new beginning

Morning Paul , thanks for the kind words my friend really appreciated , I think we have to accept that our addiction is always going to be there waiting for a moment when we allow our guard to drop , so we really have to be vigilant and ready to deal with urges that may crop up from time to time .

I hope the trip to London was a success and all's good in your world at the moment ? , Look after you Paul and Toad will be just fine my friend !.

Best wishes ...............Alan

Hello All,

Thankyou Alan your post made me smile so thanks for that. The doctor has given the go ahead for the IVF to go ahead so good news.

We had a great time in London. Saw Big Ben and Buckingham Palace. Such a lovely place.

The sun was shining too so really made it. The Hotel was the nicest i have ever stayed in too.

When i got home there was a letter from my phone provider a default notice and we are trying to get a house. I phoned them and it was their mistake. We were so stressed.

Phoned mortgage provider and the main mortgage is through. Thankfully!!!!

All good. Try to take it one day at a time.

Toad.

Hi Paul , sound's as though everything's positive and coming together for you , really pleased buddy and also that you enjoyed your visit to London .

It's a good job you didn't go by car as it would proberbly have been Toad away ? ( Sorry Paul , couldn't resist ) !

Have a great day fella !

Hello All,

It's been a better day. I haven't gambled in days. I really should count the days.

I haven't had a bet since 14th so that's 5 days. So:--

Day 5,

Alan that made me laugh. I really enjoyed London. Very memorable and we will be back more but without my car hehe.

Have a great day,
Toad.

well done toad, you're like me i really struggle to get past a couple of days without a gamble. see if you can beat my gamble free days best of 30, adam

Hi Adam,

I really do. The only good thing is that I don't carry money these days.

I left work there and spent £6 on the lotto in the turfs so i am back to day 1.

Am i disappointed? A bit yes but i left with £20 i had in my pocket so some positives.

I need to try harder. It is a constant battle.

Toad.

Hi folks,

Really annoyed with myself. I was at a different part of town and ended up in the turfs.

I only had £2 on me. Lost it all.

I am a compulsive gambler.

Toad.

Hello All and thankyou SGT for your good advice,

Monday again. Let's have a good day. Stay positive. No gambling.

Toad.

Hi All,

Disaster of a day. I had £15 with me.

1st mistake!
2nd mistake i went to the bookies.

Did the lot in on fobt. Gambled my lunch money. Nothing to eat.

A girl in work kindly offered me a ready made tuna salad. I am starving.

Another fella got engaged at the weekend and brought buns in for 3pm.

Asked my wife to wire ВЈ10. Giving £3 to cancer charity.

Feel c**P but that's what gambling does to you.

Hungry Toad lost his hop today.

0746 hours Stay positive. No gambling.

1431 hours. Gambled.

Do you really want to stop?

In your current mindset carrying £15 is stupid but you keep doing it.

No money = no fobt

SE = no fobt

Like my old school report - could do better.

Try and focus for your sake

Paul / Toad , or Roger rabbit ? No idea these day's who ypu want to be Paul but I do despair everytime I log on here and see you doing the same thing day in , day out . A couple of weeks ago you were in bit's Paul , a devastated man worried sick about all the problems that lay ahead of you , your relationship with your wife , your in laws , problems with the house and with the IVF that you were about to undertake , you get yourself straight with that set of problems when you were Paul and dealing with it and now all back to square one since the return of the Toad , I mirror Balvaird's question above Paul " Do you really want to stop " ?.

Hi Alan and Balvaird,

It gets worse. Just done £10 in.

So tomorrow i am self excluding from that final bookies near work.

I am annoyed with myself. I will change.

Toad.

Wow, I have been away from your diary for a while but obviously a toad never changes its warts! When I last read your diary in any detail Paul was in (a degree of) control. Reading your last few posts took me back 6 months - also I thought you had self excluded months ago? Nothing changes if you don't change! Suggest you read back through your diary from day 1 as I think that you have had all the advice anyone can give - just up to you to decide which bits you will act on.

All the best

But Paul , it's always the same , there's always going to be one more bookies near work , alway's one that youv'e not excluded from ! . Sometimes it's about you Paul , any exclusion can be got around , you can alway's find one more bookies to play a Fobt in , I always offer my support unconditionally to those making an effort to stop gambling but were back to the old saying of " Nothing changes if nothing changes " , If you don't want to give up Paul then so be it , just accept that it's not for you and carry on having a few quid here and there and be happy but if you really do want to be gamble free , then just give it your all for once .

You deserve it Paul, your family deserve it and also the good members of the forum who offer there continued support deserve it too .

Just make the right decision Paul !

Best wishes Alan

Hi Paul ,

I am new on here and have been reading your thread , it is a hell of a roller coaster ride , I was really proud of you as you seemed to be heading in the right direction but things have gone backwards and that is such a shame , the help and support from the people on here is incredible and I am only 2 days In after a 5 yr addiction and I really believe the threads I continue to read will push me harder and motivate me to achiev my goals , my goals will never be achieved as soon as I reach 50 days I want 100 the 150 and so on . if you really want quit Paul the help is available but you need to want to quit these diary pages alone will not enable you to quit you will need to be mentally ready for the challenge . I have only been on here properly for 2 days but feel like a new man already . Hope to spk soon mate