Life With Sports Bets Only

For me those who still have the means to gamble without completely shutting off options deserve more credit from long term abstinence. They are doing it out of determination and desire, not through locking all the doors.

and the other part of your comment was around people who self exclude, or put in other barriers have lost the means from which to gamble, therefore not gambling becomes the easier path. (not a direct quote but my understanding of what you said)

hmmmm

as i see things, recovery from addiction is not only and not just about not doing the things that one has become addicted to.

i have said many times before, but think its worth repeating here, that stopping gambling is the easy part, its rebuilding your life that takes the real effort.

putting the blocks and the barriers in help people to break the habit of gambling. they are not in and of themselves the majic bullet. there is no majic bullet recovery from addiction takes hard personal work.

there are many aspects to recovery

coming to terms with the losses

rebuilding self esteem

beginning to like and love yourself again

making plans for the future which do not include gambling - moving on

rebuilding lost relationships

taking pride in yourself so taht you can look yourself in the eye

i am sure there is more that could be added to this list

you talk about watching the golf at the weekend. i get the sense of your fretting over watching - almost saying no point to watching sport if i cant bet on it

where are you in the great scheme of things?

are you prepared to stay stuck in your mind set of gambling or not gambling? its like keeping a foot in both camps. that is never a satisfying position to be in. continual tugs and pulls in both directions. its exhausting!

captain - maybe its time to make a decision. go back to gambling and leave behind your attempts to stop, or fully embrace what stopping means for you.

where you are at the moment, to me, feels really fraught, and draining - how long can you continue in that frame of mind?

love

rusty

xx

Hi Captain, just as I was starting to get a bit bored with the postings, you come up with something very controversial, and at the same time interesting.

Is self exclusion cheating?

Well I don't think so, anything that can break the habit/routine of gambling is good in my eyes. I've broken the routine with total abstinence, and have scrambled my password on the only account I've got online. But, I know, like you, that I will be gambling again, and think I NEED access to the form of gambling that I wish to partake in, so that I CAN treat it like a competition. You've stated that your compulsion doesn't stretch to online slots/roulette/bingo, so your possibly not qualified to judge the people who do. You also state that your lunchtime gambling is worse(could be wrong), but other people have access to your urges 24/7. Give yourself an open ended lunch hour and you see the problem, so making things harder for them to access their gambling sites is a must.

Anyway, it's each to their own and I applaud everybody who is making progress in their own way.

Hope your doing well.

lads nothing changes if nothing changes !!! 😉

Russ/Jimmy/wp/ Rusty/Paul

Thanks for responses and good to see some debate on this one. As with any debate no correct answer and just based on personal opinion and experience.

For me I'd want to achieve my target without forced exclusion and I know I'd feel better about achieving it that way, however I fully understand why others use the self exclusion and betfilter type barriers.

captian, for what its worth, that is the route i took. actually, for almost similar reasons.

i was saying to someone today that i have a stubbourness about me, a sheer dogged determination to do things my way. That stubbourness works well in some situations, but in others totally blows me out of the water.

in terms of gambling, and lack of blocks it worked well. my logic was around teh fact that i wanted to stop gambling for me. i also wanted to leave myself with the choice of gambling or not gambling.

choosing not to gamble was easier for me to deal with than not gambling because i cant.

keep plugging on captain, you will get there in spite and despite of yourself!

love

rusty

xx

captain,

you really do infuriate me at times, I read your diary from my phone and was halfway through typing a ranting response.... but then figured I was really tired and probably best to leave it....

I only say that to highlight that I'm not just here for a love fest and to sing your praises...

having said that I agree with two points, one yes you create debate and actually that can be very helpful, everyone is indeed different and everyone will have a different way in dealing with things...

secondaly, I've not readily admitted this on here as I don't want to sound smug, which I certainly am not.

I downloaded the free week of betfilter. I had every intention of then paying for the full version, I even tried but their site was down, I had the funds (and still do) to pay but I've also now broken through 6 months without a bet and apart from that one week I have only closed accounts that I had online (or limited the deposit amount to £5 a month) there are plenty more I could join

I've found it hugely beneficial to my own battle to know that I have chosen not to bet.

I've had several really bad things happen since - that was always a good excuse for me to gamble - but I have chosen not to.

do I get tempted? well possibly, I certainly think about it sometimes but I have no intention of gambling again.

I am also extremly lucky to have a wife, who despite standing by me, detests what Ive done, an added incentive for me to not gamble is not wanting to lose her.

So my moral, I think the blocks are a great solution for some, not worth a lot for others

Everybody should choose their own route, they should choose how to tackle things, they should choose what they feel is best.

so I also agree with you when you say their's no right or wrong.

