Life Without Gambling

96 days GF

Had the majority of last week off work, spent some quality time with the family which was great.

Haven't ate well or exercised this last week. I blame half term?

Back to the gym tomorrow and some normality which I am looking forward to. 

I will also be 100 days GF on Wednesday, never thought I would see the day.

Hi 

In time I understood that living in my fears was not healthy.

That living in my fears caused stress anxiety and more seriously Panic.

My fears indicated that I was a aloner not having healthy connection with others.

The rooms of recovery helped me come out of myself more and more.

The rooms of recovery helped increase my trust in connections with other people.

One of the many reasons I feared being honest was it was painful, that it would lead to rejection and abandonment, being honest was going to lead me to be even more of a loner.

The hurt inner child really needed healthy intimacy with healthy people.

40 Gambling free days is some thing to feel good about.

For me I needed to get motivated in healthy ways, it was not healthy for me to be dile.

I found that being obsessive was not healthy yet being productive in healthy habits was.

When I was emotionally vulnerable it was important to talk to some one and get things out.

It was important t understand m emotional triggers and deal with thinsg in healthier ways.

In time money matters get resolved and once our comitment to paying back is done we can treat our self to reward our self for the good work we have done.

Learning to be proud of our self is also important, we tend to foret how painful our life was a a compulsive gambler.

I enjoy living my life today with out hurting myself.

Spending money on the the car was a very mature thing to do.

Have a good weekend everyone.

101 days GF

Can't believe I made it to 100 days. 

Onwards and upwards !!

105 days GF

Been a busy week so far at work.

Even managed to visit the gym yesterday and today before work, I love the place lol.

Still no thoughts about gambling which is good.

Still struggling financially as a result of heavy gambling over the years. It will get better but finding it very tough at the mo.

Still haven't told my wife about the situation I have got myself in but getting closer to coming clean.

Hi

It took me some time to pay back the debts yet once done less pressure off of my self.

Going back to gambling is the last thing I want to do today.

In time once I got honest with myself could I get more honest with other people.

Living a lie and living in fear caused more pressure on myself.

Today my wife knows more about me than the day she amrried me.

One day at an airport my wife asked me how I was feeling.

I was honest and told her I was panicking, she said you never panick, and she found it very hard to beleive.

Once I admitted to my wife that I had doen so much damage she asked only one thing of me.

That each day she woukd ask me if I gambled, I was asked to be completely honest if I had or had not gambled.

My wife told me it was not the money that hurt her it was my lies and my betrayals that caused her pain.

So for some time each day my wife asked me if I gambled and I told her no.

My wife in time learned to trust me again.

Sadly people will think that we can stop if we want to stop gambling.

In time coming clean and completely will reduce our fears and take teh stress off of us.

In time I healed, I learned to love, I learned to live my life with out fears.

Thank you.

Love and peace to everyone

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham UK

@gadaveuk 

Great words Dave. Thanks.

I will be debt free in around 3 years time. Alot of damage done over the years but everyone will be paid.

The wife and I had a conversation about gambling back in 2018. I was gambling very heavily at the time and got myself into some difficulties. I promised her at time that I would change !!

I will tell her about everything in time , just need to do this for myself first. Get some money behind me with finances in order, x amount of days gamble free etc.

108 days GF

Looking forward to some downtime at the weekend ? 

119 days GF

Finally starting to see the light in regards to the end of financial hardship due to years of throwing away my hard earned money on gambling

Hi

119 days Gambler Free days that is very powerful.

Do you think in time you willl be proud of who you are now.

The financial hardship was very stressful, yet the consequences of Gambling caused increae in my pains,increae in my fears, increae in my frustrations, increae in my loneliness.

No matter how much I lied to myself while in action I was being unhealthy to every one in my life.

I enjoy being fearless today.

I enjoy clarity and focus in my life and with my relationships.

With my gambling I can achieve so much more with my life and with other people.

For me gambling for years of throwing away my hard earned money yet going with out things I shoudl have enjoyed. 

Thank you but today is far more precious than a wasted life of gambling.

Time and money gone I accept that is it.

But I can make up for all that wasted time today.

Love and peace to everyone.

Dave L

AKA Dave Of Beckenham UK

Hi Dave,

do you have any coping mechanisms which has enabled you to be able to do this?

Thanks

Posted by: @gadaveuk

Hi

119 days Gambler Free days that is very powerful.

Do you think in time you willl be proud of who you are now.

The financial hardship was very stressful, yet the consequences of Gambling caused increae in my pains,increae in my fears, increae in my frustrations, increae in my loneliness.

No matter how much I lied to myself while in action I was being unhealthy to every one in my life.

I enjoy being fearless today.

I enjoy clarity and focus in my life and with my relationships.

With my gambling I can achieve so much more with my life and with other people.

For me gambling for years of throwing away my hard earned money yet going with out things I shoudl have enjoyed. 

Thank you but today is far more precious than a wasted life of gambling.

Time and money gone I accept that is it.

But I can make up for all that wasted time today.

Love and peace to everyone.

Dave L

AKA Dave Of Beckenham UK

 

Hi Dave,

I think in time I will be proud of the person who I am and became.

I didn't know who I was half the time when spending most of my time gambling.

Thanks

Dave O

Posted by: @cristiano-ronaldo

Hi Dave,

do you have any coping mechanisms which has enabled you to be able to do this?

Thanks

Hi,

I have a number of coping mechanisms mate.

I took up running, joined the gym. I am watching more TV these days (boxsets etc), spending more quality time with the wife and kids, cooking more and discovering new recipes etc. Even though I am in my forties, I have started to play a childhood computer game also? 

All in all, very happy with this life rather than the life spending hard earned money gambling all hours of the day/everyday.

All the best.

Thanks

Dave O

@davido0103 

The wording coping mechanisms.

Coping mechanisms about our unhealthy reactions to people life and situations.

This what I would understand is our unhealthy reactions happened before we started to escape in to our addictions or obsessions.

The addictions and obsessions were just the symptoms that we are were eotionally vulnerable.

Some people react in unhealthy ways to the mention of pains of our past being a consequence of pains not healed.

The word victim often people think it is about blaming the unhealthy people of our past.

There were some very cruel things that happened to me which needed healing.

The recovery program for me is healing from the pains of my past.

In my recovery I got to understand my emotional triggers, pains I could not heal, fears I could not face, frustrations due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations, loneliness, and boredom.

Only once I took recovery and abstaining seriously once I stopped hurting myself then I would be able to understand my unhealthy reactions.

Once I understood my self more, coping with my triggers became so much simpler.

Blanking out or suppressing my pains was not a resolve for me, I needed to understand solutions to my emotional triggers.

Events and thinsg that use to cause me to go into rage now make me laugh, that for me is emotional resolve.

As we heal more not blanking out or suppressing we feel like our fears reduce.

Along with reducing my fears, healing my pains it is no longer blanking out or suppressing.

Life with out fear is very powerful.

Understanding more about our emotional triggers gives us far more stability in our daily life.

The person I needed to be at peace with the most was my self.

Love and peace to everyone.

Dave L

AKA Dave Of Beckenham UK

124 days GF

Was in two minds to still post as GF as had a mini wobble mid last week.

I was out with friends having a few drinks when one of my friends challenged me to a friendly pub game for a few £.

I didn't even think, accepted and lost the game. Technically this was a gamble.

I was a bit chewed up afterwards.

However, the 124 days are time abstained from visiting bookmakers, visiting online websites gambling hundreds of pounds a day on all kinds of different sports.

I had a very unhealthy relationship with gambling with me firmly now in control.

I am still going to log as GF going forward.

Dave O

126 days GF

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