I've tried before to give up and have failed so many times as soon as there's an upset in my life (and I've been through horrid stuff in the last couple of years) I'm back on line playing stupid slot machines. There's only ever going to be one winner, I know that but it doesn't stop me and now its seriously affecting my life, I've stayed up all night, not gone to work and made excuses not to see friends and family. I live alone (not through choice) and I'm too ashamed to tell anyone about it. So after a particularly bad weekend - I've literally just lost 1000 that I haven't got - I'm giving it another go. So I've self excluded, I've stopped my credit card and have no money in my account and won't be able to borrow so I'm hopeful that having no access will give me a break and allow me to start to recover. I'm so much worse than I was a year ago, know it will be tough. But day 1 has to start somewhere. I've read loads on here and know that I'm not alone in this struggle. The on=line stuff is too easy and designed to hook people in. So I wish everyone luck in their personal battles and please wish me the same.
Hi T2c
Welcome to this wonderful forum where you will get plenty of support to help you
Having no money on cards is a good start to abstain from online gambling and self excluding so well done on taking these steps
Take one day at a time and think can't win because I can't stop but you will win every day you don't play
I wish you well on this journey to abstain from gambling and taking small steps one day at a time it can be achieved to win every day
Time location and money helps because if you take one away it's impossible to play
Best wishes
Suzanne x
Thank you, I was reading your diary and read about your triangle, this makes such sense. I need to make it impossible to play. I'm hopeful this time but it feels incredibly daunting to be on day 1.
Day 1 is a long one. I've been ok because I'm really determined this time. have downloaded the software and am keeping myself occupied. I hate all the e-mails trying to pretend that they're giving real bonuses. That's what went wrong with my last binge - they 'gave' me 25 I gave them 1,000!!!! (it makes me feel ashamed just to write that) So only one winner there. But there's always that hope - but it isn't hope its stupidity. Reading other peoples accounts is inspirational, such a lot of strength out there yet it shows how hard it is. Good luck to everyone and I'm looking forward to when I'm not on day 1 anymore....
Hi t2c
Today you didn't place a bet. Today you were the winner those awful websites lost out. Laugh in their faces. They did not take your money today and hopefully they never will again.
Wouldn't it be great to see everyone do what you have done today and not place a bet. Wouldn't it be great to see the owners and profiteers all end up penniless because people like yourself saw the light.
Keep going with the diary and make each day count towards a new and fulfilling life.
Shelly
thanks it will be a small but very significant victory when I come on here tomorrow and start my post with 'Day 2'!
Hi T2c - Well done on joining this site as I am sure it will help you a lot. I see you have joined the 2014 Challenge - that's great as it's such a supportive group. You will find that the days of 'sanity' soon mount up - before you know it you'll have a week of freedom behind you.
Best wishes for the journey.
Joanna
thanks, I'm hopeful now but going through my mind is the 'why don't I have one more go - it must be my turn....' but I know that that is totally the wrong thing to think as if it 'was my turn' I'd only put it all back in. Just like last weekend. I want to be able to say 2 days/7 days'10 days..... and this time I'm going to. And I hope that I can give support to others too
Day 2 - so far so good
Well done - keep going..... and I think you're on Day 3 by now! :o)
Joanna
well done , at least you have realised that there is only one winner when gambling and you and i both know its not us keep strong you can do this , thanks simon
Hi, I'm getting there but this is hard and I've run out of money = thought I was ok but had a couple of unpaid bills. It's a week and a half until pay day but its my fault I haven't got anything and at least if I haven't got anything I can't spend it on gambling. Urges very bad this evening. and I can't sleep...off to try now. Sorry for the downbeat post. Will be more positive tomorrow I'm sure. At least I have some food in the freezer and some petrol in the car!!
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