Lost the plot...so back.

Update:

Still clean. Still no internet!

That's good to read mm:)

Suzanne xxx

I feel I should update my diary with this.

I stayed in a hotel last night, working away. I met some friends in the evening and had quite a lot to drink. I was drunk but not rolling around drunk, I was 'drunk and I know I'm drunk' kind of drunk.

When I walked back to the hotel I passed a 'casino' - not a real one, I'm abroad and these 'casinos' are just bars with big payout machines and an automated roulette table.

The part of me that stopped me going in must be strong, because I remember deciding to spend the 25 euros i had left and I remember detouring to go past the casino and play. However, I definitely did not go in, and I got back to my hotel, slept like the dead and woke up with a banging head.

Could've been a moment of madness, its all still inside me, but I didn't do it. Feeling quite pleased with myself, although not entirely sure what happened!

Milkman.

Fella glad your inner mind gained control.

For me is addiction whispering in your ear that roulette is not your choice of gambling so by default it's acceptable, I can imagine telling you how controlled you were recently.

Bottom line is for me any form of gambling would keep addictions hope of regaining my mind alive, I was fooled many times in my own gambling life that my gambling was acceptable.

The truth is I detest the person it made me, today I like you want to listen to the real me.

Keep making the right choice my friend

Oh and as my Ma would say 'put some lemonade in it!!!!!'

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back

Thanks for your v constructive comment Duncs.

Still clean. Still resolute, I think. So, nearly 14 months minus the controlled necessary one. And THAT set of circumstances won't arise again for years now, if ever. I will not be complacent.

Other news...just got a monthly mob bill for 100 quid, using internet abroad. Ouch!

Wow, great work the other night milky 🙂

& thanks for dragging Mrs D up to Page 1 🙂 I've been so busy living lately that I've neglected her a bit!

Ouch to that mobile bill :-0 Can you not get some sort of data package on a SIM from wherever you are that will keep the costs down?

How are you settling in & more importantly are you all healed now?

Good to see you still winning, keep it up - ODAAT

Thanks for your lovely post mm, and it is really good to see you staying clean lol.

I think now any form of gambling for a CG is no good, because it does keep the addiction live,

Well done you are keeping to your resolve, yes high phone bill, ouch indeed lol, there are some good deals around now, worth a look at if you are on a contract phone that is due to expire soon,

Keep winning and it does get easier as long as we stay in the same mindset, RECOVERY lol.

Suzanne xxx

Hi ya, thanx for dropping by 🙂 Peace has finally tracked me down & calm is the order of the day, long may it continue 🙂 How on earth are you coping with no internet, I was 'without' (no signal in the flat & then the NM supervising me when we went out) for a few days & I'm d**n near giving myself RSI catching up on life!

But, never mind all this me me me nonsense, how are you doing? You fully healed yet? How's 'abroad'?

No gambling; 14 and a half months now.
Currently in the UK visiting friends and family. Had the opportunity to gamble on the boat, but not tempted and actually forgot about it, which is a first. I seem to be spending a lot of money on all kinds of stuff at present, not gambling of course, and my previous prudence and thriftiness seem to have gone out the window. Ok I suppose but I need to remember I'm still 13k in debt and I still have a mountain to climb.
Still, I'm stable and gambling is most certainly not at the front of my mind, and that is surely the most important thing.

Hi mm,

Lovely to read you are over 14 months gamble free, wonderful achievement,

Suzanne xxx

Hi Milky, lovely to hear from you 🙂

I'm hearing you about money slipping through our fingers but hell (amazing why it accepts it like this but the i in the middle makes it offensive) we have a lot of making up to do & as long as you aren't wasting money gambling, what harm is a little debt huh? Don't ever lose sight of how far you have already climbed & just keep climbing, baby steps will do! I'm so busy being 'normal' I'm starting to question how I ever found the time to commit to Mr G the way I did & am currently relieved to say I don't miss that slimy scumbag one little bit! I know he's there lurking, waiting to strike but we have the power & he knows it, no room for complacency on this type of journey!

Hope you had a lovely catch up with people you left behind for your new life & hope your injuries are all healed now!

Keep safe, keep winning - ODAAT

No gambling. 15 months.

There are opportunities, I am tempted. But it is only fleeting.

Dug up my very first entry today - Oct 10th, 2011.

I've been meaning to come here for quite a while, I've read some of the diaries and other entries and I can see myself in all of them.

Tonight I spent 3K (which I don't have) on an online gambling site and I knew I'd have to do something. I'm teetering on the edge of a financial abyss, I've got a wonderful toddler and a baby on the way, life is generally good but I keep inflicting damage on myself. I need help and I hope I can get it through this site.

My wife is in bed wondering why I'm so long tonight, so I need to go, but I hope to start a diary tomorrow.

Please God, let it stop...let tomorrow be day 1.

Cripes, 3k!! What I couldn't do with that now...not least, reduce my debt from 13 to 10k.

Anyway, all is good in the world at present. going to attempt a dry November, that'll be a challenge

Hey up Milky, I know you're no longer on this fair isle (hopefully it's not as windy where you are) but you are still in our hearts & minds...Hope you are getting up that mountain & doing ok buddy!

Just drippong by to wish you a lovely family Christmas 🙂

Only me 🙂

I'm sure you're too busy with the little ones to be hovering @ this time of year but just in case you're about, "Hi!"

May as well get the 2016 message in too whilst I'm here...Here's to another gamble free year 🙂 May I forever be chasing your tail - ODAAT

Ohh Milky, been digging out some old friends today & couldn't retire to my pit without a fly by...Hope life is treating you all well - ODAAT