I don't seem to be able to get onto the forums via my phone at the moment. I can only search via my account. Still no gambling and nearly time for a relaxing weekend after a busy week. Next target for me is the end of May. Getting fit as well. No turning back this time.
Well done new day double figures is great where I will be this time next week and my first big target one day at a time and doing All the things I need to do to finally stop after 30 years of this horrendous addiction
Keep going Paul. It's going to be so worth it living a normal life without the devastating effects of gambling. We CAN do this.
Another slip this weekend. Got away without losing anything as the account was picked up as previously being self excluded. Need to make sure that's the last time. It wasn't totally wreck less betting but it all only leads one way eventually. Don't bet again and life will be better than ever...
A week gamble free and no real thoughts of placing any bets. A productive week at work and feeling really positive today. I'm not going to ruin these happy vibes by gambling anymore.
Still not gambled. Received the bad news that a grandparent passed away today which was expected but still really sad. I'm aware the guard needs to be tightened at times like these. More determined than ever never to waste a single penny or a single second of my life mixed up in gambling again. I checked the forums daily although don't always post.
Heading into the weekend positive and after a gamble free one, the two week milestone will be passed. Urges are pretty low as I'm very busy at the moment and an action packed weekend is planned.
A few urges today but I managed to suppress them. I hate gambling! I don't want to gamble again
The urges were fairly strong yesterday and mainly down to boredom. It's a good feeling once they've gone and you haven't acted in them. Things are so much calmer without the despair of checking results. Onwards and upwards
And two weeks have now passed since my last bet!
31 days gamble free. I still check posts although don't feel the need to post to often. Life is much calmer, although business is very busy. Very positive and hardly any urges to report.
Back again after an out of control month of gambling. Thrown away all the money I've saved over the last 4 months. I don't have any debt and can still live a good life although I'm in the self disgust mode atm. Not going to chase the losses anymore. I know I need to accept its gone and then start recovering my positive mental state. Feeling low. Looking forward to better sleeps and more enjoyment in my daily life. I've also got to tackle my attitude to money. I spent so little on myself and feel like I'm never going to have enough. It's probably down to the continual gambling and always going back to square one rather than seeing capital build up that is part of the problem.
Day 2
Definitely have to accept that I'm a gambling addict who goes out of control once I place a bet. Disgusted with how much I've wasted over the years! I want to keep reminding myself of how low I feel right now but also want to start to feel more positive again. I guess I'm fortunate that I don't have any debt but I feel just as bad as I have in the past when I did end up in debt. It's the only thing I really spend money on to excess. Every other aspect of my life is kept way under control when it comes to money. I think I'm going to have to try a different kind of approach to money from now on. I'm going to reward myself more often. I earn good money now but I have to work so hard for it. 12-15hour days and to wipe out all the extra money I'd banked since Christmas over 3 or 4 gambling binges is hard to take. Obviously it's my fault/choice but feel a little sorry for myself. I'm going to try and focus on not how long it's going to take to earn that money back and focus on just living my life from this point forward and enjoy all the opportunities and success I can from here on in. It's not easy to forget though! And hopefully that will help me in the coming days, weeks, months and years.
Another loss yesterday. Excluded from the one final account that was open. A restless night of self loathing. Really need to start looking after myself and start to like me again. This gambling destroys all motivation and positive views on life.
Just read through my diary entries and I'm like a stuck record. Work hard, earn money, lose money, get nowhere. I need to now change that to work hard but less, earn money, enjoy life and get to where I want to be. I've made plans for where I want to be by the end of next year but also want and need to live each day as it comes from now on. And spend time and money on me.
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