Day 14 GF. Couple a evening drinks in the sunshine with a supportive friend. Some guy was counting up an enormous pile of pound coins he’d obviously just pulled out of the bandit. Might have been an edgy moment, but no all that came to mind was the cost and loss that must have happened to get there. Even if not his losses, someone else’s and that is all basically the same thing.
Felt much better about the piles of 50p and pounds from the car boot this weekend than any guilty gambling payout could ever achieve or indeed has ever achieved as it’s always been tainted no matter how I convinced myself otherwise at the time.
Life can be difficult, but it can be amazing too.
Day 14 Gf. It seems everywhere you go there are high street bookies. But they hold no terrors for me. No doubt the demons will come, but I’ll be ready and have coping strAtegy in place.
Day 15 GF and an important day as well. Needed to have the credit card with me for life reasons, and zero temptation. In fact the desire to make people proud of me, show that I can do it was and is way stronger. Keep that safe filing in the right place. The day isn’t over yet of course, and there’s many miles left on the road, in more ways than one, but today is a good day.
Yesterday was day 16 Gf. Exhausted after an overly long day, and surely that’s a situation that makes you vulnerable. To be honest gambling never crossed my mind, too busy surviving getting through the day, and then sleeping. Today is another day, and I’ll write about it later
Day 17 GF. A short session out after work, which used to be a trigger. No more. No temptation. But keeping busy remains important.
Day 18 & 19 GF have passed by too. I need to keep more focused and do this daily, routine is important, and focus and keeping the irrational instincts under rational control. Those instincts haven’t shown any signs of surfacing, but the analytical brain knows they will be back when I’m least prepared, so staying prepared is important. Perspective and rational routine, along with stress/anxiety reduction all helps
Day 21 GF complete. Cards back in the safe. No failure, no temptation and no need to put temptation in the way either.
Normality will take a long time, perhaps never, to return so keeping controls in place is the new normal. And I’m OK with that
Day 22 GF. Another payday. Everything safely transferred bar a few quid to cover daily expenses. And it’s a larger amount, which is very pleasing as a sign of a tiny level of trust. Never a time to get complacent, but somewhere in the pleasure/pain spectrum there has to be some safe pleasure. A good day
Day 23 GF has been and gone. Why aren’t there enough hours in the day?
Day 24 GF. Counselling #2. Deeeper understanding of the links between feelings/emotions and irrational activity. More techniques to practice & understand more. Refilling the broken links in the brain, very interesting and more importantly relevant and something I can relate to. Another good day.
Day 25 GF. It flew by. Gambling never entered the equation.
Day 26 GF, another week ends with no temptation and better understanding. Staying cautiously positive, and enjoying watching the money be spent on clearing debt rather than increasing it.
Days 27 & 28 GF. Super weekend, alls looking good with the world.
Day 29 GF. All good. First tine I’ve thought about it making this blog entry. Life is good.
Day 30 GF. A thought clicked through my head in an irrational way, so I calmed it down, rationalised it and it’s gone. Coping success, even if it was a little unexpected
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
