Taking responsibility of my life

Not much to say about today work had most it, so a few more coppers in the bank come payday, other than that no other news so today I did not gamble

What a busy weekend, daughter moved into her own flat on Saturday and have spent the whole weekend helping her kit it out she now owns more stuff than me and has somewhere to call home which is her own space so glad she is happy and made up that it was me she asked to help her out and not just her mates.

Got to see the boys too after their holiday both looking well tanned and happy, but that was short lived due to a few thing and now they don't want to speak to me. That is their choice they are hurt my gambling and the effects it has had on their lives, maybe one day they will understand but until then I'll just have to wait

I used to turn to gambling as a way of escape, but then thing got tuff last night it was the last thing on my mind now I have another project to focuses any spare time and money on staying gamble free should be easier I hope. Today I did not gamble stay safe

Just wanted to say a big well done for being a strong and resisting the lure of gambling x

i completely understand using it as an escape, i have done so to for so long.

I'm glad you had some positives and I really hope everything else works out for you.

best wishes and thinking of you on your path to freedom.

Laura x

Laura thanks for your kind words,

Looking for advice, things have changed so much this year, but still I find my alone with no one to talk thing over with so tonight I turn to everyone here for help and thoughts.

When I went to pick my boys up on Saturday there was another man at the house, it really hurt me to see him there enjoying what was my home, it played on my mind all night, in the end I drove back over there to see if he had gone it was about midnight his car still out side the house in darkness yes was the answer and he was still there Sunday when I took my daughter round to pick up some more stuff, am I wrong for felling angry. I now want to sell the house so what ever she does don't remind me of what I lost. The boys where really upset at the news I want to sell saying they need the house. Should I keep it on just for them but fell anger and resentment every time I pick the up or am I right to get rid of it the last thing that means so much. I know I will never live there again but don't think my boys fully understand what means for them to keep living there.

Any comments from either side of the site would be helpful.

On good note today I did not gamble.

Having a bad day and just need someone to talk to, but have managed to push everyone away so a quite night of reading diarys to try and clear my mind. Just about ready to call it a day again and say sod it to everything.

After a bad week a nice long DIY weekend a head should help keep me busy and not let my mind dwell on the weeks problems, moving forward surly life should get better soon.

Just read some of your diary screwball I lost everything threw gambling money girlfriend and kids. I have not seen my ex with anybody but I no she has been with somebody else which kills me but its my fault in the first place I lost her threw my gambling addiction but I no if I owned a house and she had another man staying they id kick off big style but then you got to think about your kids how will they take it you selling the house they would probably hate you more so you are in a no win situation.

Things will get better as long as you stay away from gambling lets put it this way things won,t get any worse

Today has been a good day, managed to get loads done whole bedroom striped and ready for decorating, keeping busy is helping free my mind of the last few months, it just when I stop and have time to reflex on where it all went wrong.

It was something someone said to me on Thursday that really got me thinking, is this all down to gambling? Yes it has a major part to play in it but even without my relapse this year I think I would still be on my own sooner or later, for someone to be able to move on so quickly there was nothing there for them to get over. I can't move on cos I have still have feeling for the other half.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend and making the most of the bank holiday today I did not gamble

Been a hard day today and glad it's over everything I have done has brought back fond memory's of life with my wife, I know I have to move on and as much as I try I still can't. But haho back to work tomorrow so that I hope will help clear my mind and let me get on with another day gamble free.

Hey there,

Life is full of surprises pleasant ones or not. Shake off bad feelings and find the balance where more peaceful and positive thoughts are present. Not gambling will help you to reach for better things. Keep doing what you doing and let the light shine the way forward. No looking back, no matter what crosses your path. You are worth only good things in life, you are only human who makes mistakes. Don't we all eh?we can only learn from them.

Keep it up and stay safe

S x

Thanks Sandra for such kind and positive words I will keep looking forward, but the past just keeps popping up, it's like looking in a rear view mirror you can see what's behind you but it looks so much closer than it really is.

Today's been a good day at work hope to get my van back tomorrow after it's little trip to the workshop. Busy days are the easiest to deal with at the moment so hope it is busy again tomorrow

Stay safe everyone together we will beat this, today I did not gamble.

Not been a bad day life moves on slowly, today I did not gamble.

To everyone here hope you are one step closer to been free from your past life stay safe.

Good morning, today marks 3 months since my last bet, still feeling strong and enjoying my new life, cash in the bank, a job I love and time to go fishing. Never thought I would be happy again but that's cos I was still living in the past. Not anymore this is my time and my life now going to make it a good one. Thanks to everyone who has posted and supported me alone the way it is a big help see others join over my time here still staying strong we can all beat this don't let the past drag you back cut that rope that holds you there and let yourself run free.

Today I will not gamble

Morning world, today is my last day in double figures today is day 99. I have taken back control tested myself and come out the other side, I can now go away with cash in pocket and spend it what I need and not loss a penny. It is not just by putting blocks in place any more but by self control I don't need to gamble I have nothing to hide from life is much easier just can't get complaisant.

Sometime this month my boys will be grading for their black belts, this is because they have been committed to something they love, they must have got that from there mum cos looking back I never was,( so boy if you read this all the best I know you can do it/ well done if you all ready have) I may not be there to show you but in my heart I'm so very proud of you.

So I have made a possative step in making my life better so guess I need a new challenge in making their lives better too

Today I will not gamble

Morning diary, well back from another week working away and wake up to day 105, I have managed to control my own money even come back with some, would never have been possible before would have let the flashing lights have every last penny. I fell more confident about this all now but know it will take self control to maintain.

A weekend work in the garden is on the cards as long as the weather holds.

Today I will not gamble