reborn on the 4th July

Fantastic Castle ,....love the Independance day milestone and one to remember as the end of an era ....

Wow...all that work , head down and motored through day at a time and now the light is here ..

Well done Castle , it will feel wierd and like you're still waiting for something to happen but that will soon disappear ...

Absolutely thrilled for you

R and D xxx

Castle,

Very happy for you my friend. I remember posting on your diary many moons ago that good things will happen for you and I believe that this is the end of one chapter and the beginning of something new and beautiful and full of opportunities.

Tomso.

Thanks everyone

To be honest everything has not sank in yet nothing feels different I suppose in time it will when decree absolut arrives and final payment is paid and even then I dont think it will straight away

I'm so ready for a break from work doin too many hours and just not switching off from it , just got one more week to work and its a tough one but it will pass and can finally relax , jess starts her 1st week of school hols so will be able to spend some time with her will try and get a day to myself as as much as I love her any parent knows its full on all the time with kids

Worked all day yesterday started at 6 finished just after 4 should av gone at 2 but no staff deliveries were late so had to stay , picked jess up but didn't do a great deal both went to bed at ten and both didn't wake till ten ,guess we both needed the sleep had a fab day though took jess and her friend to a big park with a little swimming pool and fountains but they both ended up in the river and loved it

Really staying focussed and that what's important I still see this is a massive stepping stone in my life and determined to make the most of it , no urges or desire to gamble in a really good mental routine with that and its up to me to keep it that way

Hi Castle,

I am so happy 4 u that ur divorce has come thru 4 u and u can start ur new chapter in ur life. U r a gr8 guy Castle and u deserve nothing but happiness. I hope u and Jessica have a gr8 holiday 2gether 🙂 If u get a chance go 2 the Tower Circus, I think Jess will really enjoy it 🙂

Have a gr8 day xx

Thanks charlotte

Was surprised to get another email bout my complaint and even more surprised when they offered another 60 quid off my final invoice , in the light of everything it might not seem a lot but mentally I had prepared myself to pay 180 and accounted for it so its a bit of a bonus , doesn't make me feel much different towards them I know if I had pushed harder it would prob had been jess but I did the right thing didn't need the stress

Just back from gym does feel good but feel not getting anywhere with it just burnin off what I'm eating struggling to find the balance , on a late tonite but loads to do so will keep me busy counting the days to my week off which is not like me normally but just so ready for a break

Thanks for post castle, appreciated. Good to know that you and many others benefit from my thoughts.

Keep it going with the gym, I've always found exercise and keeping fit essential, healthy body, healthy mind as they say. Even on days after out of control gambling and huge losses I always did either gym, run or long walk.

Thanks captain

Been really busy with work so time flying by as usual ban never work out if thats a good thing or not , still not received my decree nisi and final invoice so still no closure yet but not worried bout that the divorce is finalised just one last letter to arrive

Not seen jess for 2 days due to work but got her tonite and tomorrow after school getting close to her hols now a week tomorrow she goes away for 2 weeks on a cruise with her mom and new boyfriend that I'm ok with not worried on that front I will just miss her so much so need to plan ahead a little and stay prepared mentally strong can't let complacency play any part at all

Not sure if this helps or not Castle but they say to keep busy rewarding ourselves with healthy things ...self care....

For me that Includes shopping for and cooking nice food or excercise, being with pals ,reading or writing on the forum or perhaps taking a risk to go somewhere local that you wouldn't normally go...

I was going to start painting the rooms but its too nice out .

Wasn't looking forward to the traction engine rally but you know ..it was a great day out ...

Young Jess will be back before you know it.....joking aside in my list writing I do actually write lists for the next day..it kind of keeps my attention focussed away from worrying...

