What now?

I think you have done really well so far. Most dificult thing is to go into administration ie let the daughter take care of the finances. A word of comfort is that you can allways replace money but never love and family. It feels like drama at first but it does get back to some normality after a while. Try and be as honest about it as you can to your partner. Just say youre an endorfine J****E and could just as well have been a parachutist but you got the high of the gambling instead. It is important to understand the urge. A win on the slots or bingo just spurs you on to go twice as fast looking for the next rush. Its the equation of loosing what you win and more that none of us can figure out not the winning of money wich is just fuel to the machinery to keep it all going. I wish you the best in your recovery.

Thanks c43herb

Day 2

Woke feeling relieved have a busy day in work today so i can safely say i can get through today! Day off tommorow warning light is on so have to stay determined and beat this thing,

Annie

Welcome and well done for your commitment to facing up to your addiction.

There is no cure or medication you can take that will rid addiction from within but on offer is the gift of recovery.

It's free and will take a huge commitment but I guarantee you will reward you in many ways.

Good to see you have taken some practical steps to gift the rational side of the brain time to think, to seek a better choice.

As active gambler's I believe we all live by the same mantra

I cannot win because I cannot stop.

You can turn that full circle without staking a single penny.

The advice gifted to me on my first days recovery, still works today over three years on.

There is a triangle time-money-location

Take one away and the punt becomes impossible Gifting the rational side of the brain time to re wire itself.

I look forward to reading your progress, you have taken a huge step

Enjoy it.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi anniek1, welcome to recovery 🙂

Just wanting to make sure you know about blocking software? I didn't do my damage online so I am no expert but there is plenty of information on here about it & K9 is the free one! This may be something your partner could help with once you have your chat! There is also help & support here for people suffering the fallout of our actions, the pain of which cannot be underestimated (often more to do with the deceit that the money)!

NT has a thread on Tips for keeping busy! In the early days, I replaced my gambling for so called 'crush' games which are very addictive but limit the amount of time one can spend on them!

I never took a test as I didn't have a problem either but coming onto sites like this proved something that I didn't want to hear...Whether I thought I had a problem or not, I sure was a lot like many others that do! Many of whom, like me have gambled all their adult lives & are now finally living! You are right to approach recovery One Day At A Time but be prepared to do this minute by minute or even second by second if required

You can beat this - ODAAT

welcome anniek

i'd say you've been given some good words of advice already so just a welcome from me and hope you keep posting

tri

Thanks for the kind words, day 3 today and its on my mind most of the time. My partner took the news well and being honest didnt seem that bothered. Somehow i wish he'd gone mad about it. My computer keeps looking at me and the urge to get on it is overwelming on times. The only thing on there in the end was my betting sites. They have gone now so thinking of downloading some games to play that i used to enjoy like theme hospital or roller coaster tycoon. Ive tried the gamble blockers but got a computer degree and havent found one yet that i cant hack in to. Ive tried most of them out there. Im gonna stay strong and like you said day by day or minute by minute on times, i will beat this. My daughters have been amazingly supportive and we had a long talk about things to keep my occupied. bless including knitting lol.

Well, done, one day is a victory, every day is a victory.

Get yourself along to your local GA meetings, I find them extremely important and it helps with my recovery. I go weekly, other goes more often. Whatever is right for you, please get along to a local meeting. What area do you live?

Check out my diary if it helps, I am at day 70 after failed attempts in the past, so it may give you some encouragement

Good Luck. Dig in and battle those demons!

Got to the end of the day and my God I feel good, purchased theme hospital which I used to love and played for a couple of hours instead of playing slots, really enjoyed it too and that I won't wake up in the morning penniless yet again kicking myself for not stopping while I was ahead. The amount of times I won and should have stopped but kept on going. I dont think it was greed because at the moment money has no value to me. I'm not complacent because I know the next few days and weekend will be a major milestone if I can get through it. Im very grateful for all the support and usually not the type of person that excepts support without giving something back. Im new to this and learning so can't offer any words of wisdom quite yet so I hope that anyone that reads this and replies understands that it is helping me a great deal and together were gonna beat this.

Good luck all Anniek1

Check you out 🙂 Great work, I don't know the game myself but I'm thinking you are slightly better than I @ computers & can handle something a little more advanced than Tetris for beginners 😉

I have heard that money loses is value online! I can see why...It lost it's value for me more when I started handing over my bank card & getting credit on the machine, cutting out the middle man (cash)! Hell I'd still drive 5 miles to a different supermarket to get 5p off a tin of soup so I wasn't completely oblivious to the losses!

Don't worry about not being ready to dish out words of wisdom...If you want to give something, pop over onto a few diaries, all you need to say is hi & that you are dropping in with some support!

Good to see you have your guard up against complacency, it is the enemy!

Marching alongside you - ODAAT

thank you oddat im on day 6 and been so good so relieved that its a bit easier than i thought again not being complacent. watched tv alone last night instead of opening laptop and today my daughter went through all my money and took over control of everything even my dds. went to the pub with partner and also paid back some of the money that i blew on slots through my daughter bless feel so happy that i got this far. i will be honest in work today had this overwelming feeling that i just wanted to get home and gamble the same as i did a couple of years ago when i gave up smoking wanting a f*g. the triggers were there and with slots its weird cause anything through the day sends off triggers to me even going past a l*******s shop with all the slots advertised in the window but i overcame that and while my partner was watching boring politics tonight and i still didnt go on slots.xxxx

Is it DAY 11 now?