A slight thought of looking at the football odds tonight earlier. I'm still annoyed at the amount of money lost and know I need to accept its gone. I've treated myself to an Indian(don't normally as I think it's overpriced) but working on the theory that've saved a few quid by not acting on the urges to gamble. I plan to have many more of these days of rewarding myself for not gambling and "saving" money along the way.
Hi, I have read your thread, and I too like many others had saved for 6mnths to blow my money in 1 sitting at the bookIEs, £5735 to be precise. Disgusting, horrible awful...I nearly quit my job after. I just wanted my money back. It decided to offer me half back at one point. I'm glad now I never took it...because I would be still gambling today. For me the trigger was petty gambling; the odd lottery or scratchcard, the money was small but roulette always promised fast easy money. The rest is history. I just hope we can stop this time ONCE AND FOR ALL!
easy Li£e
It starts with smaller bets for me. And then the chase and if I could recoup the losses along the way it would feel like an amazing win and I feel so happy and relived. And it makes no sense as I shouldn't just bet in the first place. We obviously can do it as others have and addiction can be beaten. I'm going to give it a real go by spending money a bit more freely on myself along the way. I don't overspend on myself in any way but throw thousands at bookies. By spending on me and trying to learn to enjoy my money rather than desperately trying to save it to counteract previous losses I think may play a part in why I think I need more money all the time and start to gamble. And I'll not be spending anywhere near on myself compared to what I'll give to the b*****d bookies. Massive fingers up to them and thumbs up to me from now on. Best wishes to you in your battle to easy life
Hi,
Firstly, new day i had to double check your post because i thought that i wrote it myself.... I know i shouldnt feel like this; i am relieved that a number of people are similiarly in the same boat as me!
The fact is we dont know when to stop and something triggers us to start. You hit the nail on the head about trying to make more.... Maybe we are creating an illusion and actually unhappy! GAmbling is a bad idea... Not a good 1.
Bookies are illegal and unregulated!
Easy li£e
6 months after I started this diary I'm back at day one. This has to be for the final time. I cannot deny myself happiness, mental wellbeing and a secure future anymore. I need to accept what's gone had gone and from now on every single penny that comes my way will be mine to enjoy. I'm stronger than this addiction and will give every once of energy and determination i have to beat this. I will no longer fund these gambling companies, not only for me but to also try to protect the next generation of potential addicts by not helping to fund any of their adverts or shops. Today is day one again. But for the last time. I've been an idiot and am seriously annoyed with myself. I hate the companies for trying to talk me out of self excluding and taking a break instead. Yes they are lowlifes but I have to make the right choice for myself and my family. And I will
The world sure seems a better place once I make that commitment to not gamble anymore in my head. Obviously I've fallen back into gambling countless times once I've decided I'm stopping but I see a lot more positive things happening around me when I'm not gambling. I'm fully focused on beating this for the final time and moving life to where I want it. Forgetting the lost money isn't easy still but I know I need to accept its gone. I can recover myself from here. On we go. Today will be a good day and am looking forward to a calm and normal weekend this week.
8 days of making the right choices. I've had several urges over the last few days, the first thing I think about when sport comes on the tv is checking the odds but I've resisted. A busy week at work helps kill the time and I'm still positive about the future. Let's hope the urges get less and less as the days go by. And with making the right choices life improving to. No more mental torture and a bit more me time. Best wishes all
And my last bet was on world mental health day. It'll be a good day to make sure it stays that way.
Day 10.
Have come to the conclusion that I could potentially win some money when I bet but now realise that I'll never collect. From now on I'll earn my money from all the hard work I'm doing right now. I've wAsted all the hard earned money I've earned in the past. I'm looking forward to the positive mental attitude of starting to accumulate nice things in life, house, car, clothes as well as finally moving my business onto a level where I can employ staff and ultimately work less. I've lost pretty much all the extra savings I've earned by working 70hrs a week since Xmas. That really is soul destroying. No more will I feel that despair. Have a good gamble free day.
Within an hour of posting the last message the gambling demons started to focus my attention towards tonight's football. I didn't give in but it's going to be one hell of a battle. Keep the guard up
Day 12. No urges yesterday. Disappointed still with the lost money but starting to reflect a bit more deeper into just how long and severe my gambling has been. I've ruined myself for over 15 years with it. No more. Ever. Felling positive about a gamble free future.
A slip Saturday mainly down to boredom. Should've forced myself to go out and not get bored at home. Read a standout comment that it's more the effect on the mental health rather than the money list that's the biggest hit being a compulsive gambler. How true that is for me. A small positive for me is that every time I open an account to place a bet I exclude afterward and am really running out of opportunities to open another. I really want to get back to happy and confident me, not the feeling of desperation and worthlessness after binging. I'm now putting a simple choice in my brain everyday and I suppose it really it that simple. To improve the future of my child or to carry on financing that of a low life bookie. It really is that simple isn't it?! Obviously my head is perhaps damaged or not wired up correctly as to often I don't recognise it being as simple as that. I suppose some may see myself as progress in that I've not lossed everything possible this time around and still have some savings and a good business. But I've also lossed ALOT of money this year. A disgusting amount. Time to stop once and full all again. It's hard not to beat myself up right now.
Seem to go around in circles at the moment. Planning things a year or so ahead and for casting money I'll earn in that time. That then leads me to think it's worth trying to win back some of my losses with a nominated amount as it won't matter hugely if I earn as I predict but ultimately I'm not stopping with just that nominated amount and that's the issue. The weeks and months are slipping by without seeing much of an increase in the bank balance. I cannot do it to myself anymore. I'm so angry at the moment. I now need to stop this forever. I had a good think last night about if I were to die today(not feeling that I want to!) but what have I achieved in my life. I don't like the answers so really this has to stop now so I can carve out a positive future. It scares me how this has a hold over me and has done for years. Nothing else does. Only gambling.
A busy weekend planned. Read a post about earning the right to enjoy yourself. This weekend I plan to enjoy with family and not ruining it with gambling. Thoughts of trying to get the money back still there but I really need to knock this once and for all. Have a nice gamble free weekend folks.
A different experience this weekend. Thought about betting yesterday. Looked at the football odds but felt it so tiring and stressful trying to select any potential selections I refrained. And in return it's been a relaxing and chilled weekend. Good sleeps and nice days out. The way I want it to continue. Gambling has been my only lavish expense in my life. No great clothes or excessive nights out, careful(probably too much so) with money only to blow thousands upon thousands and for what. Low self esteem and heartache. And I don't seem to have the fear or work tomorrow either safe in the knowledge I haven't wasted the weeks wages before the weeks begun. Still annoyed with the money I've lost this year but still need to really accept its gone. Have a nice plan of what I want to achieve over the next couple of years and know it's achievable. Just need to keep this gambling out of my future. One day at time and will start to reward myself with little treats along the way for abstaining. f**k you bookies. Onwards and upwards
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