The start!!! day one

That's day one done it was tough decided to go for game of snooker to relax and take my mind of what I'm trying to achieve and enjoy myself abit but while I was in there a couple of lads were talking about going to the races and winning a grand and I thought what the I just can't escape it, temptation is everywhere I need to stay positive and look to future instead of looking at how badly my life has gone otherwise I will be back at it.

I'm feeling bit down on day two but going to doctors to sort my depression out then going to see my kids for a few hours which I'm looking forward too i miss them so much. Tonight I'm going to attend a ga meeting I'm not sure I follow there idea but I'm guna give it a try and listen in so here's day 2!!!

HI Nathan! Good to hear you kept a level head last night and didn't fall for any of that gambling talk. We have to accept that some, indeed most, people are quite capable of betting for fun, they have an 'off' switch. Unfortunately as a CG we don't have one and so we end up 'at it' until we have nothing left, whether that money, friends, family, trust, you name it, we're capable of losing it. The only way to change that, is to accept that fact that gambling is something we simply can't do. There are countless other passtimes out there to get involved in instead, it really isn't the end of the world.

As for GA tonight, if you go with an open mind you might be presently surprised. You will be welcomed without stigma, because you'll never assemble a group of people who know a stranger better. The GA 'orange book' does mention God, but please don't use that as an excuse to dismiss it. I made that mistake very early in my gambling career. GA really isn't a religious society, in fact recently there was a motion to remove "God" from the 'orange book', it was defeated amongst other reasons because of the cost and effort involved in re-wording and re-printing. Let us know how you get on tomorrow

Hi
Nathan

I can identify with your opening post greatly. I tried & failed to stop gambling for about 30 years nothing worked for me. I walked reluctantly through the doors of GA 8 years ago where i found new solutions & people who understood my addiction. I like you probably do, had pre conceived ideas of what GA was & what their message would be. I was very wrong. There is no religion in GA or recruitment drive. Just fellow compulsive gamblers looking to improve their lives. Go there with an open mind & im sure you will find both comfort & hope for your future.

Thanks for the advice whatami and day@atime and you both right I went to ga last night for the first time as soon as I got there I was welcomed I was really really nervous I been having thoughts all day of not going and been feeling quite low all day I had been to the doctors to get help with my depression cause of how low I am because of things that have happened at the minute with gambling, me losing my family which I hope isn't to late to get back but probably is and not having a job cause I lost it because of my gambling while telling the doctor I broke down cause it's not easy to say that you have lost everything I felt all right when I left the doctors positive I've been getting head aches too cos I just can't seem to switch off I'm thinking of how to pick myself and reflecting on how far I've fallen and how ashamed I am of the things I've done all for the sake of bet it's quite sad really.

I've been trying to quit for 2 years and each time I've failed because I never really wanted to give up and even though I should have for my family and friends. My last chance to get clean in my eyes was ga which is why I went I was nervous I could relate to most of the people in the room and was unlike what I had thought bout ga I did think it was quite religious but it's far from it the first hour I listened to others speak and spoke very little I never been so scared in my life we had a break a few of the people in the group could see I was nervous and told me there was no pressure to speak. The second hour got under way and to be honest I didn't think I was guna say anything cause I was nervous and then I started talking only told a very small portion of how my gambling was who it had affected and the fact I thought I had hit rock bottom I didn't want to break down whilst I spoke but I did again it's not easy to say u av lost everything that should of been important but wasn't cause of my gambling. I felt great once I had shared to be honest and the advice and help and support I got back was amazing for the first time in 2 years I felt home, I went home on I high I spoke to my ex told her how well it went. I'm sure next time I go I will open up more. I couldn't urge anyone enough that hasnt tried ga to go to a session it will change your life but you do need to go with an open mind and want it there is no pressure to speak and even if you went to listen you would feel better about your situation I hope.

I can't wait for the next session but I can't help wonder how my life would of been if I had of gone to ga sooner and hadnt put it off cause I didn't like the idea of a group session, I could of not lost my family or my job I hope it isn't to late but only time will tell.

After the high I was on yesterday Ive not felt as happy last night In a very long time but woke up on day three not feeling that great didn't sleep cause I was thinking about my gambling in the past, about my family and how I miss them so much. But here's to day three, one day, step at a time.

Well done for going to GA. When I stopped going because I thought I was 'fixed' that's when I fell off the rails again. I need to go back this week and pick it up again. Good luck. I'm day 2.