R and D xx

Hi Castle,

Just popping in to say hello and that I am reading and relating and supporting. Here's a great big hug just for being you, and for the way you continue to support others on this forum in spite of your own troubles. Take Care, -joanxxxx

Thanks Rachael Joan

Decree nisi came in the post today so phoned up and paid my final invoice straight away now I can get closure on all of this , thoughts of holding payment did cross my mind or even paying in bags of pennies just to prove a point but thats not me I can hold my head up high out of all this and know I'm the better person I av conducted myself in a proper manner all the way through this and thats something they can't say in my view , its over now and thats all that matters

Just one more day to work then off for the week so lookin forward to that will try and switch off from work rest well and sleep as much as possible , got loads of time with jess b4 her hols and got lots to do with days out planned

Hey Castle ...

Good for you for not acting on your "pennies " thoughts...thing is if we dump it on here it lessens our desire as whilst its swimming around in our heads it's starts taking on a life of its own....I should know as I'm the worlds worst!

I hope you will stay on the site despite closure .I guess for us all who are searching for balance the lows and the highs can be stressful..

It's good to see folks posting less as there is a bigger life there....I'm just still not ready to join it but like you all are I am keeping stable and a routine going ...

Have a proper switch off on your well deserved and long overdue break .

R and D xx

Thanks Rachael

Planning on sticking around for quite a while if honest can't see myself ever leaving this site its playing such an important part of my recovery I would be stupid to throw that away , a level of acceptance is there and now I embrace it as b4 I used to fear it with the usual questions how long will I be here will I ever recover become normal why can't I live a normal life

This is part of my life now its a place to get support a reminder of what life can be like if I take my foot of the pedal , I'm really not that naive to think now the divorce is over my life will be plain sailing yes it should improve the stress levels will go down with no more solicitors but life has a way of throwing a spanner in the works and this is the place for me to get it all out

I av never forgot the purpose of my diary its for me to benefit me others may read and comment and that is so appreciated I Dont think I could just log a daily journal just with my own thoughts , with supporting others that helps me to yes I do it to try and help others but I also know it helps me more

Also av to agree yes there is a bigger life out there but I'm not ready for that yet my life is nowhere complete still some more pieces to put in the jigsaw puzzle yet

Hi Castle, really pleased the decree Nisi has finally came through. It means a chapter in your life is now over and much better times lie ahead. You may feel a little 'flat' and somewhat empty because this ordeal has consumed you for do long. You may feel just relief and a weight lifted from your shoulders. Either way I hope you're ok. You're right about this site, it's my medicine, therapy and tonic all rolled into one. My bedrock of reason when my mind strays to darker choices. Hope you enjoy your break and the time spent with Jess, you deserve it all. You should be proud of the way you never gave up throughout the last couple of years whilst maintaining your integrity to the very end. This shows just how mentally tough you must be. Tough experiences in life, if handled in the correct manner, make us better people, and you've confirmed this.

Steve

That's the beauty of this site and without getting all 12 steppy and godish this is what they mean about the power of the rooms at meetings ...this site is like a big room.

Something invisible sort of holds and links people together as we are all using the site differently but it does have a life of its own in a good way ...

If we were to all meet without the history of this site we would probably be all sat there thinking we have noting in common and in lives our paths would not normally cross due to geographics or the way we all live...

I never go it now unless to work so no one would see me to socialise anyway ..lol lol

Im glad you will be still here Castle and as Steve said..a job well done to completion and handled really well.

R and D xxx

Hiya castle thanks for the post. I did try to keep the thread more relaxed as I know what you mean the threads can have a bit to much pressure to them or a few to many rules. I thought starting one would help me re focus after to many recent slips and hopefully help some others along the way - time will tell.

I think I'll be around a long time yet aswell I think if it helps then why change. It's great that you have a much better understanding of things now and your right life isn't now gonna come easy but there should be alot less stressful moments without those bloody solicitors about. There's a lot out there for you but your doing what you thinks right for you and that's all that matters. Your looking after you and your daughter and that's the most important thing. Have a great weekend.