Life With Sports Bets Only

Captain.

Fella as i say recovery is bespoke. For me from the lottery to horses the fobt all forms of gambling result in the same relentless pursuit of destructive gambling.

To boot my mindset becomes if i can play lottery then it justified the fobt.

So today totally abstaining is the solution. For you fella you have to find what suits you.

The one lesson i learnt through GA was from a fella who lost a bet which had odds of 1 to 1000, a 100k stake!! To win in his mind 1000 quid on a no brainer tennis match, And the underdog won, leaving him chasing his 100k. That old saying, " there's no such thing as a cert" rang through that story.

I win without gambling.

I understand rational gambling our eldest son partakes in that, sporting bets staking what he can afford to lose, me the odds never outweigh what i know i will lose.

I do enjoy sharing your posts, food for thought.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Thanks for reply Dunc, really value your input.

I fully appreciate that total abstinence is the best method for the majority of problem gamblers.

I am currently making my latest attempt to avoid out of control gambling sessions, which I call episodes. I intend for now to continue to gamble, with control, with amounts within budget on events which do not cause me a problem.

I hope for support from the Forum on this latest journey.

No episode today.

Capt,

It's all about working out your triggers and making sure you aren't in a position to fall prey to them.

The only part of gambling I lose control with is FOBTs. So, I don't go into the bookies. I can do all my controlled betting online or on my phone. I've got no need whatsoever to enter a shop. I haven't been into a bookies for well over three months and subsequently, I haven't been on an FOBT.

Now I have savings and my life is looking up.

It sounds so simple, but that's really what it was for me. If you're the sort of person that excessively bets on things that can be bet on ANYWHERE, not just FOBTs, then cold turkey from all forms of gambling is the only way.

Capt,

I really do wish you all the best in beating this problem. Like Duncs says (and I have said to you several times in the past), recovery is bespoke, and far be it from any of us to judge how you are managing this thing.

What I will point out is that I've been on this forum for 5/6 months now. Throughout that time, you've battled with restricting your gambling to 'manageable' things - things you can do in moderation and just for enjoyment. However, each time this has come back to your having another 'episode' whereby you become embroiled in compulsive gambling on virtual racing etc...

May be a time will come when you just decide to eradicate it all... For me, it is all or nothing. Like you, there are many forms of gambling I can do sensibly - but I have come to accept now that I will never be able to do them again.

As we've discussed previously - this might mean your life seems dull, and there is nothing to stimulate you. But this may just be the reality. I've been abstaining for almost 6 months; I've had no 'epiphany' moment... I am still in a shedload of debt... and I still struggle to find any parallel stimulation anywhere else.

But I am an adult. I have to take the decision to not gamble - ever - because it will surely bring about my complete destruction.

Keep fighting mate

D123

I found your diary interesting, I'm begining my journey, I was hooked on fobt, evil, I think I can control my sports but agree with Duncan now, maintain by abstaining, I'm finding it hard, I want to be physically Sick. I wish you well and admire your candid honesty ...

Thanks for the posts guys

Seargant - agree with what you say re types of gambling and some you can do anywhere. The problems I encounter are all in shops, however on the flip side, I only want to bet in shops on sports events. This is because historically I had problems with out of control gambling on telephone betting, just too easy to lose track of money that way and also like to have a betting slip in my hand (traditional / old-fashioned ). Never done any internet betting.

Have managed in past times to stick to sport by going in to shops and placing bets first thing in the morning when nothing else happening but nowadays the virtual racing is on whenever the shop is open. Also you cant get paid out for a win first thing in the morning in many shops.

D123 - absolutely fantastic post - I think you know me better than I know myself! Cant argue with your summary of the past 6 months, and as I've said before I may have to admit defeat and abstain completely. Just so frustrating that I can go for long periods and be in control and yet one bad day (an episode) can destroy months of effort and money.

On the first pages of my diary in 2010 I felt sick at the thought of not gambling on Day 3 of my abstinence.

I'm 3 years later, on Day 3 again but calmer now, I have come a long way in 3 years and made a lot of progress although there have been many ups and downs.

