new beginning

progress not perfection...

5 days a start, and for now atleast make sure the Toad stays in the background 🙂

Probably a sign regarding the traps. Also remember, whether you want to work this Saturday for the turfs. The choice is yours?

Paul,

Would you give GA another go? Or even a first go if you've never tried it?

CW

Hi CW,

I have never been with GA. I'm going to have to wise up right now. I need time out.

Thankyou Volcano for your comments.you are right i am sick of funding the turfs.

Damm that. Really sick of this now.

Paul

Still suggest GA - gambling has you beaten, you need to try something different, to make changes, it might as well be that. And not carrying cash.

BW,

CW

Paul, 3 questions..

Did you bet in the bookies.?

If so how did you get in there - have you not self excluded yet?

Why dd you have cash with you?

These things are within your control Paul.

Agree with CW - GA might just give that additional support you need.

All the best

Hello Everyone,

Another crazy day. On the fobts down ВЈ450. I managed to lose it then win ВЈ550. I am a nervous wreck now. Absolutely wrecked. I broke all the rules today and escaped. When i was down £450 i felt empty. Now i got it back I went to the bank and lodged it.

No more turfs today.

Paul.

The penny drops from varying heights......

Quick sand there Paul

So pleased that you managed to lodge your "winnings". I am sure that is a weight lifted from your shoulders. Congratulations. I have been in that position before. Life is good because you got away with it!

I don't give up on people but c'mon. The vicious circle goes round but you are not willing to get off for any extended period of time.

Self exclusion - nope.
Don't carry cash - nope
Put any barrier in necessary - nope.
Honesty - yes and nope.

Yes because you posted on here. Nope because I bet your wife isn't aware.

Perhaps it would have been better if you didn't recoup the money. Might have been your rock bottom.

Please read your diary again. It might help you

Paul , buddy , buddy , buddy ! C 'mon , you know every shape except the one you need to keep broken my friend ! At least limit the damage you can do to yourself and exclude from as much as you can ? Look after yourself, my friend !

My dear Paul,Toad,Paul, Toad, exactly, you are still not ready to 109% commit to your recovery, I feel you still want reassurance somewhere, listen gambling won't give you any reassurance whatsoever, it lies, and wants to devour all of you and then spit you

Only you can realise this, you yourself and you, sailing along with the support of your loved ones and this forum, is a false reassurance and you know that, the thing is Paul, on this forum we are all on that same boat, but we come on here to try and stop, you are still coming through as wanting support to carry on with what you are doing.

We are all on this rocky boat no matter how many days, weeks, months, years we are on, but we are all after just that one thing in our lives, to abstain from gambling and maintain, and then let recovery in, Are you up for this, folks do slip, but they were already up for this, but are you ready yet??. Your choice my friend, tough I know but it is the only way to go forwards.

Suzanne xxx

Thankyou Alan , suzanne, Balvaird and volcano,

My diary is terrible. Beyond a joke. Tonight I will read my diary and all the good advice I have been given. Maybe it will sink in. I had a lucky escape today. ВЈ15 on an 18-1 virtual horse got me ВЈ270 back then ВЈ4 and £3 on roulette numbers......what a mug i have become.

A MUG in capital letters,
Paul.

Paul,

You are not a mug. You are caught up in the throws of addiction. We have all been there and daily we try never to go back.

Keep fighting this and stay positive

Paul, you are not a mug, none of us are, it's this addiction it controls us 100%, your diary is not a joke, we can all relate to it,

This is a horrible addiction, don't despair, keep trying, you will. Get there in your own way,and I along with others will support you all the way, because we are on that same boat that can tip at any time.

You are not a waster, you have taken thst wrong turning, and you are not sure of yourself yet how to change direction for good.

I believe in you, I understand, and I know you can turn toady around to be a toad/PPaul.that you truly want.

Come on Toad you are better than this hideous self destructive addiction.

It all starts with self confidence,hard I know, but every day we do abstain, we do look at ourselves in that mirror and we get get that little bit more confident,

You can do this and you can by looking in that mirror and being kind to you,

I believe in you, because I do understand the madness that you are going through and its to politely horrible, this addiction won't let us go, we have to make thst choice, even after we have been crucified by it,Rooting for you and supporting you, My friend.

Suzanne xxx

Paul , as with many things in life you can only do what you feel able to do but sometimes we must dig that bit deeper ?

Stay safe fella !

Hello Balvaird, i wished and Alan,

I gambled for an hour solid at lunch today and got my money back. After work I went back in and won £80.

Now it has to stop. I will go home and gather my thoughts.

I want to thankyou sincerly Balvaird and Alan for your help. Also I wished put so much effort into her post. It is all appreciated.

Tomorrow I will bring £3 to work.
I need to stop this.

Today could have finished me. Tomorrow Things must change.

I pray for strength to stop.
Paul.