Timing is Everything

Recently I’ve been considering the importance of understanding timing whilst stumbling through this life of ours. We may only act in ways we see fit for each contextual situation we find ourselves in, and yet how we do so defines our character in the most wondrous and catastrophic ways.

How many instances there are where being fast and acting fast means being the best, as in running; motor racing; trading in the stock market; the wittiness of a comedian. Speed is one of the most admirable traits when it is paired with precision. Some will never be blessed with speed or master the art of it, that’s why when it is displayed, it is revered by so many.

Then there is the art of timing, which can coincide with speed, but is certainly not dependent on it. It may be in choosing when to strike or launch an attack, as in chess. It may also be in not acting at all; delaying an immediate response, to instead consider whether it is the right action. Where timing is all about precision, as in the cover drive of a batsman; the stroke of a paintbrush; the playing of instrument. Speed is not always essential, and yet offers so much opportunity for flamboyance, showmanship and charm. Timing, though, is the one determiner of speed’s execution, and it is absolutely essential in its success.

Timing is knowing when to ask more, again, or not at all. It is in choosing when to trust; when to commit; when to leave. Timing is knowing when to open-up, or keep it locked away. It rules our day-to-day life and we become familiar with its expectations, but however well we may understand the social conventions of timing, we cannot guarantee our success in finding it.

A lot of timing may be luck, like meeting someone who ends up as your best friend or your partner. It’s discovering freak opportunities and being ready to take them. What we often define as lucky is actually just good timing, and sometimes what we once thought was good luck ends up to be poor timing in the grand scheme of things.

Timing and life after gambling

Timing has been an important aspect of my life in recovery from gambling addiction. In the telling of my story to close friends and family, there is lots of emotion from both sides. In feeling and predicting the emotion, timing presents itself as an idea of perfection. Such perfection cannot exist and only acts as a blocker to a conversation that needs to happen. To be caught up in getting the timing right can mean not doing the thing at all, but maybe that is timing’s way of protecting. After all, acting too quickly can be interpreted as rash. On the other hand, arriving too late may be to deprive oneself of whatever lay there all along; often it is love.

I want to tell people at the right time, there’s no denying. This means telling people in the right setting, in the right manner and sharing the right level of detail. I’m starting to see that this is an unreasonable level of conditions to have. There really isn’t a manual on this, and my idea of good timing in relation to it is potentially very different to someone else’s.

Timing and Luck

I look back on my first win in betting and I think about the timing of it all. Placing a small football accumulator at 16 to return a healthy profit, a big slice of luck. And yet, now I reflect that this could’ve been the seed that grew and infected gambling in my mind. Now I consider this a poorly-timed moment in my life. At such a young age I was pulled in, if the bet would have lost, life may not have led me down such treacherous paths.

The game of poker is interesting to consider when looking at the idea of perfect timing. A professional poker player may lose all of her money on the table in one hand and come out of it knowing in her heart she made the right call at the right time. She lost against all odds on the river, but that won’t define her performance. However, the player may only make her peace with the loss once she acknowledges that there is luck involved in the game.

I consider my recovery, and the moments where I’ve met people through sharing that have made my recovery easier. What if they weren’t there at the right time and I never got to meet them? What if I didn’t share in the first place? It’s easy to get lost in the hypotheticals.

In reflecting over time we can only speculate on how things would be different, but however I look at it, I don’t think I’d ever understand myself as much as I do now if they didn’t play out as they did. Now I find myself appreciative of the concept of timing, and not in seeking perfection with it, but merely knowing what hasn’t worked in the past may help my future. The examples of sport or the playing of music in relation to timing have certain definite measurements, whereas life does not. People may judge our decisions to do particular things at particular times but they cannot decide if we got it right; there may be no one but ourselves who can tell us that, or in fact believe it.