My FOBT recovery

Please give GA a try mate, plenty of meetings to choose from if you can drive, you are not doing yourself any favours not trying it out, something needs to click in your head

Day 4.

Had some serious issues recently which resulted in me pressing self destruct.

Friday was the lowest point in my life and I couldn't prevent myself losing my entire life savings even though the consequences would be disaster I carried on , I knew I was on the road to ruin yet the compulsive side of my gambling took over big time , I was offered no way out like the previous times , no big win inbetween to soften the blow , make me think and walk away , it was all in and completely messed me up.

No sleep , a weekend to gather my thoughts and think and back into a new week trying to earn a living.

I am the closest I have ver come to losing the absolute lot , with some hard work in April I can get through this which is the roughest path of my life , I owe it to my wife and boy to overcome this horrific addiction.

Onwards and upwards.

Day 10.

Managed to get through a pretty grim weekend without gambling and now into double figures , I have been here before and know how easy it is to slip.

The Grand National was the main topic of conversation on every channel on Saturday and I have done well despite temptation to avoid betting on the race.

I know the triggers of my gambling however I know the value of having money and the things I am able to do when not gambling and not have to worry about it.

The sad thing is I wouldn't think twice about blowing a fortune on the roulette yet im shopping round for the best budget deal on some garden furniture.....madness.

Day 11.

Never going to be easy and a lot of thoughts about gambling today , football is on tonight and there is a full programme which means I would have always placed £50.00 - £100.00 on various teams / players to score and then stare at the television like an alian cheering them along , I always enjoyed a good bit of luck with this type of betting but if the bets ever lossed it would always leave me seething and wanting to recoup and chase the loss , chasing only ends up one way , me with my head in my hands and skint for the month.

This is so so hard but I am determined to keep going.

Keep going mate...you can beat this vile addiction that's had your money...time...and soul....
It's a hard road to travel....but beleive me I'm 90 days free and feeling great....you will NOT win....you will loose....11days is something to be proud of....just keep building each day....enjoy the games...without worrying about the result...good luck x

Hi John , the best advice , go and do something else with your time tonight ? Don't sit there watching and dwelling on something you can no longer safely do , in time you'll be able to enjoy the game as it was intended for the sport ,the entertainment and not the gambling then you can wake up in the morning with no regrets and what money you do have still intact !

Keep going fella and best wishes ....................Alan

Day 12.

I know the more I dig my heels in the more irritated I seem to become.

Gambling had become a huge part of my life , the thrill of winning and treating everyone coupled by the huge losses , self loathing , upset and general shut down.

I thought I had reached my rock bottom a few years ago , but a few weeks ago was my lowest ever point in the gambling world , sat in bed shaking , upset and all kinds of thoughts about how this mess would ever come right.

Since that day I have not gambled , lots of thoughts about a quick fix , my problem would be is that when I really put my mind to it I would probably win on sports , but I cannot stop at one win and cannot stop at one loss so I can never win because my compulsive nature means I can never stop.

I need to turn my compulsive energy into a compulsion not to gamble , I have a family holiday next month and determined to give my family one to remember for all the right reasons.

We need euros , holidays clothes and all the other things that go with a holiday so that needs to be my focus.

Day 13.

It's been a tough two weeks to get to this stage but I am slowly battling my way through the days.

I remember last time I really tried I managed some 250 days which for me was pretty amazing , my life changed for the better but the old demon came back and ended up here again.

Just hope with time I can see where I went wrong last time , learn and quit forever.

Hi john , just wanted to say a big well done on reaching your 2 weeeks gamble free , always a tough couple of weeks to get through , on your last post you spoke of those feelings of shaking and not knowing what to do to sort out the ness and thiose are feelings that I also identified with 7 months ago just before I had my last bet , again like you I was always good at one type of betting but that for me was Greyhounds , the trouble was it always ended with any winnings going into my nemesis the Fobt's and try as I did I couldn't stop being sucked right back in everytime .

There is no quick fix for us and as you know "we cannot win because we cannot stop " so I'm glad your focusing on the important things in life , you , family and your forthcoming holidays , you know you can do this and are aware of the pitfalls !.

Take care my friend and best wishes .............Alan

Nearly at the end of the first three weeks.

Slowly things get easier , the first week was awful but this week thankfully thoughts of betting have faded.

I know I am only one slip away but on the bright side that's three weeks without any worry or sudden mood swings.

Day 24.

Things are certainly getting better and digging from a deep hole I found myself in.

I head towards 1 month free of gambling happy in the knowledge the dreaded fobt hasn't taken a penny.

Onwards and upwards.............

I have reached 40 days which is good for a person with little will power.

Saturday however I would have gambled if the betting site hadn't recognised the card , took it as fate and the bet lost anyway.

Money is again tight at the moment and only a few weeks until the holiday so I got to keep strong and keep building the days.

New Year new me .... who am I kidding.

4 days and hoping this year I can improve my mental state and my self destructive gambling.

Football , horses , dogs , darts , roulette all my road to ruin , roulette is quite possibly the worst thing ever to have happened and cannot begin to imagine the tens of thousands ive thrown away chasing money.

Start of my new year , start a my new diary and lets see where it takes me.

Hi John, well done on not gambling yet in 2017. I looked through some of your earlier posts and it is very hard to stay away from fobt's, it is like they have some sort of mind control power or something. I am currently on 39 days without setting foot in a bookies, i have been a regular gambler since about 2000 but i would say my gambling got worse after my dad died in 2010. Fobt is the issue, i used to play horses and watch on telly and enjoy it, i havent played the horses in god knows how long, same as footy bets. I have had a few false dawns in the past and refrained from going in the bookies but this time i am ready to completly n*b it off. Only 39 days in but i feel like i am winning everyday by not going in.

Day 5.

Lots of thoughts about gambling but in my mind it would ruin any new years resolution and take me back to square one.

This year I cannot fool anyone , I need to be true to myself , accept I am a compulsive gambler and try to deal with it the best way I can.