I have been haunted by problem, compulsive gambling for a number of years now, admittedly it has calmed down somewhat in recent months but it's like I cannot beat this illness/addiction it always follows me and lures me back in like i'm just so weak and too tired to fight it. Today I found myself with some spare time and ended up blowing £150.00 not my greatest ever loss but enough to really set me back and p1ss me off!
I'm tired of going back to it, fed up of repeating the same mistakes even if they are more sporadic than they used to be. It's destroyed relationships, put me in debt, caused anxiety, puts my head in a spin, low moods, overthinking everything I just want to make a better life for myself and overcome this. I have a good job etc but feel at rock bottom at the moment.
I feel s**t now it's a culmination of 8 yrs of on/off compulsive gambling after I lost today I tried taking a payday loan spent almost 2 hours trying to get one complete and utter madness luckily i decided against it. I'm still a young lad and have the rest of my life in front of me. Hopefully by commiting to posting on here it's the start of a gamble free life.
Here goes hopefully get some support along the way and things start to improve. I will not be gambling tonight and will be taking things one day at a time
Hi Adam,
Well done for joining this site and you have already made a huge step forward by admitting you have a problem and want to tackle it head on.
Willpower alone is not enough I'm afraid, there are some physical blocks you can put on to help you in your quest of arresting this addiction, eg. Self exclusions, blocks on your computer, passing your finances to someone you trust, one to one counselling you can get off GC and most importantly determination to make things right. Be honest with yourself and take it day at a time. This is not an easy journey but so worth all the benefits you will start seing soon enough.
Stick with your diary, keep posting and reading. Loads of wisdom and advice here, nobody will judge, we are all in the same boat and fighting this evil habit together. There is strength in numbers!
All the best and keep marching on, don't look back
Sandra
Hi Adam, this is a tough journey indeed but the rewards of staying in recovery are rich! You sound like you have been doing ok, maybe coming here is the extra push you need to finally kick the demons into touch!
Well done for walking away from the Pay Day loan these companies should not be allowed to charge more than the interest rate @ a bank, they are no better than our addiction!
You have found the support you are looking for & if I can do it (I've probably been gambling longer than you've been alive) you definately can - ODAAT
Hi Adam
First i must agree wholeheartedly with the comments of the previous posters, you've made the best decision of your life today by joining the forum, the support I've received in 2 months here leads me to believe i can quit an addiction I've had over 35 years, in your next post if you explain what form of gambling is your poison then someone with similar betting patterns will advise you, if you work at it and post regularly you will succeed, i wish you every success....Ginger
Thanks for the words of encouragement guys. I know NT i guess i meant it's not that much compared to the thousands that have gone before, but it still hurts, I feel weak today but that it's the end of the road for me and gambling i'm done with it, i've got too much more important stuff that I need to give my attention to.
My nemesis has been those evil FOBT roulette machines, my heads a bit of a mess hopefully posting here will allow some peace of mind and clarity and work towars a better future. I always seem to have returned to gambling when stressed, or feel like I need a buzz so I need to find ways to deal with my emotions, better, more rationally.
No bet today. Hopefully can embrace the challenge and see it as a blessing that i'm free, also very blessed and lucky I didnt get a payday loan yesterday with the frame of mind I was in. It only took one losing spin to set off the destructive behaviour quite scary really and thats why I have to abstain.
Still feel compelled to gamble and struggling with urges but still no gambling since saturday. No bets today, trying to work through this.
Keep @ it, everytime you choose 'No' you are winning & getting stronger...eventually the urges do subside! & although they still creep up unexpectedly you know you can beat them! Recovery is difficult but it is worth every fight!
You can work through this - ODAAT
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