My Diary - Day by Day

Day 11 - 21/1/16

Doing half a shift at work today and hopefully getting some clarification on my flexi application! Feeling mixed emotions but will stay gf even if it goes bad - losing money is not going to help the situation

Day 12 - 22/1/16

No clarification from work yesterday! Oh well trying not to dwell on it

Hope you get some clarification soon girl, but as you say no point in dwelling on it:))

Keep positive 12 days already well done you.

Suzanne xxx

Day 13 - 23/1/16

Thanks me too.

Day 15 - 25/1/16

Starting to miss days again - just so busy and thinking about gambling less (thankfully) although still thinking about it. Know i am stronger again since my 'blip' but can never say never

Day 16 - 26/1/16

Feeling depressed lately - lots of stress - had a niggle this morning but abstained.

Day 18 - 28/1/16

Another cold! We are both poorly - dont think it helps being run down stress wise too. Meeting tomorrow about my flexi hours. Will stay positive and not gamble

Want2stop.

Its only my humble, but i think your the most couragous person on these diarys. Your lengths of abstaining, mixed with lifes happy and not so good moments is admirable, especially with the fact that your never far from gambling with your other half.

Be sure you look after you..

Day 20 - 30/1/16

Thanks for the support volcano 🙂

Had the best news for a while yesterday - my manager agreed my flexi application - one less thing to worry about.

I am always just one click away from gambling - its on the edge of my mind at all times - I probably will gamble again at some point but as long as the gaps in between are longer than the times I actually gamble then that is at least some success! I got to a point of gambling daily and getting in huge financial trouble and worries. The road to recovery is long and winding with ups and downs but I am still travelling on the right journey

Great news about the flexi application 🙂

But part of that really worries me... "As long as the gaps in between are longer than the times I actually gamble then that is @ least some success" Not so! That is just addiction trying to convince you that the occasional 'flutter' is ok...It's not! It hurts financially & mentally & the progressive nature of addiction will see the gaps getting shorter & the gambling getting longer until you are right back where you were before only this time with a little one watching on 🙁 It's not fair on Paige to be growing up in this sort of environment...Please, I implore you, get some help! You did brilliantly @ abstaining before & are doing so again but if it's constantly on your mind you need some tools to enable you to deal with those thoughts & really get you into recovery - ODAAT

I am always just one click away from gambling - its on the edge of my mind at all times - I probably will gamble again at some point but as long as the gaps in between are longer than the times

whole heartedly agree with the wise owl ODAAT there, a dishonest thought is sneaking in. You know, you can abstain for years and in just 1 bad slip, all the pieces come tumbling down.

Keep pushing on.

Day 22 - 1/2/16

Thanks both for your wise words. As always I am just being honest on here as I can truly be myself and open up. I dont see the point in lying or trying to hide what i am thinking. It would be easy to write positive things these honest words are nearly as hard to write as abstaining is.

Day 23 - 2/2/16

Still here 🙂

Day 24 - 3/2/16

Day 26 - 5/2/16

A year ago yesterday I joined this site. I may not be a year gamble free due to a 'blip' on Day 338 but i have been gamble free for the majority of the year which is better than the previous few years.

Debt down to £4739.44 which would have only grown had I not been on here and carried on as I was