If I do preach on here then I apologise, I only mean to offer my opinion.

the idea that people can choose to quit, well that is something I think can be possible

dan

Last weekend got bored watching golf this weekend bored watching tennis. Not easy to find other things to do when sport has been your life but it's over 20 years since you watched it regular without a bet on it.

Do I want to rebuild my life without sport? What else do I have to look forward to? Life is just work, do chores, read and keep fit.

I'd rather be gambling but I can't.

No, you can't gamble because you know that it won't pay off in the long term.

Just remember this, eh?

GT

I just want to gamble and gamble and gamble. It's the only escape I can find from this monotonous life where I actually feel alive with some emotions.

But if I gamble it takes all my money away.

Exactly.. so the only solution is not to gamble. It is not easy... S.A

Can't cope with this, it's 10.00 on a Saturday morning and wish it was Monday to get back to work. Too much time and emptiness in a weekend. At least at work I have a purpose iife and some direction.

Captain I really know how you feel right now. Racing was my whole life. I worked in it, my boyfriend worked in it, my family business was in it and gambling was everything to me. When I look back I don't know how I managed to stop for as long as I did but I know it takes a huge effort to rebuild a life when its all you know and really all you want to know. Let's face it, we still want to gamble of course we do. We need to believe that life is going to be better if we are not doing it and for me I really struggled to believe that. You need to fill the time somehow. Don't let yourself 'sulk' because I did that and self pity can be quite addictive too. When I read your diary you seem a lot like me in that gamling for you is escapism. I apologise if I sound patronising or like a psychologist here but what are you trying to escape? What is it that leaving a void in your life that gambling has to fill? Again that question may seem to have no answer because you seem to have grown with gambling and so, like me, it created its own space in your life. For me I realised that gambling had been keeping me away from people. It is a solitary past-time in the main and I had always viewed myself as something of a loner so it suited me. When I gave it up I began to find time for other people and to find having more friends and socialising more wasn't such a bad thing.

Ah maybe non of this is relevent to you. I don't know. I just feel for you at the moment because I relate to that emptiness. You love it but it hurts you.

Eyes X

Eyes thanks for post, appreciated and very much on the mark and relevant.

I have always been a loner and have always felt comfortable in my own company and expect I always will. When I had things going on in my life about 20 years ago I was more comfortable doing socializing to some extent but the balance has always swung towards a preference for time on my own.

I have always loved watching sport and always loved participating in sport years ago when I could. Gambling on sport just came naturally. As I became less able to do sport, I filled more time with gambling, but as gambling on sports events wasn't available every day I got hooked on horse racing and anything else and as everyone knows the options have increased over the years.

My interest topics don't go beyond sport so I feel uncomfortable in social situations where sport is not the main topic of conversation but even that's not the whole story as I can easily switch off and tell people I'm not interested in a sports event if I'm trying to avoid gambling on it or my selection has already lost.

I know I need to fill my time somehow but I have spent so much time and effort over the years trying to identity other interests and to no avail. I don't think there is really anything wrong with only being interested in sport but now I can't watch much without a bet on it and I feel so uncomfortable at work talking about anything other than work and sport yet when I'm out of work I'm bored with no focus.

Hi Captain,

Like you, I do like my own company and really do enjoy my sport watching, especially football. Luckily, I have never been attracted to the betting in football, only ever limited myself to the odd £1 for my team to win their league prior to the season starting. I feel so lucky this way as I can still really enjoy sport without being attracted to the evil world of continuous online betting.

I mean, 2-2 with 10 minutes to go and odds are still displayed for the last 10 minutes. This is ridiculous!

Have you thought of taking up jogging? It's a sport that everyone can enjoy with plenty of running events up and down the country where your target is just your time.

GT

Hi GT thanks for post. I have done running for years both alone and in races.

To follow on from this and also to answer the question about what I am trying to escape from with gambling - I was brought up to try and be best at everything I do. 2nd is nowhere.

So with gambling it's just me against the bookie and I have to win and on days I do life is wonderful. I gamble for fun and enjoyment but in terms of escapism it is because life doesn't throw up opportunties to be the best any more. It used to many years ago doing competitive sport but now I can only run against the clock not win races so that's not good enough.

In work and family social situations I have regularly found myself in situations where I feel inadequate based on my ability, knowledge or way I lead my life in comparison to others. Gambling has allowed me to feel comfortable and escape from those feelings or allowed me to have increased confidence when those situations occur immediately after a win.

This would all be fine if I could control gambling but I can't and now I still have nothing to be the best at, still feel inadequate and have no escape time.