For me its not all about the money, gambling has acted as an escape from stress and boredom on bad days and as one of the few things in life to look forward to on good days.

Thats been it in a nutshell, when I am calm, focused and relaxed, gambling is a pleasure to look forward to at lunchtimes and after work and as long as I am in that mode it usually doesnt cause an issue. But life isnt perfect so need to learn to live without gambling triggered by stress or boredom and deal with life in same way non-addicts do.

Try to put thoughts of gambling out of my head and live life as normal. The bit about what to look forward to will be difficult - for years the cycle has been I do my work or complete my chores at home with having a bet being the relief and release and the thing which restores me to peace. Its been like I just crave that feeling so much I cant function without it most days.

Thank you for your support on my diary.

We learn so much when we have stopped for a amount of time, we know about those nice feelings of being proud of our achievements. You are obviously learning now like me what can kick of our wanting to gamble moments I.e stress or boredom.

Keep strong and take one day at a time.

LG

Day 6 of my latest attempt at total abstinence.

Gambling on sports has provided the best days in the last 20 years of my life. The best memories. Gambling on random events in an out of control fashion losing outrageous sums of money has provided the worst days.

Without gambling in my life I am flat and have no zip. But I just have to try and get used to a more boring life. Just go to work, go home, go to gym, keep my house and garden clean and tidy and read books and watch TV. Thats life and better than many I guess. Could have been so much better but this is my punishment for being such an idiot gambler over the years. Think all I can focus on is the relief of going home each weekday evening and each weekend. At home I feel safe in the knowledge that I wont have to fight urges or deal with stress and boredom factors which lead to my out of control gambling.

Maybe as more time passes I'll feel better about all of this.

captain.

fella you have knocked the ball out of the park in your last couple of posts.

your post on Ade's thread invoked a great deal of food for thought about the forum.

I have a view that the compulsion to gamble is a progressive addiction and like many things in life folk have different levels of tolerance.

The same goes for recovery, my recovery meant i had to hand over all financial matters to my wife, as simply my compulsion had become so controlling that i let it rule my every thought. i was a day from reposession, i had not paid a bill in many months and every penny went to feed the next punt, i sold my soul in those last three months. so in recovery i had to follow extreme measures as i had no self control. I self excluded from all bookies near me and couldn't trust myself with a pound.

i walked into GA broken, a broken man. through this i understand have witnessed folk who stopped before my level of carnage and in equal measures folk who had lost homes, family and much more.

The common goal for us all is to educate ourselves that destruction comes from our problem gambling and to arrest that through a way that works for us and the one thing i have grown to respect most from this is in recovery there is No competition.

we are through abstinence all winners. plain and simple.

My constant efforts in recovery come from the fact that there is a part of my brain which even after all the madness misery and destruction gambling brought to my life it still formulates and tries regularly to get me to lay that first devastating punt.

the other thing we all have in common whether today is day one or one thousand.

today matters. abstinence is far from boring fella i salute you for feeding my quest to enjoy it.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Yo,

I too thank you for your recent posts . And commend the fact that you post with such honesty. Touching on a subject that can be a bit delicate .

I agree that recovery is or level of compulsion is not a competition . I do find myself nodding away at your posts as if I had written them myself . I think you have helped so many who read this forum , relapse and berate themselves as to why others can get it right and they can not . Is it to do with being more compulsive , is it to do with strength ? Who knows . But I do believe this discussion helps through giving a greater understanding of how it is for other people , making people not feel so alone and worthless when they do relapse , or continually get urges .

I also relate to your boredom , the drudgery of day to day living . I myself have been taking a long hard look at all aspects of my life and recently have made some major changes to try to keep me in recovery .

I like many believe compulsive gambling is a symptom or a consequence of our factors in our life .

Keep posting mate , I as are so many good folk on this site getting soooooo much from your posts .

Respect to you fella !

Shiny xx

Thanks for posts Dunc and Shiny.

