there are over 2019 reasons to not gamble this year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well done on surviving the test this morning. Whether we like it or not, generally, we will come up against tests like you experienced this morning.

Like yourself, I’m grateful for the blocks I have in place as it has stopped any temptation to try and gamble online.

Keep fighting hard, Adam. You’re doing so well.

Cgeers dan for the message, alomst on the 200 day mark horray.

I went to the club to play snooker last night and rob who i play with put about 80 pounds into a fruit machine and lost it all, i wasnt even remotely wanting to play it at all as i know that overall you alllways lose playing a fruitmachine and i just dont want anymore stress. Meditation going well doing it every night and i think its helping me sleep and to control my mind better. Tomo marks my 200 gamble free day, really cant beleive it but it will look soo much closer to the year mark. I really am chuffed with myself. onwards i go, looking back occasionally but not starring. The meditation is about training your mind to focus on the present more as if you do you benefit more and become more successful. Try not to think about the past or future and if your mind drifts into them just realise and think about the present time, i think thats how it works anyway lol. I'm no expert as yet.

anothr weekend finnished, back to work tomo, two days of work then two days off as holiday. hoping spurs win tuesday night horray.

Spurs are gonna be in last 8 of the champions league boom. Another few days down, two days at work and two days holiday tomo and thursday.

Another two ays down, spent yesturday playing snooker then today had a long lie in then went shopping and saw my doctor for forty mins. Alls well, doctor was happily suprised that ive not drunk in six months, she said i shouldnt seperate myself from my friends and should look to have a holiday this year (the one in august with my family wa terrible as i was mentally ill during it). They are going to increase my medication to try and stop the voices during each month but as i said ive got a lot more energy with this medication so im happy. My next appointment with her is june so hopefully i make progress between now and then. Im getting support at work there are some issues but im managing and the stress levels are a lot better nowadays. Another week on from the 200 days so im happy with that. Chat room every night is brilliant got a really good bunch and mixers back so thats good. night diary

Another day down and the start of a weekend

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Another weekend down, I feel like this year is flying by and i want it to as it will be my first full Calender year gamble free. Just went for a curry with ten good friends, known them all my life and it was really good to catch up. Back to work tomo but just enjoying a relaxing evening before I go back.

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Another day down another gamble free day, thoughts of starting poker again slipping in, just having to fend those thoughts off with the realistic outcome. Life is good at mo but could be better need some new objectives to put in place, I think a health related objective and a social related objective , ones that will increase my boby and spirit. Maybe a running objective or weight objective or rowing objective I'm good at rowing. Then I think id like to go out for more meals with friends so say try to do one a month? Is that plausable.

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Wondering today whether ill ever want to move into my flat, I'm happy at home and it puts less stress on myself. Well theres three years untill I can move in anyway so don't have to worry about that for a while. They are interviewing for a supplies assistant at work my old position. I think since i got moved out thedepartmenf last January they have had two different people and both have quit I think or the same as happened to me they got pushed out. I'm reasonably happy where I am at the mo the job pays me so I can pay my bills and it leaves me with 153 pounds a month to go out with which is good, I'm sure there at many people with less dispossable income and others who are really struggling. We are lucky to live in the western world where theres housing and food. I'm rambling again I know. Have only been to gym twice in two weeks so will make the effort to go soon. Over and out.

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after a sleepless night had a better day at work today, had a good chat with my manager and all is sorted now.One more day then weekend and I can buy the fantastic beasts dvd.

I struggle sometimes with my thoughts about work, reality, day to day things, something that someone with normal thoughts would probably think about for a few minutes becomes hours for me. I think im lucky to have a job and ill look to stay in the same position for a while i wrote in my review that id look for promotion but i feel keeping my work stress free is very important to my health. I am lucky with my work/home balance in the hours i work and i feel im improving on a lot of aspects of my life. Im grateful ve managed 215 days now not gambling and a little under that for not drinking. I think the drink definately eased myself into gambling and altho i didnt drink much a feel that abstaining from it works.

Another weekend gone, went super quickly, my sister and nephes came over yesturday which was nice. Then had voices last night so just listened to music till about 4am. Bit tired today but went out and enjoyed the sunshine. Now due to my skitsophrenia ive found it hard to stay on facebook, i went off it december last year and deleted my data, but ive gone back on it today and made all my old friend requests, not sure if its the right thing to do but i guess if its a problem i can delete it again. Onwards to monday i guess.

So just finnished watching fantasic beasts 2 on dvd it came out today, brilliant. Cant wait for the next installment. Feeling a lot more possitive about facebook, i dont have to post just good to keep in conact with people. Just about to have a hair cut, shave it all off grade four or five all over nothing too stylish for me. then ill pop on chat me thinks.

so i found out today if i dont smoke for ten years my lungs will repair all the damage done by smoking. 808/3650 days done so far so looking forward to that day!!! i feel that ive come a long way in half a year and beleive i can go further, next step the 250 day mark!!!!