Four down. Next....
Yesterday was my 55th day without a bet. I owe you a few too.
Been away at the in laws for a long weekend. Pretty full on with kids, chocolate and general all round fun stuff. Still no gambling though!!
Had a good chat with my brother in law, and he put a slightly different view of my problem across. It was along the lines of we all have our foibles. It’s just yours got a bit out of hand and you need help and support to control it. And we’re here to help and support.
It felt a but like people were tip toeing around me, avoiding the massive white elephant in room. My father in law asked if I was ok, and how I was doing, and if it was ok to talk about it? I said I’d rather talk about it, just not when the kids were about.
So all in all, a good few days. Me and partner are still talking, and putting plans together for up and coming holidays. Although I did put my arm out to put around her shoulder and she just walked straight past. It didnt upset me though, or annoy or frustrate. It just wasn’t the time. She’s the only one who knows when that is.
And last night, i had a dream and in it, i was trying to place a bet. It was just like i used to do- online, football match, same bookies. I could hear 2 voices whilst I was looking at the screen. One saying “go on. It’s only £1. No one will know. And it’s free money when it wins". The other voice was saying “no, dont do it. Think of the consequences. Think about how hard you’ve worked to get here. It'll be another lie. It'll be the start of a slippery slope. And there’s only ever one winner".
I woke up before I could see what happened. I hope I chose the second voice!!
So 55 down. Next....
Two down. Next....
Yesterday was my 57th day without a bet. It was a pretty good day. Productive at work and at home, and generally felt good all day! Not sure why, but I’ll take it!!
So 57 down. Next...
One down. Next....
Yesterday was my 58th day without a bet. And again, all in all a pretty good day.
Although I did snap at the eldest yesterday morning. He got upset and stormed off. Usually I would have stormed off too, but yesterday I went and found him and explained why I had snapped, and what could be done next time to limit the situation and to stop is both feeling like we did. I’ve not reacted like that in a while, but a: it felt good and b: I think he took a lot from it. Only time will tell!!
Had a good run too, in my new running shoes. Dont know if it was the new shoes, the psychology of having new shoes or the pink hair spray go faster stripe my daughter sprayed in my hair, but it was one of the quickest I’ve ever done.
Quick, but still enough time to clear my head.
No thoughts or urges to gamble, nor any more dreams of it either!
So 58 down. Next....
Three down. Next....
Yesterday was my 61st day with out a bet. As usual, a pretty manic weekend has led to no daily updates. But all is good.
Had a leaving do at work on Friday. I’m not one for a big fuss but it was good. My mate who I used to have a weekly bet with asked me if I was going to join back in. This was a tricky question to answer. He’s a mate, but from work and i don’t want people at work to know as it may jeopardise a future job. I simply told him “no. But I’ll tell you about it another day". He was happy with that!
And yesterday, I told my dad about my problem. I didn’t want to tell him, but not for reasons of embarrassment or shame. I only see him a few times a year, and even then he just sits and watches the world go by. Or the TV! So we dont have the most active of relationships. But I told him anyway. I think he was a bit shocked to be honest, but a reply of “at least your getting help now" was a good outcome!
So a pretty busy weekend, all gamble free. I’m really enjoying watching football for football now, and during a match yesterday, there was an advert on for something. I think it was prostate cancer, where they explain about the badge that the TV presenters etc wear. It mentioned about the number of men that die each day due to the condition. My dads wife commented “what about all the young men that commit suicide because of all the gambling adverts that are shown on his channel. No one mentions them. They don’t get an advert.”
At this point, I’d not told my dad so didnt want to say much. I just agreed with her. But it’s a very valid point. Maybe an ad campaign like that would work. Or be beneficial to some. As I’ve said to people before, this addiction is different. There are no physical signs as with drink or drugs. For me it was very well hidden as I thought I couldn’t discuss it, and suffered in silence. Would a hard hitting ad campaign have helped? Who knows. But it must be worth a go!
So 61 down. Next....
'Gambling with lives' is a charity trying to stop ads and raise awareness. Contact them?
Gambling ads are a disgrace, the utter explosion has indeed contributed to me and most others having a life of misery.
should be a total ban end of, all bookies should be banned and only on course gambling aloud.
oh and kill the internet ?
Hi Jens
I notice you haven't updated your diary or been in the chat room for a while. I hope everything is ok with you. Check in when you get chance. It would be good to hear how you've been getting on
Hi Gareth. And thanks for your message. I'm good and on day 78 now. Still not gambling.
Life has got in the way of my diary and the chatroom I'm afraid. I'm now officially unemployed, so keeping myself busy and out of trouble!!
I did pop in the chat the other lunchtime. Had it all to myself so had a good chat with admin that day.
I'll be on again soon. Don't worry, I've not forgotten about you!!
Hope all is good with you too!?
Ah good to hear you are still going strong!! All good at my end. Shame about the job situation. Keeping busy sounds like a good plan. Hope something turns up for you soon.
Take care
Just a quick update to say time flies. It's now 214 days since my last bet. It's one more than yesterday and that's all that matters x
Well done Jens, that is a huge achievement. Thank you for sharing here and showing what is possible.
Kind regards and keep up the good work,
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