Shiny - re compulsive gambling being a symptom or a consequence of our factors in our life, I agree.. Duncs I also agree it is progressive over time.

When I had parts of my life which I was really happy with - winning athletics races and football matches and being young and free and having my life in front of me, I gambled on football and the odd horse but the gambling was way down my list of priorities. As I got older and my ability to participate in sport reduced and then was eliminated completely due to injury and in parallel my outlook on life changed such that my vision and hope for what I may accomplish proved to be nothing like the real thing, I more and more filled my time with Gambling.

Gambling on different things I'd never even gambled on before and had no knowledge of, and eventually on virtual computerised events where I was just picking a name or a number.

All of this in the quest for the thrill of Winning and being successful which I thought my life was going to be for a number of years in a sporting sense and otherwise. However the length of time of my sporting involvement was much shorter than envisgaed, I got promoted to the level I wanted to at work and then didnt want to move up the ladder any further so made a stupid decision and got involved in alternative work type work which did nothing for me. My personal life couldnt be deemed successful either.

I live by sayings like 'winning is everything, second is nowhere'. I need success and winning. I cant stand non-achievement and failure. I have explored many avenues and tried many things. Nothing but gambling gives me the wow factor but nothing but gambling takes all my money away and leaves me with a mountain of debt.

I have to learn to live without winning. And although many say just by not gambling we win, I cant subscribe to that one.

First and foremost, everyone should read the post on Ade's diary from last night - just fantastic, covers the thoughts that many of us have. Totally agree with all of it, I just cant get myself to say I am 100% committed to giving up.

Day 7 for me of latest attempt at abstinence. There are 3 sides to me:

1. During abstinence periods, I feel dull, boring and lifeless - my usefulness to others and the value I add - 2 out of 10.

2. During periods of gambling when I stay in control I am confident and more fun to be with and add more value to others - 8 out of 10.

3. When I have complete blowouts and lose all my money I am just a wreck, cant cope and everything in my life suffers - 0 out of 10.

On average my blowouts and the impact last for 4 days a month, so I can be 8 out of 10 for 26 days a month and 0 for 4 days, or continue abstinence and live at a 2 out of 10 level.....

The above summarises why I find it difficult to be 100% committed to quitting gambling. Abstaining and living at 2 out of 10 level for the rest of my days with the only focus being paying off debts just doesnt seem right but one day at a time and see how it goes.

Yo,

Once again you gave me food for thought .

These are where my thoughts ended up ...

Unlike you I gambled to escape , I have a obsession to worrying and standing in front of a machine was my way of turning off my thoughts . I had done this since the age of 19 . I am now 52 .

Over the years my gambling increased but once I started playing fotbs it excellerated at an alarming rate . Till in the end I had a break down , was 20k in debt and admitted to rehab .

My point to all this is that I do not know how old you are . But I could relate to the 4 bad days a month because I lived like that , and saw gambling as a necessary evil to escape and cope with my life .this was something I did for neigh on 25 years .

Sadly over a 5 year period my compulsion increased as we know this is a progressive decease . Till in the end all my days were bad days . And that in the end broke me .

I hope you do not mind me hijacking your thread .

As I said yesterday I find your honesty refreshing , and it is most defo helping me and I am sure others .

Take care , and keep posting mate .

Shiny xx

Day 8

Sad to read of a couple of others who have been abstaining for long periods and gone back and gambled. Cant give them any advice, can totally understand why they have gone back. Good to see other members providing support.

I dont think it really matters too much if someone gambles now and again and treats it as a slip=up, as long as they see general progress towards their aim long-term. I'm trying to count the days and take one day at a time as people recommend, but I do feel a bit of a burden in doing the daily count and can see why where people do that and get to say 100 days it then feels worse to have to admit slipping up.

Me I have had episodes on average once a month for the past 3 years and I know each episode represents a problem. 4 years ago I hadnt even admitted I had a problem at all.

Whatever way you look at it thats progress. Hats off to those who come on here, say they will never gamble again and stick to it and never relapse, but many others are also progressing and getting better in different ways.