My FOBT recovery

Day 3.

My biggest battle at the moment is sports betting , I love the football and a bet but my compulsive nature takes control when I lose and that only leads to playing roulette.

I have started coming to bed earlier , watching tv , less use of my phone after 5-6pm but to cut it all out in one go is a mamoth task and not one I feel comfortable with.

So here goes with day 3.

Day 4.

A good week this week with the family , thoughts of gambling a few times but managed to resist the urge so far by taking myself off to bed and watching films.

The big tests come when I am out drinking , I have declined our usual mad friday with the boys just because I am not in the right frame of mind and could easily end up slipping.

Day 5.

Battled through this week been really tough going.

My one thought is my recent slip which could have caused really bad financial problems for the whole family , my other thought is a recent slip this time last year before I went 200 + days without gambling.

I need to maintain focus on this one , my family deserve better than for me to be sat staring at a screen blowing 100s on the roulette.

Back to day 1 again.

I often wonder what I m becoming when back to square one again.

Again had a few beers over the weekend and gambled on the football , the fact the bet one is not really relevant its my actual recovery which is set back.

This time last year I was in a different frame of mind and was determined not to gamble on anything , sadly part and parcel of when I lose leaves me on the roulette which is totally destructive.

Hey John, you are certainly not back on day 1 with your recovery journey.:))

Listen am not going to mention your barriers and triangle, but really think now, what is the point I cannot ever ever win, because I just cannot stop once I start,

Believe in yourself, you can do this, and well done for getting back up quickly.

Suzanne xxx

Thanks Suzanne,

The reality is I am in the middle of a deep depression caused by gambling.

I am determined to break the vicious circle , my main part being the roulette.

The longer I stay away from the roulette the better and then try to concentrate on other areas of my gambling / triggers etc x

Happy New Year.

I am not one for resolutions but I know for sure one thing which needs to change is my gambling.

This time last year it wasnt under control but I had hit rock bottom and started on a journey or 200 days + of non gambling , the longest I had ever gone.

My vice is roulette and that is the cause of complete self destruct in which I would put my last penny in the machine.

This year needs to be different , I can live a comfortable ish life and the roulette would just ruin all my hard work over Christmas.

Already a fair few days under my belt and will keep building.

Hope you're well John?

Few days before I am 36 and still a long standing battle with gambling.

Thankfully the main problem which is the roulette I haven't been near but my usual football & horse racing bets have come back and gradually taking over my life again , I enjoy the football & horses and without having a bet on the game or the race there isn't the same buzz.

I know deep down it is only a few quid here and there but that money could be used for better purpose.

john010380 wrote:

Few days before I am 36 and still a long standing battle with gambling.

Thankfully the main problem which is the roulette I haven't been near but my usual football & horse racing bets have come back and gradually taking over my life again , I enjoy the football & horses and without having a bet on the game or the race there isn't the same buzz.

I know deep down it is only a few quid here and there but that money could be used for better purpose.

Try get back on the wagon m8 ,Us CGs cant win because we cant stop as you know. Only matter of time before disaster strikes with the fobts/online/phone.They are my posion as well ,every other form of gambling was controlled but that d**n roulette ..."tis the devils work" . hope you stay strong my friend !

Back here again after another of them nights.

Gambling seems to have been a big part of my 36 year life , starting on seaside fruit machines and ending up today on the bloody roulette tables.

For some reason last night I wondered into the back bedroom and started playing roulette , had the urge not sure what or why it was triggered , £60.00 turned to £100.00 and before I knew it I had put £700.00 in , someone somewhere must like me a bit of sympahy came my way and money I had lost back , switched off and went to bed.

Another 2 hours of my life wasted watching numbers go round on a wheel , my own sanity risked because these things are pushing me over the edge.

I wonder this morning how I will ever move on from these stupid bloody machines.

Hello John

I understand your situation as Roulette is my nightmare, once on it there is no stopping. It is a destroying addiction and it only takes one very short moment of craziness that brings you down rapidly with a bang. I have had many relapses over a 10 year period of denial that there is no problem and it is going to get better. I really hope you find the strength to move on, don't let them beat you. Best wishes and take care.

John

Hi John just want to wish you luck, I have done 20 months - relapsed . gambled for 3 months, did a year free then a relapse lasting a year (last march to now)

similar age to you, probably a similar story

Have you been to a GA meeting yet? I know you mentioned it being in a rough area but s**t, even if you got mugged or took a beating (which I doubt would happen) isn't that what is happening each time you gamble ? get your a**e to a meeting mate, get a taxi there and back if its that bad (I am in sheffield so a similar city and have to walk there and back) what will the taxi cost you compared to a days gambling ? im sure someone will give you a lift if you ask after the meeting

Give it a try mate seriously, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain, it could be the thing that really kick starts your recovery

best of luck chief

So I am back on day 2.

Saturday was an absolute nightmare had a few bets on the football and they all lost huge disappointment and couldn't accept the loss , it properly got to me and ended up pumping £20.00 after £20.00 on the online roulette.

I had lost nearly £350.00 when I started winning and at one point reached £2500.00 more money than I had in a long while , I kept thinking about what I could do with that money and slowly started to lose , in reality I couldn't win because I couldn't stop , with thoughts of a holiday in my mind and putting back nearly £1000.00 I withdrew the money from my account and walked away , I had turned over almost £15 grand in a mad session and my mind was in absolute pieces.

Enough is enough yes gambling can be sometime seen as easy money but mentally it really took it's toll on me.

Onwards and upwards no betting yesterday or today and I must abstain completely to get back on the right paths.

Back on day 2.

Saturday was another nightmare.

Went drinking in Bradford town centre and bookies on every corner , the friends who I drink with like a gamble and the pub we were in had the horses on , won a few quid like you do and ended up going to the bookies over the road to play the dreaded fobt.

I wasted my entire afternoon on the bloody things , mentally drained and winning and losing at alarming rates.

Saturday for once I did quite well on the machines but the hours I wasted when I should have been in the pub with my friends is quite frankly disgraceful on my part.

I looked back yesterday at what could have been and in times when I need money more than ever having lost one of my major contracts at work I should have known better.

The fobt always means you are ten minutes away from ruin such is the speed it takes your money.

So here I am on day 2 - new focus.