Im making my first diary on this forum, its my first day since my last relapse which lasted nearly a month i just couldnt quit im now in debt each time i have relapsed i have made it difficult for myself i cant change the past but i have the ability to change the future, i have been gambling on and off since 2006 this is the first time i have done gameban mosses and barred myself i made the agreement do what i can and take each day as it comes and with time i know it will get easier has i have previously experienced life without gambling here to a new start
Good luck you have got this! Nearly 4 months free for myself after nearly 12 years of the illness! Let me know if you fancy a chat to discuss ways to get through it
@km94 will do mate thanx for asking i have experinced gamble free and i can assure you it much better then this hellhole i have now excepted it life long illness and u can never be complacent i have accepted this, i realised it not just refraining from gambling it also making a changes to yourself, gambling trap always going to wisper at your darkest times so im going to put messure in place as life is full of tests
Day 2 still feeling numb however i have accepted this last loss better it got me in debt, im going to treat myself to a meal and i am off to the movies later on, im taking it 1 day as it comes no pressure
Day 3 feeling alot better had a good night sleep feeling alot better did my first shop today after years of spending excessive amounts on takeaways and resturants cant believe how much food i got for £20 makes u realise how expensive gambling addiction really is, ive got few bits and bobs to do around the house which i will start this weekend one day at a time
Day 4 im feeling angry its all coming back to me im trying keep focused i feel like i have been abused in a toxic relationship however i have no urgues im making adjustments to get through this i need to be firm with myself as i know it will always try it again for what ever reason i need to keep my gaurd up and i say no more
Day 5 i had an urgue today, its trying to fool me again as it wants to steal my money again it knows £100 will benefit me at this moment in time so it tempted me to try again im not interested the damage is already done once bitten twice shy in this been bitten 100s of times this time its different i want to pay for my mistakes i know exactly what it doing no matter what happens in my life i will not give in i rather burn my money then to give those scums another penny, ive never felt this much hate for anyone, i will never forgive them for what they have done to me
Day 8gf i slightly feeling better i have made a few cutbacks and i have accepted full reaponsibility, im trying to find other things i can do to fill the void i cant look back now i can only move forward, one day at a time
Day 11 still g/f i came to realisation in order to succeed it has to be some form off loss, life will eventually get better i have decided i'm not going to cut corner and am going to face the reality, i have made some cut back and i have changed my diet as i wasen't eating the best foods i have also focussed on gym so it not all bad i am more then determined to improve on myself i have even took the debt as a positive as it will be a constant reminder what gambling can do, i know life gets better which is when the relapse can occur as we easily forget but if i can remind myself the effects of gambling it will discourage me to relapse the debt will last 2-5 that in itself will help
Day 141 still gamble free im in a much better position in my life i have cleared more then half my debt with the help of my family i still get the odd split second gambling thought however with the help of Gamcare chat im doing great i couldnt ask for anything better, i wanted to come back to this thread that it is possible to move forward, things can improve but it does take time and understanding
Day 141 still gamble free im in a much better position in my life i have cleared more then half my debt with the help of my family i still get the odd split second gambling thought however with the help of Gamcare chat im doing great i couldnt ask for anything better, i wanted to come back to this thread that it is possible to move forward, things can improve but it does take time and understanding
Glad to hear your situation has improved tazman, I'm just starting my road to recovery and hope to reach 100+ days gamble free (and beyond). Keep it going my friend!
Hi,
thank you for taking the time to reply on my thread .
Seems to me you have got a good insight into what needs to happen to keep you from letting yourself get sucked back down the never ending black hole . Once we get we can never be cured or change it all and become a responsible gambler .Our brains are just not wired that way , someone said to me once if you imagine when you started gambling you were a juice red grape ,but as time wore on you lost your juice , you lost your plumpness , and slowly began to dry up , until you were a raisin. The line had been crossed and no going back to being a grape . Sorry know that sad , well not that sad lol
Forward never back for those raisins in the world lol
take care
Dusty xx
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