Hi this is my story.
I am 24 and in May 2013 I came clean to my parents and girlfriend of my gambling problem.
Since the start of 2010 to May 2013 I had a gambling problem where I worked I had lost c£25k, I then went to counselling and was completely clean until January 2014.
Whether the next part is an excuse or not but in January 2014 having spoken with my parents I decided to look to buy my own home/apartment, however due to where I live the cost of houses is very high and for what I could afford can only be described as a cardboard box (tiny apartment). I feel this triggered something in my head for me to start gambling again, and so I did.
I have been gambling again since then and feel so weak and useless now.
I have now told only my mother as I still live at home and it was threatened in May 2013 if I gamble again I will be thrown out the family home. My mother doesn't want to tell my father as she doesn't want me kicked out, so I feel I have put her in a horrible situation.
My last bet was this afternoon and I have previously self excluded from a number of sites and was only now betting on one account, which I have now self excluded.
Can people give me their thoughts and comments as to how to move forward.
Normally everyone would say that when you hit rock bottom things start to turn. Makes sense as when you've gambled away the lot there is not much else you can do. So decide where your rock bottom is. Is it when you get kicked out of home? When all your help is lost?
Or you can take a conscious decision to start walking down a new path without gambling. You have managed that a whole year according to your story.
X drug addicts like Russel Brand decided to choose another path by abstaining from drugs. Life is all about choices. Choices create consequences that ALWAYS need to be dealt with in one way or the other. You can choose to be weak or be strong but it is ultimately about choice. Your choice.
I think the wisest words are these. What ever you do now. Life will ultimately teach you what you need to know, now or in ten or fifteen or maybe twenty years from now what you need to know. For me it took twenty five years to know. I do hope and pray it will take less time for you as your still young and can turn a corner faster if you choose to do that.
Good luck.
Thank you for your kind/wise words.
My mothers mother was an alcoholic and it eventually got the better of her and I know full well what my mother went through and how she felt so down about it, and now I am putting her through the same stress and worry through my addiction.
My girlfriend is finishing uni in June and will be with me full time then so hopefully I can keep my mind off gambling with spending time with her, we are both very sporty and outgoing so I'll be going out and enjoying myself without sitting by my iPad pressing buttons and swiftly seeing the money disappear.
I will be trying to post on a daily basis with how all is going and hopefully won't have to post a bad comment in the future.
Your in mucker.goodluck.
Hi
I think c43h has hit the nail on the head with his comments.
I would agree that at 24 you have found this site at the right time because you have so much time to sort out your life and stop gambling.
My first advice would be to try and self exclude yourself from all online sites and all bookies. Bookies have a duty of care to respect your wishes if you ask them to not let you in.
Secondly, make sure you use this site whether your thinking of gambling/just relapsed/or even if you have had a week of no gambling. We'll never judge and never criticise because we all know what it's like and how hard it is.
Thirdly, do not be hard on yourself if you relapse. It happens (to most) and it only takes 1 trigger to set it off. For you this time it was the desire to buy a house! But you went a long period and can do it again.
At the end of the day do not look back. The past is history and cannot be changed. Learn from it but don't judge yourself on it because it isn't who you are.
Good Luck
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