Not to late

Hi nottolate,

Welcome aboard, I wish you the very best on your recovery and look forward to reading your posts.

Best wishes

Suzanne x

Nottolate wrote:

Okay here goes. Decided to make a diary and determined that it will be an ongoing success story for other to follow and draw some inspiration from. Here's my story .......

Grand National day 2005. Never been in a bookies (and still haven't to this day) the GF asked me if we were puting a bet on. I said ok why not. Wasn't going into town so went on line and innocently opened an account to place a one off bet. Cutting a long story short, fast forward 2 years, one remortgaged house and Cica £50K totally wasted on a Roulette wheel and I was feeling pretty sick with myself. Told the GF what was happening and stopped altogether. No urges, no slips and on line casinos were the furthest thing from my mind. Moved house, great job, nice car, holidays.... Life was not just good it was great. Fast forward to 2014 and the 'Big C' enters my immediate families life for the first time. Devastating to watch your loved one go through such an awful time. I've tried to analyse what drew my back to the Wheel and can only think it was a release from the reality of the situation I found myself in. Maybe it was my coping mechanism? Anyway, I'm rambling..... Through 2014 I 'dabbled' here and there but always with 100's not 1's or 2's. Through luck managed to stay in the black (excuse the pun). Got to just before Christmas and found out another family member had 'it'. I snapped, played like a demon, didn't care. I had savings and went through them no problem. Fortunately I had my moment of clarity and stopped before all my savings went. I suppose in a way I'm lucky having read a lot of the posts on here. I still have savings, money in my current account and owe nothing on credit cards but I've still blown £7.5k that I'll never get back. I do have a good job and very fortunate to be able to reimburse my savings over the coming months (I'll always be £7.5k below were I should be though) I know I have a problem and I'm determined to break the cycle of chasing losses. It ends in now ! I'm focused on other things now which will make my life better and give my that Buzz in a different way (turning into a fitness freak). Anyway that's me. Really sorry for the long intro but that felt good. I'll carry on posting and it will be all good. Stay Strong People. X. By the way I'm gamble free in 2015 and long may it continue !

Welcome and I hope you take Gamcare on board.

All the best and keep sharing

Tri

Good luck nottolate, the roulette wheel has got a lot to answer for in many cases,including mine.

I'm having no difficulty at the moment with playing again. It's the last thing on my mind.... However I'm really struggling with the Guilt, self loathing and Shame of what I've done. Little Sleep and the sick feeling in my stomach just won't pass. I'm hopeing time will ease all of these, we shall see. I've closed my account and still 100% determined that I'll never go back to that dark place. Running is a great escape for me and I find myself making plans while I do which is really good. Once I start to reimburse the savings account I'll start to feel better and that will start this month on pay day. Staying Strong 🙂

Thank you for sharing your story . A very honest and brave post .

There's a phrase that a friend of mine on here Duncan says - Be kind to yourself

Hello Mr Diary. I've decided that I'm going to post how I get on repaying my savings account as motivation. Seeing the savings going up and not down should be a good indicator that I'm staying strong and focused. My madness cost me £7.5k in total across 2014.

Today £250 came off that. New target £7.25k

I can do this !

I've blown the cash and only have myself to blame. The sick feeling in the pit of my stomach will fade in time I'm sure and im 100% focused on never going back. I've read many of the posts on here and taken on board the comments I've received. I count myself very luck to of found this site before this went to far. I thank everyone who has contacted me and wish everyone of you all the very best in beating this. I know you all can. Be Strong People

Hi nottolate,

Well done on pushing through that sick feeling, as you build the days up, it will fade and every day you will feel stronger.

Stay strong keep going forwards and don't look back that's gone now and good riddance .

Suzanne xx

Chuffed to bits. Had a few beers and instead of sitting playing roulette I'm having a rice cake and going to bed. 16 days 🙂 stay strong people:)

Well done on 16 days,glad your feeling the benefits of a gamble free life already.
The money is important,but regaining self respect and peace is more important to me.

Keep strong my friend.
All the best trigger

Hi NotToLate - we're in this for the long haul....this time next year 2015 GF.....we can do it. Thanks for post on my diary. Keep strong, one day at a time

Mo

Make a pact with yourself today to not be defined by your past. Sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your hard work isn't what you get for it, but what you become for it. Shake things up today! Be You...Be Free...Share.

Mr Diary

My journey continues into day 23. Today I have put another £1k into my savings. New total I 'owe' it £6.25k from the initial £7.5k I 'gave away'... Feeling good,strong and focused on the future. Holiday booked and looking forward not back 🙂 .... Stay Strong People !

60 today.... Another £1000 paid back to the savings account and still on track. Happy Monday everyone. Stay strong

It's been a while but for all the right reasons 🙂 Not a wheel in sight and no urges to play one either. The savings are looking a bit like their old selves again and a holiday is on the horizon. Not getting complacent though. Still need to make sure the monster is locked in the cage , so staying busy with other 'healthy' things. 138 days with no FOBT's. Staying Strong