Nathan.

Fella welcome to the forum, a place like ga full of like minded folk who share the same goal, to arrest that all important next punt, to put an end to the self created misery that is the compulsion to gamble.

I to can emulate with your first post, my own commitment to gambling saw me lose jobs, become detached from the world and sink into deeper depression and constant self loathing.

GA without doubt saved my life, those fellas showed me that there simply is another way, a way to live that with honesty I alone simply couldn't see.

Take things one step at a time, one trait many compulsive gambler's share is to seek the quickest way to gain results.

Recovery is the polar opposite, abstinence is a life choice, take all the advice on offer and use it for your own gain.

A fella in my room often said 'just pin your ears back and listen, you are not forced to contribute, your presence is enough.'

That is for me profoundly true.

The advice gifted to me on my first days recovery still works today over three years on.

There is a triangle time-money-location

Take one away and the next punt becomes impossible, gifting the rational side of the brain time to think, time to re wire itself.

Honesty will come from committing to recovery.

Use it, most of all Enjoy your recovery, after all without waging a single penny you are a winner.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

What a fantastic post Nathan. Keep attending & im sure you will see the benefits in no time.
I remember all the things you talk about like yesterday, feeling at home in place where people understood me, euphoria after that first meeting & even the regret that i hadnt found the courage to attend meetings earlier.

GA has as much or as little help that you want. There is always someone there that has trod the path you are nervous about starting upon. Use everything it has to offer & im sure your chances of getting your family back will be greatly improved.

Nathan, absolutely brilliant to hear you made it to GA and that having got there you found it welcoming and enlightening. I'm not sure anyone can put their finger on what happens in those meetings, but it really can work. All the best!

Thanks for all the positive responses and advice really appreciate it.
Yesterday I felt really low having such a high from the ga meeting I struggled to sleep and couldn't stop thinking about my gambling and how bad it was and my family. I couldn't believe how low I felt after such a high I've not wanted to do much and been getting head aches I need to take my mind of my problems and concentrate on something different but it's easier said than done I was really struggling to find positives when I m still thinking of the negatives I'm not sure how to retrain myself to be a more positive thinker. I have got a long road a head of me and am trying not to let the negatives get me back to gamble or the temptation.
Day 4 has started ok still bit down but went for a walk with my daughter and it's cheered me up feel pretty good right now lt feels like a roller coaster at the minute with up and down mood swings I know the first week and month will be the hardest. I think am struggling so bad this time cause I no that this is it I'm getting clean because before ive done a month or two without gambling but I new I would go back because I wasn't ready to quit and didn't have the right frame of mind it's***t home now I've lost my family that this is it I must clean l.

Yesterday was oki bit of a mixture of highs and lows but not gambled even though it's been hard cause am so low I used to use my gambling as my anti depressant when negativity was in my life which has been most of it or something went wrong my Gambling sooths me to start with but then comes the anger and losing all self control of what I am doing. I miss the bet but know nothing good has come from my gambling it's wrecked my life and if i continue down this path I will be dead because I keep feeling this low everytime I'm trying to recover which leads me to the first bet cause am so low and struggling to see the positives of my life.
Day 5 here its been a good week a tough week but been good felt high and felt really really low but at least I've had a high day not felt like my life's pointless l. Got ga meeting tonight so looking forward to that I'm in need of it to be honest.

Just about got through day 5 I'm feeling worse and worse. I'm struggling to accept that my family has gone been thinking of how my gambling has ruined everything good I just can't seem to switch off and think happily anymore. I some times wonder why I bother. Going to be lucky to get through the weekend at this rate cause I just keep thinking av a gamble take my mind of all my problems be happy for couple of days rather than like this.

Do whatever you need to do to avoid gambling this weekend! I'll check in with you tomorrow! You're doing great don't take a step back.

That's a tough week but got through it nearly went for a bet been feeling really low. Spending time with my kids to take my mind of things at the moment which is helping massively. I keep feeling I should be punished for the things I've done. Been feeling suicidal this week cant cope with the low days I hate it feel it would be best if I wasn't here anymore cause of the amount of pain and suffering that has been caused by my gambling. But im a week in i hope it gets easier cause i cant manage another week of this. All my negatives keep over shadowing my positives im thinking of my negatives way to much. Hope i get through next week.

How you doing nathan? Stay positive. Watch some comedy on youtube... it's something that helps to take me away from stresses.