Life With Sports Bets Only

Thanks for the posts wp / JamesP / Russ.

wp - I have posted to you.

JamesP - havent communicated with you before, thanks for taking the trouble to read my diary and your comments make a lot of sense and are much appreciated. Well done on the 4 years.

Russ - I will reserve this book at my library tomorrow.

You're very welcome captain, happy to help in any way possible.

Your diary struck a chord with me and I haven't seen another where I can see so much of myself in what you write.

As I said, sometimes we have to be assertive to fill the gaps in our life that we can't fill. One of the things I put on my list was hiking on my own - I didn't think I would like it as I like socialising, love the hustle and bustle of city life. But it has given me so much - solitude & exploration is so liberating; I come back feeling like I can take on the world; that just wasn't there before.

Someone recommended an album by Sixto Rodriguez - it was filled by some of the most emotional and soul-searching music I have ever heard. While I was gambling and in the process of giving up, I would have said thanks and left it on the coffee table to collect dust.

I don't think I could have got to four years without making a real effort to find these things; I have such an open mind now compared to the one track mind when all roads lead to the Bookmakers.

My heart goes out to you my friend - your honesty and sincerity really makes me believe that not only will you conquer this, but find fulfillment as well.

JamesP

Well, not posted for months but having problems again and sharing thoughts so back here. I see Curly you have another new diary and are giving abstinence another go, good luck mate.

Yes its first day Cheltenham but betting on horses has not been an issue for years. I kicked that into touch along with Golf, Tennis, Snooker betting.

I have gone for spells where everything has been fine and I have made good progress but I then frequently end up gambling again on a combination of Football, Dogs and Virtual Racing. As stated previously on here betting on football alone has never caused me a problem but despite trying to stick to that its never enough and the lunchtime and after work trips to the bookies for greyhounds and virtual kick in. I've had counselling, been on here for long spells before, I've done self-exclusion despite not really wanting to and it didnt work anyway. tried GA and hated it, read The Chimp Paradox which was excellent and explained a lot of my behaviour but in the end I have now been trying for 8 years to either control or give up and simultaneously trying to identify and involve myself in other pastimes. I have succeeded in identifying things to do in evenings and at weekends.

I just cant seem to survive without the lunchtime and after work buzz, I need that drug to keep me going, win or lose. I want to improve my financial situation and I have to some extent, but the gambling has never been about the money and never will be. I would happily just be involved and end up a few hundred down each month.

I know the buzz is artifiical but I cant survive without it for long periods. During my self exclusion I felt so flat and bored and just like a zombie with no life. I eventually travelled longer distances at lunchtimes and after work to get back involved and then also found I could bet in some of the shops I had excluded from anyway as it had been a few months and no staff bothered.

I read with envy those (e.g. Jeff ) who can watch sport and enjoy it without a bet. This is another thing I have really tried to do but I have given up on this, I have simply been betting on sport for too long and cant take my head back to being a teenager watching it for enjoyment only.

I know I need to quit, I've tried and suceeded for periods of time but against my will and the only benefit I ever get is financial, I am not a better person in any way, no other aspects of my life improve. I have improved other aspects of my life separate to my gambling urges and challenges.

Do I continue to strive to quit for good or do I resign myself to always needing the gambling drug and try to get a better head for understanding the value of money? The amounts I bet are just so high, because of gambling and debt I have lost all sense of value of money and embarrassingly can lose a months wages in 30 minutes.

Hi Captain.

Welcome back. I had hoped that your absence meant that you had managed to quit or managed to gain some control with your gambling. It's good to hear from you in any event despite the circumstances.

I relate to your craving for that lunchtime or after work buzz. Your gambling patterns are similar to mine. Greyhounds or Virtual racing have often been my outlet. Anything to escape the daily grind of working life and add a modicum of excitement!

It's no way to live a life though Captain. A months wages in 30 minutes! Sounds ridiculous but I don't doubt the truth of it. Crazy when you see it in black and white though.

I'm stopping for the sake of my own health and out of respect for my wife. I miss the buzz but not the stress and constant lying. The concern I always have for you is that I'm not sure you ever manage to truly convince yourself that you have sufficient reason to stop.

You are a conundrum Captain and I hope you find the answer.

Over the 3 years plus on here I have not established any reason to quit gambling other than the financial benefit. ( Yes I know that should be more than enough ). But interested in sharing views of other benefits which are non-financial, having not experienced any during periods of abstinence.

Hey Captain

Good to hear from you mate.

You actually come across to me as someone who gets too stressed,but that is one of the other benefits for me kid.

I also spend a lot more time with my family.

I do have a lot in common with you too kid.Ive taped cheltenham and have really enjoyed watching the so called superstars winning,and to be honest wouldnt back them at the short prices they were anyway.

