What a day!

still day 352

Got an appointment tomorrow with the counsellor- I wasn't expecting it to happen so quickly...but probably for the best, I've got no time to back out!

Hey Irene ..

Im sure you will get a lot out of counselling even the relief at being to offload guilt free and have your feelings validated ...

I have no doubt whatsoever that you will make the most of it. No comparisons Hun..you are important and what matters to you is important and it doesn't matter if it's not important to Joe Bloggs down the road ..you matter.

R and D xx

Hey Irene,

Thanx for the post (((Irene))) . Good stuff about tomorrow. Wish you well and hope it helps big deal. You deserve it 🙂

Have a good day back at work tomorrow or Thursday ( short memory lol..love to have 3 hrs sleep and come bk for nightshift lol)

Sandra x

P.s.Bizzare thing happened - went to car park to get a lighter from the car..and it is a bit dark ( a bit lol)...so i walked pass my car few times lol...telling me i'm getting blind lol lol can't even find my own car..how embarrasing 🙂

Oops

WELL DONE ON CONTINIOUS ABSTINENCE!!You deserve best things in ur life girl xx

This diary inspires me to be a better person, or at least a gamble free better person, thank you. I hope the counselling helps.

Thanks folks x

Day 353

Phew.......the session went really well I think. I feel so much better. Rach was right- being open face to face and having feelings validated was very reassuring. The counsellor was lovely, very down to earth and straightforward. I did also get some suggestions for a "safety plan" which she'll help with. It was good also to have positive reinforcement about my progress.

Generally this evening, I'm happy to be me 🙂

Hi girl,

Yep..having face 2 face is very helpful and i couldn't believe how understanding people can be. It will work out well darling...just be honest (firstly with yourself)

I am worried about you Irene. You know why? You are reaching a year g free...and that's massive...and i think(from my personal view) look at it as day one..like it is every day..no way put the guard down!!! otherwise i will hunt you down lol...don't you worry haha:-) (how could i...joking of course)

You keep fighting girl...keep taking everything back out of life what is truly yours.......and some more of course:-)

Hugs ((( I )))

Sandra x

Thanks wee pal xx

Day 354

I'm being hounded (not by my wee pal lol)! Took a call on my mobile today from online casino- they've "missed me" lol. Before the lovely wee gent could offer me the world I asked him to exclude me and remove my details from their database. Lo and behold received a text a few minutes later with tempting (not!) "offers". Came home to an e-mail (not sure how it avoided my "spam folder") sent about an hour later, again offering allsorts if I donated more money to them- all from the same company! This was a potentially difficult situation as I got paid today, conversely, their aggressive tactics have made me more determined never to give them a penny more of my hard earned cash.

I was popular indeed today.....got a message from debt collection agency. I haven't had an opportunity to find out why they needed to speak to me. Just last week, I asked for all correspondence to be via my CAB advisor. Maybe they just wanted a "chat"!

Instead of making me want to gamble, these two incidents have made me livid. I want to leave the past behind- but finding it ruddy hard with the constant reminders.

Aside from this, I'm having a really good day lol. Feeling motivated and relatively happy with my lot!

Hi Irene... You are a popular lass. be sure to have tea and cakes at the ready! 😉 🙂

Glad your feeling motivated and relatively happy. Your doing mighty fine... regards... S.A 🙂

Thanks SA

Day 355

Maybe not tea and biscuits but the debt company did get a few choice words from me about their impatience.......maybe not the best way to keep them happy but hey, I felt better for it!

The gambling company isn't worthy of my ire!

Today's been brill- I had a wee stint of my previous job, my former place in the team, and the day flew by.

Oh! I'm feeling old- avoided a night out (I seem to be making a habit of that!) and posed the Friday question- wine or not???? Having tea and toast now- wine intact lol.

Hey wee pal:-)

Oh Irene, avoiding good time out with your friends! What are you playing at? Lol

Good stuff in your recovery darling. As i say believe in yourself and come out stronger each day. Well done and be proud!!;-)

Wine?hope not big headache lol...my choices are : coffee or coffee lol

Take care

Sandra x

Love reading how well you are coping with all the shitola still thrown at you these days but you sound so much stronger than before and they surely must run out of S***e some day soon.

Roll on that day and then it will be wine - to celebrate

xxx

Thanks Ladies- where would my thinking be without your boosts? x

Day 356

I've not got much to tell today. Avoided boredom by hitting the shops and got a C pressies- saved a bucketload of dosh by buying "offers"- the recipients'll never know I'm a cheapskate lol.

Lots of sad surprises on the forum recently. Makes me fearful of relapse and reminds me how strong people can be caught out. Tightened up my safety net a bit- I cant go back.

Hi Irene... yes I know what you mean about others relapsing, but from a selfish point of view there experiences can be a helpful reminder of what compulsive gambling brings us.... ie financial meltdown and personal misery.

Long time members relapses get me feeling sad too but they also embolden my resolve. I can't go back again either

Christmas shopping... I hate it lol... take care... S.A 🙂

Thanks SA x

Day 357=51 weeks

The weeks are fairly flying past. I can hardly believe its almost a year since I last gambled....I am so pleased it is!