Ready to start this path again

Day 250!! Not the best of weather days today but feeling positive and super pleased to have reached another milestone. Gambling is in the past and that's where it's going to stay. I don't need or want it in my life. I'm vigilant to the feelings returning but there is no way I will ever do that to myself or my loved ones again.

Less than 100 days to go to the 1 year mark!! 266 for me today and pleased to say I'm surviving what is usually a tricky time of year for me without gambling. Yes money is still tight but I'm worth more than wasting my hard earned cash on something which in the end was giving me no pleasure what so ever. I'm still vigilant but with blocks in place and a different outlook in life gambling has no place in my life anymore. I can't wait for 2019 - this is going to be my year and the year I put my demons behind me for once and for all.

Happy new year everyone!

My trickiest time of the year (for gambling temptation) has passed and im still on the wagon! 9 months since my last gamble and i feel great. Still plenty of other changes to make in my life but 2019 feels like its going to be a great year and im determined to make it to the end of the year without having a single bet. In less than 3 months i will be gamble free for 1 year and that will be an amazing moment for me. Im still vigilant but it feels like its in touching distance now. My life is different and long may it continue to improve.

6 days into the new year and still gf. 282 days in total now - just over 2 weeks and I will reach the 300 mark! As much as I still have worries about money trying to cure them by gambling isn't an option or a draw for me anymore. One addiction is under control now I need to focus on the other problems in my life. I can do this - if I crawl back from the depths of the horrid gambling addiction I know I can do anything I put my mind to. I have got a new job, I want a new body and to keep on the gf path. I have a good feeling about 2019 and I am ready to face it head on!

Hi Samorgo, just wanted to congratulate you on your GF days, hope you're feeling good about yourself! Reading about success is keeping me going right now. Thanks!

Thanks Lil I hope you are still going strong.

I'm now only 2 days away from 300 days clear. I've been on holiday for a week which was absolutely lovely. Money is still a struggle but I'm starting to learn to live life. Today was the first day in 3 years that I didn't work longer than my contracted hours. I walked home enjoying the fresh air and then cooked a healthy dinner when I got home. I'm so proud of myself. It may be almost a year since I last gambled but finally I feel like I'm moving on. I now understand what living is and it's certainly not being stuck in front of a laptop screen waiting for the big win but slowly dying inside with each ВЈ lost.

Hi Samorgo,

A huge congratulations to you!

You say that you finally feel very proud of yourself and your post is certainly very uplifting and full of energy for the future. You really have accomplished a lot.

Stay strong and keep going on this path you have chosen for yourself.

Kind wishes

Gabriele

Thank you for your kind message gabriele.

Woo hoo 300 days!!!! I feel amazing to have reached this landmark and it now feels the big one (a whole year) is just around the corner!

Now im more settled emotionally im ready to tackle me debt head on. Tomorrow is pay day for me so from tomorrow im going to record every penny i spend so i can assess any waste and try to find ways to save money and pay back my debts sooner. Its been a long time coming but im finally ready to face reality. Gambling will not pay back all that ive wasted but these positive steps will lead me to my ultimate goal of debt free.

Congratulations Samorgo on 300 days gamble free.

A wonderful achievement which sends out a strong message to others on the diaries.

Keep up the good work...stephen

Thanks for your kind message Stephen, I hope you are going strong too.

Just popping by to celebrate 310 days gamble free! Still going strong and resolute to never gambling again. Still plenty of other things to change in my life but gambling is behind me. I will check in again soon...

325 days for me!! Struggling with money this month so can't wait for payday next week... at least I haven't wasted any money on gambling so still going well on that front.
I can't believe one year is in sight!! How things have changed and im so proud of myself.

Hi Samorgo

Just had a read of your diary and wanted to say a big well done in all the changes you have made and of course the abstinence. Nearly a year and every day you don’t gamble is a day richer.

Not sure if you have done in the past but some of my debts were from payday loans. If so check out this link...

https://debtcamel.co.uk/payday-loan-refunds/

you maybe in a position to reclaim some of the scandalous interest back that these sharks made us pay while preying on our vulnarability.

Stay strong

Matt

Thanks for the message Matt. I will look into your suggestion as I did use payday loans to cover the shortfall that my habit made.
With less than a week to go until the one year clear mark I can't believe how difficult I (and my addiction) had made my life - financially, emotionally, socially. I really had reached rock bottom a year ago...
Nowadays I've got a job I love (rather than staying in a job I hated just because of the pay), just yesterday I went to a social gathering with my friends (something I would never have done a year ago because I couldn't afford it, felt ashamed and if I'm totally honest would rather have stayed stuck to my computer or phone waiting for the big win) and I've recently started looking after myself - so far I've lost 1.5 stone in weight, I've started running again (something I haven't done in years) and I've started taking in interest in how I look - haircuts, make up (once again something I couldn't afford when gambling or as I believed at the time a waste of money when I could use it to gamble with!). My life is totally different... That's not to say gambling doesn't call my name when I think of the debts and how long it's going to take to repay them, or when I'd like something I can't afford (like a new sofa) but I know gambling won't clear my debts or buy me a sofa it will just ruin my life so I choose not to.
I can't explain how grateful I am to everyone who has supported me over the past year including those who have just listened when I needed to share how I felt. I will be forever grateful to this website for giving me a safe space to express myself in and to reconnect with my emotions. For anyone reading this who is still struggling with gambling I just want to tell you gambling may seem to be your friend - it is an all encompassing familiarity which will ruin your life. It makes you forget the wonderful things available outside the 4 walls of the room in which you are playing - friends, family, nature, fresh air, your wellbeing. None of these need your money but they do need your attention so have a break from that screen and take a look around you, if you are alone - it's the gambling that has created the isolation. You have support here and just outside your room there is a life waiting to be found. Good luck and go get it xx

One year ago today I made the decision never to give another penny to online gambling and today I'm celebrating reaching the one year mark.
A lot has changed over the year. While I still have urges to try my luck the vast majority of my time now is spent living. I don't spend every minute of my waking life hooked to online gaming and not sleeping for days on end to keep going hoping that the big win would happen.
I'm so pleased I took the plunge and registered for gamstop as I know without it I wouldn't have made it this long despite my determination to give up. I'm still tempted from time to time but now I recognise that it is linked to my emotions and that the urge will pass.
I will still check in for time to time because I know it doesn't end here. I will have the addiction for life but I will continue to fight for a gamble free life.

Wow congratulations you should be very proud of yourself . I have gone a month without gambling and i know how difficult it is . I have urges quite often and like you say it depends on my mood but luckily it passes and i get through and the next day comes. Like you i think a Gamstop has been a major factor in this recovery and Gamban otherwise willpower on its own wouldn’t have been enough