My Diary of Shame

Well hello there!! Thanks for keeping an eye on me Missus, i dont go on here as often i should do anymore, but just wanted to wish you a merry Xmas and happy new year! thats right isnt it? sometimes i get the merry and happy mixed around lol! Keep doing what ur doing, peace!

Have a lovely Xmas Junnnieee,

Suzanne xxx

o*g! What were you thinking! :-0
Noo...actually - who are you and what have you done to my Sesuo!?

Looks like i have no choice but implement 8hr pact again huh :-))))

Be good & keep ur head held high! (Not if it happens to face someone's sweaty armpit on the tube :-P)

Coo coo

OHHHHHHH ! I'm filling up now ! [ just eaten all the mince pies & Drambuie I left out for Santa ] but wont say where the carrot went ?.

Thank you so much my fav grandaughter for all the great bits of wisdom and posts ,that always seem to make me laugh along the way !.

Youv'e cheered me up no end during my whingy times and it's been a pleasure being alongside you on this journey of our's .

I hope you have a great christmas Kelly and that Santa leaves you something nice ?. [ sounded so wrong , from your pop's ] but I'm really a 29 yr old Royal marine ! LOL !!

Right let's go and see what the rabbit's done with that carrot ?.

Wishing you and your's a very merry christmas .....................................Alan

ODAAT wrote:

Well Mrs D, here comes a well overdue (according to Pops) update & I'm not quite sure how it's gonna pan out since I've just taken myself off to bed @ 1618...

Today is a down day BUT, no thoughts of gambling so, this early in my recovery, that means it's still a good day 🙂 I'm not being funny but how many other people in the world would understand that mentality & yet I'm sure you all know where I'm coming from!

I've had a troublesome few weeks @ work & tomorrow is day one of 15 out of the next 16 with the 0530 train to kick it off! I don't like the time (I like the Christmas timetable even less as for the rest of the early starts, I need to be on the 0454) but I don't mind the early trains, generally the dribbling messes (me) have washed in soap before leaving the house rather than in beer & Burger King! I have not been stressing about it until today either so that really is work in progress 🙂

So, Monday saw me enter a GA room for the 1st time! I'm not worried about my recovery per se but I'm a little concerned about the lack of urges & that this may be the honeymoon period, plus, I keep suggesting it so only fair I know what it's about! I didn't realise it @ the time but the 1st words out of my mouth were a big fat lie 🙁 I said no bet since last August (can never remember if the 2nd was my day of reckoning or my 1st day of recovery) when I actually meant no fruit machines & I still feel very bad! I have since weighed up the value of continuing in the manner that I was (lottery) & for the sake of a bit of normality, I am going to carry on regardless, although I may have to re-evaluate this down the line!

I arrived well early, took in the sights of my old haunts as I wandered through the town killing time, peering into them as I am prone to do & felt aghast that I had ever ventured inside! Then I got some chips & curry sauce from next door which is almost reason enough for the 2 hour drive each way! Outside the centre were men huddled into their hoods, smoking, there were dishevelled youths riding through the Town on bikes, crowds of kids outside MacDonalds, it all felt a little daunting to say the least, thank goodness I knew someone inside! I even tried a couple of hello's as I got inside but the men all scuttled by avoiding eye contact even & yet once inside it was like a cloak of magic had descended...All the scary faces became human & had voices! From the broken man in the corner to people still attending after years being gamble free, it was like the forum coming to life & I came away feeling like I'd had a great evening out with friends & not been subjected to work talk once 🙂

I intended to find the words to do it justice but I really don't have the vocabulary! What I will say however is, it seemed that the only people in that crowded room struggling with their recovery were the ones who had been missing meetings...That is a statistic that speaks for itself!

Anyone wondering whether it is for them...Give it a shot, what do you have to lose?

The defintion of gambling tests many ODAAT. Your not the first and you won't be the last to try and find ways around gambling.

Just keep an open mind to anything that might help you and i wish you all the best

Merry Christmas!!

Thanks Kelly Merry Xmas to you and yours also. Our group closes until the forth but we have an online meeting in between via something techy I don't really understand. We also have a secret fb page where we all keep in contact. Phone lists, text messages, physical contact out of the room. Our room is a community, a family, we have a unique bond & connection through honesty & vulnerability I have rarely witnessed anywhere else. As for persevering with you lol. You don't need my help. Everything you need is already inside you. But happy to listen if you need to bounce thoughts. Your friend. Dan x

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hiiiii

Your messing right I pay £24 a month, Honest I thought it was a dating site..

How are you im missing you hope your ok

Many thanks for the post ODAAT. Feels good 🙂

Thanks for dropping by ODAAT much appreciated. take care.

Morning ODAAT thanks for the words of advice and encouragement very much appreciated. Xmas was crazy so much chocolate and toys everywhere. Hope you had a nice Xmas.

Just wanted to drop by and wish you all the very best for 2016,

I truly hope the new year is a brilliant one for yourself in your reovery and every aspect of your life,

Have a good one,

Drew

Happy New Year's Eve Junnieee:))

Yes we will have to arrange something in the New Year.:))

Suzanne xxx

PS Nooo,new cleaning stuff for Xmas lol,

Happy 2016 Kelly..although your always be Junie to me ;-)...thanks for bashing Mr G throughout 2015 and keeping him from my door :-)) long may it continue.

Since I last posted to you I see NM Has made an honest women of you ;-)) many many congrats to you and NM.

Myself and the florist married aged 19 and August 2016 is our 36th wedding anniversary 🙂 ...people often ask what's the secret?..there's no real secret really Juuuuuuune but we do still go out for a romantic meal twice a week...............she go's on Wednesdays I go on Saturdays ;-)))))

All the best to you and yours Kelly ..catch you next year OAU...Ginger Gary x

Just popping by to wish you a happy new year x be great to keep in touch x

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