we are starting this journey together.

Keep up the good work and remember, if you slip up you will have me on your case!!!!!!!

Hi Suzanne

Thanks for your post and I took your good advice on board , taking it a hour at a time as helped me get through this difficult period so thank you for that

Sharing information and supporting others like I said is what makes this wonderful site work , again be proud for been a part of it

I hope it continues to give you strength and belief to carry on doing so well in your journey of recovery

Castle2

Great to see you had some valuable time with your family Suzanne

Even better to read you've not wasted your time or even one penny

Every one loves a winner. It's easy to love an honest person.

The only way to be a winner and loved more and to love those around you more is to leave the sordid life of gambling and lies firmly behind you.

Everyone needs to feel loved. And love is a feeling you could never get from betting in any shape or form.

Well done for allowing family and love back into your life xxx

Shelly

Evening diary

Long day at work very busy

I used to come home and go straight onto bingo and online slots to unwind I felt I deserved some relaxation.

WHAT A JOKE and the joke was on me

I will always now have to take one day at a time because gambling will never disappear totally from my mind it's on my mind all the time.not to play but it's there if that makes sense

it's my choice not to gamble to night not even one penny so I won't and I don't want to

Taking one day at a time

Have a peaceful gamble free evening all

Suzanne xx

Morning diary

Day 30

Another long busy day at work weather rubbish living on pennies but hey I am not gambling today so

Something has to be good today

Keeping strong one day at a time

Have a peaceful gambling free day all

Suzanne xx

Hi Suzanne (firstly i need to apologise posted your name as joanne in my diary as id just been reading someone elses post, its still early hope you let me off lol)

Your are doing fantastic well done on day 30.

If you were anything like me gambling happened every day at some point (funds permitting) so to manage 30 days without giving in to it is an achievement you should be bloody proud of! this is a lifestyle choice you made to better yourself, just keep in mind what gambling did to you as a person (all the lies, deceit, debt) that has seemed to help me when those thoughts creep in.

Stay strong my lovely, we are all on our way to a better future (hard as it may be to get there)

Jess xx

Dear diary

Did not gamble today my choice didnot want to

Have read a few posts tonight some desparate and some very positive all connect with me and all tonight have made me more determined to not gamble

I hope everyone keeps strong tonight I have

I won today I did not play

Bring on day 31

Taking one day at a time

Suzanne xx

Morning diary

Day31

Feeling more determined today

Have to try and sort out two pd loAns and try to get a plan with them then all my loans will be on a plan

Credit card company ringing me to set up a plan

Seems like one week at a time with all these ridiculous debts sorting them out

At least I have not got into anymore debt for 31 days

That has to be positive

Aftermath of gambling on my mind all the time at home because still sorting the mess out that I created

When I was on a binge online why did I not think about afterwards I will never really know

One day at a time

Wishing all a peaceful gambling free day

Suzanne xx

Dear diary

Still waiting for phone call from card company

Have sorted one more pd loa out for a plan will do last one tomorrow as day off

Am on late shift today which was one prime time to gamble before work but not today don't want to play today don't wAnt to lose today

Son said something not very encouraging last night when he came home that if OH gave me my laptop back I would be straight on slots he really does not understand how bad my addiction had become

And how I can never play again

As a CG if I wanted to play I would can do it on my Ipad

If I wanted to he missed the point that I never wish to play again

It's not a game my health and sanity are at stake plus my 14 year relationship

It's quite bizarre that he thinks I play for entertainment

When you are on a binge and win or lose you have same feelings which were none how could that be entertainment

He bets on football at the weekend has done for a few years but he is in control I hope and I do not want to go into too much depth with him it might trigger him into being a CG if that makes sense

Oh I wished I knew some right answers but I don't know any I am just taking one day at a time with everything

Suzanne x

well done suzanne

keep it up! one day at a time!

bring it on!!!

gazza

Hi Gazza

Thank you I say bring on tomorrow

Suzanne xx

Hi Gazza

Thank you I say bring on tomorrow

Suzanne xx

Hi Suzanne

Glad to see you standing strong with head held high simply because you didn't waste a penny.

I keep popping by to have a read and make sure you're doing ok.

Old habits die hard. I've spent 15 years supporting a CG in a recovery he didn't actually give time or attention to. Now he's gone I can come here express what's bottled up inside and hopefully support someone who genuinely wants it.

You take good care

Shelly x