Life begins again

Good morning diary.

186 days of not spending one penny on any form of gambling, very positive for me to write that.

Pay day today, and it's lovely not to have that panicky feeling of how much I have left after debts have been taken out.Paid another pay day loan off today, it really feels such a relief to be able to pay them off.

A lot more changes are around the corner too, my very last day in my present job, mixed feelings this morning, but I know I have made the right choice to take redundancy, because of my physical and mental health, that has to come first.

my job was one of my triggers to gamble, so that has to be a very big positive for me to leave that job behind me

Not in til lunchtime, and will finish early, then off to the pub for a couple lol.

I can't now feel negative about my redundancy I chose that path, I must embrace and be optimistic about another new beginning.

As far as gambling thoughts go, none whatsoever minus Zero, but I know I have to be extra on guard at this time, because big changes can set triggers off.

Holding on extra tight on this rollercoaster today, as I have no wish to fall off, and why would I Gambling repulses me today.

Wishing everyone a strong positive and happy gambling free day.

Suzanne xx

Lovely post x

Morning,

Keep doing what you are doing,

Gazza

Hi S,. Really great to see you marching on and reaping the benefits of abstinence. I was told before and surely can relate to this: one door closes, another opens. Don't be scared to close that door girl, new opportunities lies ahead. Grab them with both hands and never let go. Take care and have a lovely day. Sandra x

Morning Suzanne.
Well done on 187 days. You are creeping up to the magic 200.
Have a great day.
Steve xxx

Good morning diary

187 days of winning my life back, and it feels sooo good, to not have any thoughts whatsoever of self destructive gambling.

Yesterday was quite emotional as works had a leaving party for us in the training room, and we had loads of leaving pressies from the company, yes it was quite bitter sweet to say goodbye, to the people I have worked along side with for over 7 years.

It was the job I hated at the end not the people who work there, and I feel for them as we head towards Xmas with even more loaded in to them with even less staff now, and we were all experienced in our jobs, and we all did our jobs very well, so there will be a bigger whole now for them to try and fill.

It was a lovely leaving do and going to the pub afterwards was like putting the cherry on the cake, ( I have had no social life at all this year) so it felt so good, like Xmas when I was a child.lol.

So how did the thoughts of that horrible word gambling come to mind whilst having a great but emotional time, ( not thoughts to gamble I hasten to add) but it stared me in the face and what a shock, because one of my colleagues gave me a leaving card this one was very very different, I opened it up not expecting anything to be in it, but guess what not one but 2 scratch cards were in in this card, with a lovely message about bringing me luck.my colleague thought it would be a good will leaving gesture, bless her she had/has no idea about my addiction, but I felt ashamed when I looked at them, talk about going out on a roll lol, I guess gambling in so many ways will always be around me.

I gave the scratch cards to my OH when he picked me up, and let him scratch the boxes, and guess what a big fat zero, and guess what I was relieved, that temptation had not won in any form.

Shopping this afternoon for a new outfit ( yes diary a new outfit) not bought myself anything new since last year, but I am out again tonight with the girls from work, a meal and then pub crawl, I know it will be a good night, because I am actually starting to feel like a real woman again (if that makes sense) and this I am achieving simply by abstaining and maintaining one day at a time. Staying strong focused and very much determined and always with guard tightly up.

I will not be playing today, because I am too busy living in the real world, and really starting to enjoy my life.

Wishing everyone a happy strong determined and peaceful gambling free day.

Suzanne xx

Hello Suzanne

Just popping in to say hello, well done on your continued abstinence ! life is so much better without gambling. A calmness comes over us.

Hope you a great night out and reward yourself with a new outfit ! you deserve it.

Dark Place x

Hi Suzanne,

Thank you very much for your support on my diary. It is great to read that you are doing so well. I hope that you have a great night out tonight. Enjoy. You deserve it.

Take care

Dave X

Hi Suzanne, thank you for popping by 🙂 ohhh look at you and new determination which grows daily. You are doing it girl and as i said before it will only get better! Keep reaping the benefits life has got to offer, you are worth it so so much...tell ye what..even if i had one of the worst years in my life this year...i am surely fighting alongside and believing in change. One of the things i seem to struggle is socialising and only attended one conference (boring indeed lol) with work colleagues in my 2 years service for the company. ..next month a group of us heading out for a meal and "pub crawling". Sort of exciting cause i never did pub crawling but am aware it is a tradition in England. Hell i cannot wait lol!!!..waffling on here....wishing you a very good night out and hope your taking pride in what you have achieved so far. Stay kind to you and keep the positivity going. Sandra x

Morning Suzanne

As one door closes a new one will opens so it's great to see that you are taking the positives and not looking at the negative , for me that mentally shows how strong you are now , now your making all the right decisions you will get all the rewards life has to offer , how ironic with the scratch cards but so proud the way you handled it

Take care

Castle2

188 days.
Unbelievable.
Have a great gamble free day.
Steve xxx

Thanks very much for your supportive messages, I really do appreciate itxx

Good morning diary

188 days of starving that hideous, horrible, sickening addiction.

Feeling very delicate this morning lol, but it was a fantastic night, really enjoyed every minute of it.

The thought of gambling still repulses me at this time, so that is very positive, for me as I am going through changes in my life.

I realise that this can be a vulnerable time for me but I am feeling strong and making that right choice today, which is abstaining and maintaining one day at a time and slowly but surely getting my life back on track.

Wishing everyone a strong determined and happy gambling free day.

Suzanne xx

Hi Suzanne and well done for staying strong whilst making changes in your life. Great stuff. Regards... S.A

Morning Suzanne.
Day 189 is something to be very proud of.
Keep strong.
Steve xxx

Suzanne

great to see your resolve grows,addiction will continue to become a memory rather than the contending factor that decides what life will revolve around.

For your efforts a huge well done from me,a huge well done for handing those scratch cards over too.

Keep making th eright choice

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.