NEED PEOPLE... I just need people like you to be there for me right now

duncanmac wrote: Signal Fella thanks for the post I will always be able to jump aside and hopefully help where I can. For me I often gambled to escape my problems in life, not that they were financial one's I looked to fix but either emotional or physiological problems, whichever I simply spent twenty years and some not facing ahead but running the other way and to boot I created a new pile of problems through my compulsion to gamble. What are you after?? A life without problems? Because fella I think my first five years here I was trying to live like that, to pretend I didn't have problems. Life is hard, life for a recovering addict is it harder? Only if we give to addictions call. Today I choose to face every problem, the outcome of some is I choose not to care too much, they are problems that don't contain enough significance. Leaving time to face the problems that will have a profound effect on my life, a problem solved is the door opening to the next one. In challenging them I know I am moving forward. Emotionally and physiologically I am better for doing so. I guess you might say that I am learning to make choices or more prudently I have created the ability to have a choice. As for the carnage I brought to life, fella I have made amends financially and mentally wherever possible to do so and will never forget. But living in the past?? What is to be gained A coulda, woulda, shoulda mentality, a loop you will find leads back to addiction. We have crossed the line, now is to stay on the right path whatever it puts ahead. You can overcome the future, for sure you cannot change the past. I believe that you have my email if you need me, you know where to find me. Right a birthday party to cook for, one of the fellows party have travelled from new Zealand to be here and they have choosen to eat in my dining room. Abstain and maintain Duncs stepping forward never back.

Just wanted to wish everyone a great GF weekend.

Just remember... Don't destroy 2019 before it's even started properly. We have a long way to go this year so we'll make the journey, slowly and surely... And have ourselves a great Christmas at the end.

Gambling WILL NOT help us in any way, shape or form with this promise to ourselves. Stay away from it.

Spot on signalman gambling won’t help one bit

Thanks for your message on my diary Signalman. I hope you're having a great weekend too. Massive congrats for smashing 150+ gamble free days. Keep up the good work mate you're doing great.

Hey signalman. Thanks for looking in on me and your continued support for us all. I know you still have a few dark days sometimes but always remember how far you have come. You have done brilliant so far and every gf day is a victory for us. For me, gambling consumed my life for so long I had forgot how to live and how good life can be. Gambling took everything from me, not just the money, but my hopes and dreams and one of the most precious things we possess...time! I won't get the money or time back that I wasted on gambling but believe it or not, I am not bitter! I made the choice, me alone, and I am determined not to let it consume me anymore. I now realise that I have a future without gambling. I can do whatever I want!! Don't get lost in the past, embrace what you have done and make the future you want to have! Stay strong my friend.

Hey Marcella. Thanks so much for your comments - a visit from you is always much appreciated! :o)

Marcella wrote: I won't get the money or time back that I wasted on gambling but believe it or not, I am not bitter! I made the choice, me alone, and I am determined not to let it consume me anymore. I now realise that I have a future without gambling. I can do whatever I want!!

It's comments like this that make me certain that you got this and you're gonna be ok. May God bless you with the beautiful future you deserve.

Just wanted to say well done on your progress so far.

Remember reading your thread just after my last bet. Great to see someone sticking with it. Gives strength to many others on here.

Thanks so much K2.

When I entered GamCare I was a mess. One big mess. My life had become meaningless. I almost took my own life as I genuinely thought it would be best for my wife and son to be rid of me as I was powerless to addiction in all forms. I remember talking it up a lot in my first post about how I was going to beat this but in truth i didn't believe a jot of what I was saying. The next day I was consumed by urges to try and win all my money back and almost threw in the towel on my life.

But you know what? Almost 6 months on I realise it's true, I am powerless to addiction... However that doesn't mean I have to succumb. Through a process of self-discovery, persual of wisdom and insight and instilled discipline I have developed tools by which I can transcend my addictive nature. I believe I will do this now.

I am powerless to addiction but it doesn't mean I have to give in to it. I am powerless to a rainstorm or thunderstorm, I have no control over those when they come... But they do not have to render me immobile and helpless if they come... I can still go about my business in spite and despite their presence - just have to do things differently.

This is how I feel about addiction. It's there, it's not going anywhere but as long as I keep doing my business differently - 'there' is where it will stay and it will never come back to 'here' which is where it's been all my adult life.

When I destroyed my life (for the umpteenth time) last year I lost all hope. I thought I was the only one with this kind of problem and of such extremes, I thought noone would understand or care. I was wrong. I hope someone reading this just coming onto GamCare takes the essence of this post away with them which of course is that there is hope, there is a future for you if you want it. You need to work for it though. If you aren't willing to work then expect to fail as addiction works bloody hard, which is why it is so good at what it does. You need to outwork your addiction.

Hi mate , hope you’re ok, i like this,,,, This is how I feel about addiction. It's there, it's not going anywhere but as long as I keep doing my business differently - 'there' is where it will stay and it will never come back to 'here'.... regards bobbyj/ rainman

signalman wrote:

I am powerless to addiction but it doesn't mean I have to give in to it. I am powerless to a rainstorm or thunderstorm, I have no control over those when they come... But they do not have to render me immobile and helpless if they come... I can still go about my business in spite and despite their presence - just have to do things differently. This is how I feel about addiction. It's there, it's not going anywhere but as long as I keep doing my business differently - 'there' is where it will stay and it will never come back to 'here' which is where it's been all my adult life.

I think I like this one as much as the Chocolate Orange 🙂

Hi Signalman,

Your story has been a rollercoaster. Ive been sat here reading your first and last posts. Your an amazing and truly beautiful soul. You mentioned that the addiction opened you up, but what I can sense is, you are transforming in to a newer and refined version of yourself! You should be kind to yourself and believe that we are just humans who will err. The magnificent and celebratory fact is you are on the road to recovery.

I am on this journey too, I lost my self respect and job through my gambling illness but now I am ready to banish it from my life. I have had a Gambling free start to 2019 and I take each day as it comes.

Take care.

i

Thanks for your continued support signalman

Boro wrote:

Thanks for your continued support signalman

When you haven't posted for a few days then you post my heart sinks as I generally know what the content is before I open it. When you stay in touch daily it seems to work better. Keep talking mate... I'm still dubious if April will make a difference but I hope you've promised to yourself that if it doesn't and you find another way then FINALLY you will admit this problem has you licked and you will get some proper help.

Or you may just fall out of love with gambling come April. To be honest I almost want to say either way is a win/win for you as one way or another you tread a different path rather than this merry go round you're on.

Stay strong bud.

I did have a good rant mate because admin modified my post. But I calmed down an deleted it. Not happy about getting an email off them but I get over