Its been great to have youaround for the last 3 years Captain stick around kid.All the best Jeff.

Another bad day. Completely out of control at the moment and behaving like I don't care.

Hi Captain

On Monday and Tuesday of this week I was in your frame of my mind. Take yourself off for a couple of day clear your mind and decide what you want to do. For the compulsive gambler you know you are in a dangerous place what you could do now could take months years to undo. Take a couple of days clear the mind I hope you make the right decision.

Michael

Hi Captain.

Sorry to read you have had a tough day today. I hope you have a better one tomorrow. Gambling is never the answer mate most certainly not in your present frame of mind.

You asked what benefits I have gained from not gambling. Well as an example let me tell you about two blokes I know. The first is a fella called Bob. Never has a bet. Nice guy. Always has time for people. Works hard and has no money worries. Maybe a bit boring but nobody has a bad word to say about him. He is happily married and seems content with his lot. Then there is Doug. Never out of the bookies. Always on the scrounge. Constantly lying to his wife and making up excuses for unpaid bills. His wife will tire of him and leave him one day. He looks older than his years and seems constantly stressed. I see him looking over his shoulder when he enters the bookies at lunch. Must be worried the boss will find out about his habit! He lives in his own little world and doesn't pay much attention to the needs of others.

I am both Bob and Doug but I prefer being Bob. I can look myself in the mirror being Bob. Life is duller and I miss the lunchtime or after work gambling hugely. It is a sacrifice worth making though for the greater good.

Keep striving to be a better you.

I am just frustrated just now because I did so well for a long time and have now let things slip again for no good reason, I think I have an inbuilt mechanism which tells me I'm not allowed to be happy and need to keep s******g up.

Since I admitted to being a compulsive gambler 8 years ago I have always said that although I am a CG I am not addicted. I have made progress in removing from the Agenda areas of gambling which I could and wanted to, one by one. I am still Gambling on Football and Dogs by choice but I am not addicted to them.

Today I think however I need to admit addiction to Virtual Racing. I absolutely love it and cant resist it but it is taking all my money away and subsequently affecting my well-being and self-confidence.

Hi Captain

Sorry to hear things are not going too well for you. My gambling problem was solely connected to virtual racing. After nearly three years of it, it eventually took over my life and made everyday living a misery. I think there has to come a time where you completely hit ROCK BOTTOM and for me, this was 18th Jan this year. That was it, enough of gambling. Believe you me, I was online whenever I could, until the very early hours of the morning, totally ruining my sleep patterns.

I find it interesting that you say you are a compulsive gambler but you are not an addict? For me, if someone is doing something compulsively, that would suggest that this could also be seen as addictive behaviour? Just a suggestion and I hope you don't mind me saying, this may be one of the reasons why you return to GAMBLING, possibly under false pretenses?

I hope you are able to sort this out in your own mind and achieve what you really want to achieve. I'm sure once you have done this, things will become much clearer and easier for you .

Take care and think long and hard about how your life is right now and how you would like it to be and start making those changes to better your life.

Good luck Captain.

Feb.

Captain,

Thanks for your post on my diary - which I really appreciated. Seems you're in a tough place right now, and I feel your pain mate.

I like Curly's comment above - about the two sides of his personality. I can certainly relate to it. There are times when I'm abstaining, when I think I honestly can't function - whether that be through drink, drugs, or more often than not - gambling. I look at people who live their lives mundanely, and I envy them for not having this craving for some other buzz/escape/excitement - whatever you want to call it.

I've come to realise though, that if life has to be boring and mundane sometimes - then so be it. The alternative is no longer viable. For me, that means no gambling - ever - period. As discussed, one bet of £5, £50, £500 - whatever, and I'll eventually crumble and end up back at square one. You mention you're addicted to some forms of gambling, but not others. In truth, I might question that.

Anyway, I know that not gambling is the only option for me. Life IS dull sometimes... day-to-day stuff DOES bore me... but it's a gradual process, and steadily I get back to a point where I appreciate the simple things more. More than this though, I want to be an adult. I want to me mature, provide for my partner, and eventually start a family. 'Gambling me' will never manage this.

I wish you the best mate.

Keep posting

D123

Previous comments refer, my definition of addiction is along the lines of whether I am in control or not, so if I gamble on Virtual Racing it is so available and frequent and gives me such a buzz I am out of control when gambling on it.

My only other two pursuits of Dogs and Football both operate differently in that I consciously say Yes or No to them and am in control when gambling on them.

So I believe I am generally a compulsive gambler from the point of view of not being able to stop and spending time trying to recoup losses but whilst doing this with Football and Dogs I am not out of control so not addicted.

This follows much time analysing the reasons for my gambling behaviour and all types and differences.

I'd recommend Overcoming Gambling by Philip Mawer.

First weekend without gambling for a while.